Is it time to go home?

No; you're not being selfish. You have several options that you must choose from. The balls in your court, and your decision in how this plays out in the end.

Sorry to hear about your cancer. Some of us were diagnosed with prostate cancer, and have recovered from treatment. Good luck to you.

Decisions are never easy; talk to your family.

It is hard from here to get why she won't go with you, these divided places.

If I were you, I'd go where you want to go.

That sentence was from an old song that affected me when it was popular and I heard it, the Mamas and Papas -
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzG-BP6RYko

That was relatively superficial, but your problem is not superfical, and close. I've no real advice. Where would you feel best?

Thank you for your reply, I would feel best in my home town. But I don't want to loose her. My ideal situation would be for us both to move closer to my family and friends but she just doesn't want to move. I feel I must go back home 😞

Then go. Go where you will be most comfortable and get the best care, both medical-wise and family-wise.

I agree, definitely, with jespah.

Your decision.

I think you should consider the medical facilities and treatment opportunities back home with family and friends. My old friends daughter is very young and has been fighting colon cancer for 4 years now. She was diagnosed at 36 but has made large strides, and she refers to her supporters as her tribe. If you are closer to home, you should find more resources. I don't mean this as a criticism of your partner, but she's going to need help if you get weak, and it can be exhausting dealing with the medical community to make sure you are receiving the best care. And she might be able to handle, but if you return home you can rely on a group to help you. And frankly, there are times in life when we all need some help.

I hope you make the choice that is best for you. Many times life can be prolonged in a comfortable way that you can enjoy. I wish you a great deal of luck with your treatment and your decision.

Thank you all for your replies
We have spoken and the main reason she would not move with me is that when I die she will be left alone away from her home town and family ? This really hurts to hear. I understand but I still want her to come with me....

Of coarse you do, but as much as you must make a choice, so does she. Respect her choice.

I don't understand her reasoning, if the situation was reversed wouldn't you want her to be where she is the most comfortable? I understand it's an honest answer, but life doesn't come with a warranty. This might sound crazy, but she really can't assume she will live longer than you despite your prognosis.

Is she afraid your family will shut her out? Is that a possibility? I don't remember if you mentioned parents, but if my grown child was sick, I'd want to help out. If she changes her mind and decides to move with you, is there a reason she wouldn't be able to return to where she feels most comfortable when the end comes? Is an approved leave of absence possible at her workplace?i know the doctors have given you a grim outlook, but many people do so much better than their doctors thought they could. I'm sure being closer to your family would be a big plus for you. I know this is your decision, but if someone told me I'd have only 6 months to a year left, I would be sucking up every ounce of pleasure I could, I'd spend time with my friends, my husband and son and grand daughter. I'd fly my nephews in for a beach vacation, oh hell I'd pack as much living as I could into whatever time I had left.

But to be fair, I'm probably a lot older than you, and I've lost many family members and friends. We all say we should live every day like it's our last, but we tend to slip back into old habits, worry about things that really don't matter. But you know you don't have as much spare time to worry about nonsense. Give yourself a week or so, see a therapist (it might be good to have a neutral place to discuss your options) but then do what makes you happy or at least more content. I truly wish you didn't have to make a decision, but I also hope for the best for you. Good luck.