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Wed 21 Apr, 2004 01:10 pm
Hey, lets face it, psychics are just intuitive people too lazy to get a degree. I figure that I'm intuitive and lazy enough, except when it comes to cooking, to be an online psychic. Miss Cleo was indeed from Jamaica...Jamaica, Queens. Anyhoo, I'm pondering this as a second job, and just wondering how to organize things so that people don't realize that I am totally ripping them off. All suggestions are welcome.
What if I put on a fake Scottish accent?
I am in p.r., so naturally I would be an excellent advisor for this sort of sca....uh, venture.
Let's see, let's see...where to start...
First, I suggest you get their credit card numbers before you talk to them.
But you already knew that, didn't you? I mean, you're psychic! (Say "yeah.")
More advice to follow. Ask all the questions you'd like. I am here to help.
You'll need to add a dsiclaimer saying something like:
"This is for entertainment purposes only"
And get indemnification.
I designed two such sites once and I was wondering why I didn't run a sca.. business like that myself.
Oh, I already have the credit card numbers. Just waiting for them to call. After all, I am psychic. What about a psychic sidekick, like a talking monkey, or dog?
Craven, I anticipated the disclaimer, because, after all, I am psychic. I too have wondered why I haven't chosen the path of exploitation myself as of yet.
Didn't realize psychics maintained web sites, though I guess there's no reason not to. If they can get the vibe over the phone, I guess they can get it over the wires...or however messages flow back and forth in this medium.
Go for it cav!
margo wrote:cavfancier wrote:What if I put on a fake Scottish accent?
Hmmmmm - I'd have trouble believing a psychic with a Scots accent. Irish, maybe??? Can you do a good Dingle accent >- I never understood a soul there.
I'd re-think the wardrobe, too - you need something more mystical, in softer colours.
Well, Scots are realists, sort of the Dr. Phils of the psychic world. "Accch, lassie! Ye noo wot the trooble is, git oover eet!"
Never made it to Dingle when I was in Ireland, but I am familiar with their berries.
I think you ought to go with stunning ordinariness - sort of like the UFO abduction fella who sold millions of his books - his description of the craft as dirty and messy added a wondrous touch of realism. Your very pedestrian-ness makes you seem way more real than all the fake mystic stuff.
I suggest you dispense with anything resembling anal probes though...
Oh - will I have a good weekend?
Middle European would be good. Irish is a bad idea. Nobody believes the Irish. (I should know.)
Cav can you bend a spoon with your mind?
Diane, the spoon-bending thing is pretty much wrapped up by Uri Geller. I have however, bent many spoons in attempts to scoop out leftover, too-frozen sorbets.
dlowan should indeed have a good weekend, if she lets it happen. If it turns out sucky, it's your own fault.
See? I'm good...
Eva, I might try the Dracula thing, but I'll need to mull it over. If I go that route, do I get to nibble necks?
You need an 'unsuspecting' lackey who you claim you've picked out of random from the Internet. I can be that for you... You conduct your 'psychic' sessions in MSN messenger or something like that. I'll write in a screen to everyone what I'm thinking, and you will miraculously guess that my thoughts will be as follows:
1) Anne Brontë is wrongly called the lesser Brontë.
2) Do Gherkins have any use at all?
3) 'The only thing worse than being talked about is to be dead.'
Damn, I meant to add this:
Once they've seen how great you are and even knowing stupid little thoughts, you guess my past and then my future. They're amazed. You charge $199.99 per session, and then run off to the Netherlands Antilles.
Sounds plausible drom. Now, #3 was definitely not uttered by Sylvia Plath, methinks...
The Netherlands? Hmm...have to think about that, I don't ski, nor do I speak Dutch.
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