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Motivation Letter for a Graduate Program in 250 words

 
 
Reply Tue 27 Oct, 2015 12:46 pm
Hey Guys Just an other motivation letter
The limit for the motivation letter is 250 words but I have exceeded by 28 words, please find where I can slice a sentence and make it more interesting , and i think i have some grammar mistakes please help me Smile

Masters Program in Electrical Power Engineering

I am a curious electrical engineer who is passionate and practical with ability of managing skills makes my life interesting. After meeting Professor of TIR Javier Andrew I understood that TIR being a respected technical university prioritizes on real world problems in Electrical power engineering. Consequently I would like to study masters program in power engineering and solve grid black out challenges and regular power outages faced in India by improving transmission efficiency and improving power grid stability which I would like to learn from TIR and Sweden country. The universities industrial relations with ABB and EU companies make me feel confident that this goal can be achieved.
The aim for getting admitted also interests me by the vibrant culture and international experience which I would gain at the university. I would like the privilege of meeting experts in my field and working with the state of art facilities which the university provides.
Right now I am working as an electrical equipment automation engineer in Gangavaram port; my previous projects include energy management at the harbor by SCADA, maintenance of voltage stability during peak loads, IGBT AC Inverter drives, DC drives and chopper units maintenance. As a team leader my team was successful in converting diesel run harbor crane to an electrically run automated crane thus reducing CO2 at work area. My interest also includes studying about integration of renewable sources and automated generation control. I like to experiment on Arduino micro controllers and also learnt android coding in free time. My extracurricular activities include volunteering as scouts for Polio vaccine distribution and conducting awareness programs. I like to do outdoor activities like camping, bike riding with my friends.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Oct, 2015 12:58 pm
@girishjakkam,
You can cut some words here and there by using shorter, tighter phrasing. E. g. see if you can torch the word 'that'.

'Right now' can be changed to 'currently', etc.
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dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Oct, 2015 01:26 pm
@girishjakkam,
Thank you Giri for this opportunity, after a lifetime in the field. I admire your determination


I am a curious electrical engineer, passionate and practical, with an ability to manage skills that make my life interesting. After meeting Professor of TIR Javier Andrew (TIR being a respected [Swedish?] technical university prioritizing real-world problems in electrical engineering), I now would like to enter ( a? their?) Masters Program in Power Engineering to solve grid-blackout challenges as well as regular (other frequent?) outages faced in India.

Supposedly I'd do this by improving transmission efficiency and power-grid stability. The university's industrial relations with ABB and EU companies make me feel confident that my goal can be achieved.

Another aim for admission also kindles my interest in the vibrant culture and international experience which I hope to gain at the university. Also I would hope to meet experts in my field and work with many state-of-the-art facilities TIR provides.

Right now (currently? thanks to Jes above), however, I am working as an electrical-equipment automation engineer in Gangavaram port, the deepest all-weather port in India (https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=Gangavaram+port ). My previous projects include energy management at SCADA Harbor (?), maintenance of voltage stability during peak loads, and (maintenance of? working with?) IGBT AC Inverter and DC drives and chopper-units.

As a Team Leader my (squad, unit? contingent?) was successful converting a diesel harbor crane to an electrically-run automated model, thus reducing CO2 at its work area. My interests also include study about integration of renewable sources and automated generation control. In free time I like to experiment on Arduino microcontrollers and learn android coding.

My extracurricular activities include volunteering as Scout for Polio Vaccine Distribution and conducting (various?) awareness programs (, including.....?). In addition I enjoy outdoor activities like camping and biking with my friends.
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