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Wed 7 Jan, 2015 01:31 pm
So today I found out my fiancé has set up a profile of us on a dating site. No pics of him but a few suggestive ones of me, no face. Saying we are a couple looking for a girl to join us. Which has been discussed between us a lot lately, but to find out he's done this without telling me has left me feeling hurt. Doesn't feel like it's about me or us as he's done it secretly. Once I'd calmed down after finding out, I decided to create a profile of a girl looking for a couple to join, and contacted him. Then he was answering as me not him?? What's that all about?! He's been online all day whilst in work so I doubt he was just answering me. So now I'm totally confused and hurt. Has this happened to anyone before? What should I do??
@Red79,
If you guys are into this kind of things - why hurt? he is trying for both of you.
And if you look at it in a fun way - tell him something online that is exclusive and then say it in his face so he would be like Oops!
You will be able to tell a lot by his face expression.
I don't see anything awful so far. But you've got to talk.
Red- you better be VERY sure this is something you want to do. Otherwise, you'd be thrilled that he's taking care of lining up this 3rd party and taking care of all the details.
So - why are you angry and hurt?
(As you can tell, I'm not a proponent of 3 ways or swinging. They just never turn out)
.
@Eliusa,
I know what you're saying. I see your point too, and it hurts because he went off and done it without me. And because he doesn't know it was me he was talking to, he's lied about what he's been doing all day. I guess if he'd just said let's set up a profile I'd have at least thought about it. And the posting the semi naked photos of me? I don't like that. We do talk, all the time, I just wish he had t done it behind my back. He's home now and no different to any other day! I'm waiting for him to reply to meeting up and then decide how to bring it up. Thanks
@PUNKEY,
I love the idea of it all, seeing him with another, me with a girl etc... But maybe not yet. So he should have waited IMO until we both decide to go do it.
I appreciate your comment, thanks
@Red79,
Red79 wrote:I'm waiting for him to reply to meeting up
the game you're playing is no different from the game he is playing
if it's bothering you, talk to him
@ehBeth,
Thanks. That's why these forums are great. Hearing things from other perspectives. I'm a lot calmer now, I guess it was a shock at first. I'll talk to him later. Appreciate your advice.
@Red79,
Red79 wrote:
I love the idea of it all, seeing him with another, me with a girl etc... But maybe not yet. So he should have waited IMO until we both decide to go do it.
I appreciate your comment, thanks
Yes, however most likely what he is up to is checking to see if this can even be done, how you would do on the meat market if you gave it a go. If he had a good prospect he would presumably come to you to see if you want to go forwards.
So long as he does not reveal your identity and so long as he does not actually meet with anyone without your consent then I would classify this as no harm no foul.
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