help is need it (important) with 2 song lirycs!

English ain't my mother language, neither is my second, so, well, I know what I learn in the daily live in Norway. Well, now I'm facing a situation in witch, for a vocal audition, I have to write 2 sets of lyrics , make the vocal arrangements , record them and send them to the guys. Since the band is substantially important I don't want to compromise anything with bad grammar, or "childish English" witch is a mistake I commit fairly often...
here are the lyrics so far :
End this torment!

who’s got the nerve to judge
the way we walk our path?
like we don’t know what to live is like.
Drowned in things to attend that we don’t care about
like what you believe is wrong & right.
you've failed to see
and understand
my self destruction is my
self reflection!
upon what you regret.
mutilation
of what's beyond your mind.
Desperation
to see that you still breath
Full transgression
beyond suffer and grief.
Shut up!
and eat your
corruption
while this bottle goes down.
we'll never
regret what
have forged
the blade that stab your mind ….

*************************Second song**********************

he created his own world with pride
like a life illusion witch help him to survive
build with bricks of an illusive mind
witch in blood was seeking what in love never found
he got relieve in doing
what others cannot wish
finding in death his own way of life
a forest embrace his soul
like concrete never would
shaping with mankind hatred the identity of his own
Satan!!
The mad drifter!
Like thunders in the mountains
his thoughts grew deep and long
and like waves strike the cliff walls
to human life he stroke
blessed with
the the mind to comprehend
earth life
like no one else would dare
in a circle
of stones
bathed in moonlight