Is Celibacy the Future?

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Listened to this video today, which describes a seemingly massive withdrawal from romantic or sexual relationships by 20-something in Japan. Technology, gender norms and their rejection, too much work, Fukushima, are all mentioned as possible causes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tT7pJbfB_dI

The question they end up with, and which I'd like to raise here, is: Can this happen elsewhere? Will it? Or is this just a local and time-bound thing?

From what I see, it certainly CAN, it sometimes DOES, and to a degree it SHOULD happen elsewhere. The traditional married couple is outdated as a 'model' in the West as well, not only in Japan. Many men and women are not as interested in the other gender as they used to be, preferring to go for same-sex relationships that are now de-stigmatized. Gender roles are either imposed (and thus strained and insincere), or nonexistent (and thus confusing: it's safer to not play a game that you don't understand). And we now have access to a wealth of virtual worlds than are easier to maintain and less demanding in terms of sacrifices or commitment than our 'real world' relationships.

So the evolution 'out of the monogamous couple' is natural and understandable. We know more or less what we're after, e.g. more freedom, independence, sincerity, rapid gratification, less constraints. But we have still a rather unclear idea of what we might be losing... E.g. sex is an acquired taste. If an entire generation decides to de-prioritize sex and procreation altogether, we could end up in big demographic trouble, as is Japan apparently... Also I think people actually need a sense of sacrifice to feel 'whole'. We are social animals. Virtual social relations could end up filling that void in us with just more pretense rather than less of it.

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I don't see young adults wanting to be celibate. In fact, I am concerned about the increase in just casual sex. (Let's F#@K first, then get to know each other. )

I see a change in the female outside of the US. They want a career, to travel and ability to run their own lives now. They are refusing arranged marriages and pressure to get married. Education seems important. They are getting involved with "causes." They are delaying pregnancies. (they are getting pets, though)

In the US, (and this depends on where the female lives) marriages are being delayed or the women are declaring that marriage is not in their future.

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@Olivier5,

I surely doubt it but I'm no future guru.

I did read some article about changes in japanese youth, but that article seems in my memory to have addressed the matter as having to do with not wanting children and all the complication re housing and life style that they bring.. plus some of the changes you mention.

We as a global population could arguably use lower birth rates, but if that is happening across the sphere I wouldn't first think of celibacy as the cause, more that there are changes re birth control availability and attitudes toward it.

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@PUNKEY,

Quote:

I don't see young adults wanting to be celibate. In fact, I am concerned about the increase in just casual sex. (Let's F#@K first, then get to know each other. )

Casual sex could also be a way to stay single but sexually active, no?

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@ossobuco,

Quote:

I did read some article about changes in japanese youth, but that article seems in my memory to have addressed the matter as having to do with not wanting children and all the complication re housing and life style that they bring.. plus some of the changes you mention.

Makes sense. I gathered cost of living / housing is pretty high there.

Quote:

We as a global population could arguably use lower birth rates, but if that is happening across the sphere I wouldn't first think of celibacy as the cause, more that there are changes re birth control availability and attitudes toward it.

Agree, and I hope there will be some 'demographic transition' towards lower birth rates everywhere.

On second thought, even if celibacy becomes more fashionable (or marriage less fashionable) in a given generation, that does NOT necessarily imply lower birth rates. It can also mean more single parents. Single mothers with kids from different fathers is a growing trend in the Caribbean, for instance.

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@Olivier5,

I think the article I saw did say the japanese youth were having less sex. I don't think of that as happening all over, but don't know. Just guessing, lack of privacy can be a downer. I've read people in lots of countries are having economic trouble re getting their own places as they become adults. I am thinking that is so here in the U.S. too. Of course, there are still cars, should you have one, and the landscape mode, should there be any around.

Anyway, I don't think sex is going away any time soon.

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@PUNKEY,

Why is casual sex a concern?

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@ossobuco,

Quote:

Anyway, I don't think sex is going away any time soon.

Indeed. In a more sober mood now (where is the emoticon for hangover?), I can see how the very idea of a significant number of people foregoing sex is just ridiculous... Nature will always win.

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cel·i·bate ˈseləbət/ adjective
adjective: celibate
1.
abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, typically for religious reasons.
"a celibate priest"
having or involving no sexual relations.
"I'd rather stay single and celibate"
synonyms: unmarried, single, unwed, spouseless; More
chaste, virginal, virgin, maidenly, maiden, intact, abstinent, self-denying
"an order of celibate brothers"

noun
noun: celibate; plural noun: celibates
1.
a person who abstains from marriage and sexual relations.

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Casual sex can be harmful IF it becomes a life-long way of using other people for one's own pleasure only. It lacks long-term intimacy - AND no intended children come from it.

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@PUNKEY,

I thought it was what you do at a birthday party.

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@PUNKEY,

Quote:

abstaining from marriage and sexual relations, typically for religious reasons.

Ah okay. I thought "celibacy" only meant not getting married or in a relationship. My bad.

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@Olivier5,

Celibacy means abstaining from sex . It is associated with other things but does not include those other concepts in its meaning . You can abstain from marriage without being celibate . You can be a priest and not be celibate .

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@Ionus,

Well then, celibacy is certainly not the future.... I meant remaining single with the occasional casual sex. Is there a word for that?

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@Olivier5,

Quote:

Well then, celibacy is certainly not the future.... I meant remaining single with the occasional casual sex. Is there a word for that?

Bachelorhood? Player?

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@Olivier5,

non-promiscuous ?

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There must be a word in English to describe the option of not marrying and remaining single... Bachelorhood sounds silly and immature.

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@Olivier5,

Quote:

There must be a word in English to describe the option of not marrying and remaining single... Bachelorhood sounds silly and immature.

Why does it sound silly and immature?

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@argome321,

The primary meaning of a "bachelor" is someone who just had his bachelor's degree.

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@Olivier5,

Quote:

The primary meaning of a "bachelor" is someone who just had his bachelor's degree.

Ok, but why do you feel it is silly and immature to be used as a term for an unmarried man who enjoys casual sex?

1 Reply

@argome321,

Man or woman. Let's take a 50 yr old woman without education. She can't read nor write, and has never been married. Therefore she's a bachelorette?

Am I the only one to hear a dissonance here?

2 Replies

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