I want to be an online psychic

Incidentally, chopped up gherkins are pretty good in a homemade 1000 islands dressing.

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People would fall for it; and, as the spirit world does not bow to money, it wouldn't be a scam!

As for the move to the Netherlands Antilles, that was just one idea that I got from one of my acquaintances' acquaintances elaborate schemes. You'd be so rich, you could move anywhere you could care to move to. After all, stupidity is a lucrative business.

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I think I should test the waters here, and summon up a dead relative or something.

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Good idea. Whenever you're ready, just holler..

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Okay drom, I sense you want to summon someone from your past, now deceased. Is this true?

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cavfancier wrote:

The Netherlands? Hmm...have to think about that, I don't ski, nor do I speak Dutch.

Pretty funny, cav! The Netherlands Antilles are islands in the Caribbean. They speak English with a local patois, and the only skiing they do is water skiing.

(Curacao, Bonaire, St. Maarten, St. Eustatius & Saba...take your pick)

Some psychic YOU are!!!

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Eva, ever thought about a career in psychic fraud detection? Well I just happen to run a school that has graduated thousand' of fraud-detecting professionals. If you'll just send $29.99 for the first course we'll have you in the workplace in no time.

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Eva wrote:

cavfancier wrote:
The Netherlands? Hmm...have to think about that, I don't ski, nor do I speak Dutch.

Pretty funny, cav! The Netherlands Antilles are islands in the Caribbean. They speak English with a local patois, and the only skiing they do is water skiing.

(Curacao, Bonaire, St. Maarten, St. Eustatius & Saba...take your pick)

Some psychic YOU are!!!

Eva, even psychics need to joke once in a while, or in my case, most of the time. Laughing

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Because of the recent popularity of the movie "The Matrix," I recomend weaving in some technobabble with your prophecies.

Don't forget to sell shiny/sparkly things on the side as potent objects. Something traditional, like "healing crystals" (only the really pretty ones) or something more modern like copper bracelets (which, btw, are mildly poison if not sealed correctly) or "fairy" glitter. Maybe on the technobabble side you could give someone a golden (plated) circuitboard to implant under their skin? To "oreint the self" Eh? Eh?

Don't go playing too much with prophecizing schemes. Look at what L. Ron Hubbard did.

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Hmm, good thought there Portal Star. I'm better with psychobabble than technobabble. Perhaps you can suggest some useable terminology.

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cavfancier wrote:

Hmm, good thought there Portal Star. I'm better with psychobabble than technobabble. Perhaps you can suggest some useable terminology.

The latest most prevalent technology fetishism is comparing the human mind to a computer (note that the human mind was frequently compared to the windmill during its heyday.) This computationalism could easily be applied to sound and human emotions - like you're explaining something very difficult to someone naive.

Ex: Your software has been invaded by an evil man. His virus has permiated your system*. For a reboot, try my golden skin chip implant which will re-align the magnetic poles in your chacras for a new start!

*How can I tell? Wireless vibrations, of course. Your voice is transmitted to me in vibrations across the earth recepted by the phone. So are your chacra stress patterns emitted by your neuro frequencies, much like wireless internet.

The hardest part would be to prevent yourself from cackling.

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yes indeed. I could not keep the cackling in, I'm afraid.

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Anyhooo...someone here must need a dead relative or friend to fakely conjure up...who's the first lackey, er, customer?

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Practice on me. Wink

I wanna talk to my ex-husband. I think...um...at least I HOPE...he is dead. As far as I'm concerned, anyway.

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Eva, Eva, Eva ...
He's not dead, he's just comatose.
In fact he's not worth thinking about a second longer! Very Happy

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cavfancier wrote:

Okay drom, I sense you want to summon someone from your past, now deceased. Is this true?

I do indeed, Cav! You're really the... real deal! Can you guess who it is that I wish to summon?

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Let's summon dlowan's great-grand uncle Hoppard, that I ate this past Easter for dinner. Braised, very yummy. What does he think about that and what has he to say about his great-grand niece?

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msolga wrote:

Eva, Eva, Eva ...
He's not dead, he's just comatose.
In fact he's not worth thinking about a second longer!

I would settle for comatose. Yep. Sounds good to me. Let's go with dag's suggestion instead.

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To address dag first, wabbits may be quick, but they ain't too bright, and often end up dead. Uncle Hoppard didn't even see it coming, and as for dlowan, I'm not certain his memory is that good.

Eva, as long your ex-husband is dead to you, that's dead enough for anyone. Avoid trying to make contact with that asshole.

Drom, I will hazard a guess....is it someone recently deceased?

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cavfancier wrote:

Eva, as long your ex-husband is dead to you, that's dead enough for anyone. Avoid trying to make contact with that ****.

Yep. So long dead, in fact, that I can now have fun with the memories. No cause for worry. Cool

Drom...we need an answer. The Great Cav's psychic powers are great. He hears many voices. He needs to know which of the dead you wish to contact.

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I want to be an online psychic

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