in love with my possibly gay friend?

Forums: Is He Gay, Does He Have Feelings For Me, In Love With Gay Friend, Relationships, Relationships-Question
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Ok long story but here goes.im a 30year old female and grew up with this close friend who is male and 34.he is so close to me and my family i always only considered him as like family. Until lately when smack bang out of no where i have started developing feelings for him.to say it took me by surprise is am understatement.anyway that's not all,some of our friends think he is gay because we have never known him to have a girlfriend.i even have my doubts.other friends think he's always been in love with me and give us quiet a slagging sayin we are perfect together and should date so now my head is melted.i text him last week telling him i had feelings for him and he blanked my text and acted like nothing had happened.i was told after that he thought one of my our mutual friends had done it off my phone as a joke. I know this guy is seriously shy but i am so confused.i can't get him out of my head.help

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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 3,418 • Replies: 20

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@curiouscat56,

Talk to him about it..in person. makes no sense to avoid it. after all, you have been friends this long so there should be nothing you can't discuss...right?

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@curiouscat56,

Tell him you've got tickets to a musical, if he gets really excited he's gay. Put on some Barbara Streisand, if he listens to it without throwing up, he's gay.

ask him who his favourite character is in Sex In The City, if his response is anything other than 'I've never watched it,' he's gay.

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..........or just have a word with his husband.

He'd know.

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@curiouscat56,

You used a text message to tell him you have feelings for him? It's time to try a face to face discussion. Then you will very likely know the answer one way or the other.

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@engineer,

engineer wrote:

You used a text message to tell him you have feelings for him? It's time to try a face to face discussion.

Really. How did people communicate before text messaging and Facebook?

1 Reply

@joefromchicago,

OMGAWDTHEREWASATIMEBEFORETEXTINGANDFB?

0 Replies

@izzythepush,

Why did you get thumbed down izzy? That was funny.

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@curiouscat56,

Sorry but this is such a cliched story.

He is gay and you have feelings for him because you have issues with masculinity.

He's a "safe" man because you know he will never ask of you what you fear.

I don't mean to minimize your situation, but you should really ask yourself why he is so appealing.

If you really aren't convinced he is gay then the obvious answer is to communicate with him. This doesn't mean you have to approach him with "Hey are you gay or do you want to get it on with me?"

If he harbors affection for you and is simply shy, a relatively obvious advance by you will trigger the response you desire.

What do you have to lose?

Rejection sucks but not as much as missing out on a potentially life-long loving relationship.

1 Reply

@curiouscat56,

Speak to him and tell him you value his friendship, and don't want to lose it, but that you have strong feelings for him and wonder if you have a future together as girlfriend and boyfriend. What's the worst that can happen? Wondering - guessing - asking friends for their opinion - none of this is helpful to you or to the object of your affection. Stop dithering. Act now - if he's gay then he can still be a good friend to you. If not - well, you'll never know if you don't do something about it.

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@izzythepush,

Ha ha I happen to know that he hates musicals so ill take that as a good sign

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@Finn dAbuzz,

Thanks for the advice but i definitely don't have issues with masculinity.he's very masculine.a typical mans man.i have feelings for him because he's a Great guy
yeah i think your right,iv nothing to lose.i know i won't lose him as a friend.though he will probably think im off my head and laugh at me ha ha

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You TEXTED him and asked him such an intimate question?

How immature.

No wonder he is ignoring you.

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I like musicals and I'm not gay. I loved Les Miz, well, except for Russell Crowe's singing.

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@IRFRANK,

Nothing wrong with a man liking musicals, IRFrank! Lots of men I know like them ... it takes a real man to admit to liking them though!

1 Reply

@vonny,

Quote:

Nothing wrong with a man liking musicals,

Nothing wrong with being gay either.

1 Reply

@IRFRANK,

IRFRANK wrote:

I like musicals and I'm not gay.

Maybe you're in denial.

1 Reply

@IRFRANK,

Quote:

Nothing wrong with being gay either.

Absolutely nothing wrong with being gay - one of my best friends is a gay male - but that's just the way he was born, like I was born a heterosexual female - we are what we are - nobody ought to think otherwise in this day and age!

1 Reply

@vonny,

Here's another clip from the same episode of the IT crowd.

0 Replies

@izzythepush,

Quote:

Maybe you're in denial.

No, I just prefer women. At my age it doesn't much matter.

1 Reply

in love with my possibly gay friend?

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