Homework

To: Richard Nixon
From: me

Dear Dick,

It was all fine up until the zombie infestation. I mean, there I was, minding my own business, hooking for fun and profit, when in slithered this Chthulu beast. He asked if I was into tentacle porn and I was like, whatevz, you boneless freak.

I gotta say, it was the best I ever had (even better than the time I got mixed up with the Olsen twins and a jar of WD-40, but I digress). So I only charged him what I charge Lithuanians.

Then the zombies came, and they took my many-tentacled beast lover. I took up with a dinosaur named Clive. We're happy but he has too many teeth.

Hope all's well with you in hell!

Love,

jes

PS Hi to Pat.

You're with Clive? That SOB told me he was visiting his ailing mother. Sigh. I thought I'd give cold-blooded and extinct a try. Same old, same old.

Once you've gone scaly, you'll never go back.

Does that refer to Ctulhu, to Clive, or to Richard Nixon?