You ever feel like you're living in a soap opera?

I'm sorry all this stuff happened recently. Eek.

I've always wondered what your real name was, shewolfnm.

Melissa, huh? Nice.

so, did you have a healthy breakfast? They say it can really change your day for the better.

hehehe.. yes I did. Orange juice, toast, some coffee and a big bowl of strawberries.
I did feel better after eating that. I consider strawberries comfort food. I think I will be eating alot of those

I'm not much for giving out those virtual hugs, shewolf, but let's just say I am gently massaging your shoulders right now and whispering soft words of encouragement in your ear.

That will probably scare the hell out of you and all your troubles will be whisked away.

I agree with Gus, Melissa is a nice name.

Yes, I am officially scared. thanks for the hug.!!! :-) hahahahah, and the laugh. I needed that

Jeez, you've had a tough year, huh? It's good that you can vent. Yeah, it happens that way sometimes. I have often wondered if we are really just put here for God's amusement! ("Let's see how she handles this one")!
I hope the next six months will be an improvement.

Hey, shewolfm, As someone once told me:

When you're down and out, lift up your hands and shout, " I'm down and out"...

Go see Gus, let him put you on a stile in the twilight of the country evening. It won't help all that you have encountered, but at least you'll be able to get it all in perspective.

Incidentally, I can empathize with you.

Yes, getting it all out of your system is a good thing. I've been in hell and back stages in my life as well, as I'm sure most of us have, but things seem to level out in time.

Hang in there and my thoughts will be with you.

I am hoping all this drama will end some time soon. I just feel so tired. Always tired. Im too young to be tired. Im not even 40. But yet, I feel 60 or 80.
I wonder what life is like in someone elses skin. Not mine. Maybe I have more to be thankful for then I can see right now.
I just got a call from my mother. Seems the accident was my aunts fault. She fell asleep at the wheel. The other family was injured, but no deaths. Her boyfriend and his 7 yr old son were in the car also. I originally thought it was Wanda, her boyfriend and HIS mother , and gramma. But it was his son. Everyone but gramma died. I am still expecting her to die. She was beaten up very bad and being in her late 80's, I dont know that her heart can handle burying her daughter.
Do people always feel like a zombie when things like this happen? I keep thinking that I dont KNOW my aunt because that isnt her who died. Yet the realistic side of me knows she is dead. I dont even feel like my feet are on the ground.
My daughter is taking her afternoon nap next to me and I realize that , I never took her to meet wanda. I told her over and over again I would but never did. I guess now is the time I will start the 'self blame' part of grieving?
Thanks for the words everyone. :-) It is always nice to know I am not alone and that things will get better.

You can get very tired of Character Building Experiences. All the same, hold your dominion.

i think my character is strong enough hehehe. im ready to move on .

Melissa is a delightful name. My heartfelt thoughts go out to you, and I know you will pull through this. I'm not always good with comfort, but I'm good with comfort recipes. This one might help you right now:

Strawberry Granita

1 cup (250 ml) water
1/2 cup (125 ml) sugar
2 cups fresh strawberries, pureed in an electric blender or food processor
2 Tbs (30 ml) lemon juice

Mix the sugar and water together and bring just to a boil, and remove from the heat. Let cool, then chill. When chilled, combine with the strawberry puree and lemon juice. Pour into a rectangular baking tray with a two inch rim and pop into the freezer. Rake through it with a fork every 30 minutes or so to spread the ice crystals. If the freezer is cold, it should be done in 2 hours, if not, 3-4, but the anticipation not only gives you something to do, but a healthy reward at the end.

that was a GOOD recipe. my husband and I made that last night and sat outside just talking about our families. Honestly.... ( whispering ) i didnt hear a word he said.. i just ate strawberries. :-)

Heh heh, glad to help.

Hey cav....

Hi Shewolf...

I got my own drama...now i got a call from one of my estranged sisters last night. My oldest niece turns 7...she's six months older than my oldest boy.

Well my wife HATES my sister. So i gotta BS my way around that one plus my parents are moving into their new house they had custom built.

I don't want stepmother questions and i need to tell my sister i don't want her comments about the future sexuality habits of my oldest son.

everyone seems to favor my 4 year old boy, my mr. mini-me.

there is no denying that he is my boy. my other son looks like his grandad from this mom's side to the tee...

but my baby girl she's half and half.

But every couple of months seems to be a drama and i gotta answer tough questions that i lie endlessly to.

Sorry to hear about all this, Shewolf.

I think we all have times in our lives where it feels like life sucks. I've had a year or two in a row like yours myself, and there's nothing anyone can say to make you feel better. This stuff is all going to still be there once you're done reading this thread.

We all have our turns on the bottom of the heap, but things do eventually get better. This stuff will also make you smarter and stronger if that's any consolidation, and you'll be proud when you look back on your life and see that you've come through even the worst, maybe not unscathed, but definitely a smarter, better person.

Hey, speaking of feeling like your life resembles a shitty TV show, I remember back in the mid-90's when during the crappy old talk show days, Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones, Maury, you name it, in between commercials they'd advertise for new people to come on the show and share their freakish life stories, and for awhile there they all applied to me. Makes you want to dive in front of a bus:

1. "Are you someone whose parents refuse to speak to you because you married someone they hate? Call the Maury show and tell us about it!"

2. "Are you someone who has been married to an abusive, overweight, drunk who seldom bathes and never works? Call the Jenny show and tell us about it!"

3. "Are you currently hiding from an ex who wants to murder you? Call the Jerry Springer show and tell us about it!"

4. "Are you owed years of back child support and living in destitution as a result of it? Call the Maury show! We can help!"

the list is endless

It does get better, it does! Be strong and don't lose your sense of humor. There was a time when time I was hating life, but now I can laugh about most of this. Keep the faith.

HAhahaha... you know what is funny suz... I was watching jerry springer just yesterday morning LOOKING for a reason to remind myself...' at least I dont do....'
HAHAH! And boy did I get it. The show was about 2 sisters dating one man who was also dating thier mom. :eyeroll:
Stupid stupid stupid stuff.. but sometimes.. upper class white trash talk tv like jerry springer does make you feel better. hehehe
Im not really hating my life.. I think I am just regretting that I cant live like I want to now. I have Dr appointments seems every 5 minutes, every 4 1/2 minutes my baby cries because I cant hold her as long as I could before the stroke, and now every 2 minutes someone is dying. >grr<
I know things will get better. Helll, they can ONLY get better, but right now I just feel like I am having my time robbed from me because of all this drama. It really sucks. I had several years of peace , and I worked really hard on myself and dived headfirst into my religion and came out a pretty cool woman. Now i feel like all that was stolen from me because this drama is toxic. It is draining on a person's soul. UGH! Today is my b-day... at least I dont have to attend a funeral today. That s a good thing huh :-)
my aunt's funeral is this saturday. my mom is driving down fom her home to stay with me through the weekend. So there is a nother plus. I get to be with my mom ( my best friend ) and she gets to see my daughter . Maybe things are getting better already? :-)