does my ex still like?

It seems that he wouldn't mind acknowledging you as a friend. There's nothing in what you've written that suggests he "wants" you.

I think you missed a few hints that he wasn't/isn't interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

Or, a possibility, he is one confused puppy and he isn't at all sure he knows what he wants.

If you hang in there, Jolee, a number of things could happen. They range between the two extremes; "you'll get a major hurt" and "you two will live happily ever after".

This is awfully complicated stuff. Having us guess which isn't going to send your relationship one way or 'tother.

I did write you an answer and I believe you said it was #1 so far.

The point about being an 'ex' after one month is entirely to your post, as well. You're obviously putting more importance on this relationship than he is, if you're calling him an 'ex' after dating for one month and he hasn't even contacted you. What would be your first clue he doesn't take this as seriously as you?

Take my advice and have fun with your friends and quit obsessing or thinking about this guy.

When people want something, they ask for it. If he hasn't asked you out, he may have decided after one month of dating that you two are not a good fit. Or he may just be immature and likes to play mind games. We don't know the two of you, so we can't tell. But as Jes said, don't throw yourself (or spend any more time and thought) at someone who's obviously not interested. Waste of time, and humiliating into the bargain.

Okay, just re-read your post -

You dated for one month, he breaks it off with you for whatever reasons, and then spent 6 months as follows:

- you text him several times and he ignores you
- you meet up with him once as a mate, he ignores you, get angry and throw a drink in his face
- you go into his pub several times and he ignores you
- you go into his pub once and he's chatty

where do you get the idea he might be missing you or jealous? And why would you want to even date this guy?

well i guess the reason i said i was in a relationship with him is because at the very start he gave the impression thats what he wanted by saying stuff like " this isn't just sex is it because thats not what i want" i responded by saying "i'm not that sort of person". he then went on to explain that the reason he had said this was because he'd been cheated on in the past and finds it hard to trust women". i did speak to a few friends about after we split up and they said that maybe he wanted a relationship but then maybe he got scared for some reason because of whatever his other ex did to him and rather than talking to me about it maybe he thought it would be easyer on him if he just finished it with me. they also said that when i text him to go out for a drink and he ignored me, well maybe that was because he changed his mind about being friends and rather than telling me that he may of thought it was easyer just to ignore me maybe hoping i'd go away. part of the reason i chucked a drink in his face was because he used to say stuff like he'd always be there for me where losing my mum is concerned amoung other things to do with her death (she died just 2 months before at this point)so came across as the loving boyfriend who wanted to support me thoughout all this i was going through. so when he then turns around and finishes it with me i don't take it lightly. just thought i'd also mention that when we were together he seemed very keen on introducing me to his mum and dad, and even indroducing my dad to his mum and dad as well. i thought he may of been jealous when this guy was chatting me up because when the guy was sat with me talking quite a bit my ex seemed to have this awkward look on his face that even my mate who was also there noticed. so for my mate to notice it as well seemed like he made it obvious. i mean if i'm an ex and he isn't interested in me any more then why look so awkward for even my mate to notice. then when i said about how chatty he was towards me, well what i ment was he didn't just talk to me as i was passing by him or something.if that was the case then i'd say he was just making the effort to be friends but he actually seemed to be going out of his way to come up and talk to me just like how he used to just before we got together. the thing is with my ex is that he isn't the forward type with women so isn't like this with all the girls, a little on the shy side.i do know from other people who know him that he hasn't been on a date for about 4 years . i mean it took my mate to actually message him on facebook just to say that i liked him because i got to admit i'm a little on the shy side with blokes because of whats happened in my past as well. anyway, i thought the way he was with me the other day might of ment that maybe he was just regreting finishing it with me and maybe just doesn't know how to aproach me about it so thought he'd just start a conversation to see how i would react. hope that makes more sense and gives a better understanding about the situation

I repeat:



Doesn't sound to me that he still likes you. And quite possibly he doesn't like having drinks thrown in his face so is even more hesitant. Just go out and find a new guy. This one sounds like he's done.

There's a book your might want to read, called: He's Just Not That Into You.

JMO.

And once again, one big long paragraph and no capitalization to help. geez.

Seems quite straightforward to me.

He misses having female company, tried to put it right, but found it just was not the same as many years ago, you therefore reminded him of his breakup and the reasons for it, so he assumed it was doomed to failure.. Hence the hot/cold.. as he deduced if life really was that way for him now..
The hot/cold suggests he might try again, but for now everyone including his family can see he has tried, so he will not get the earache so regular.

He helped you a bit through a bad time, you helped him comprehend his current situation..

These things are good.

Even if the situation from the side unheard seems entirely different, believing this will level the field again... Try later with some genuine clarity.

yeah ok he probably didn't like having a drink being chucked in his face but at the end of the day if hes going to bring my mum into things and she had only been gone 2 months then i'm obviously going to get upset with this. i mean i'm not the sort of person that takes **** from people, i stick up for myself. and as far as him not really being in to me is concerned as you said. well lets just say that when i was out the other night i saw him again. yet again he was really chatty and there was a moment when we were talking just the 2 of us. anyway, he asked me at one point if i was seeing anyone at the moment. i responded by saying no and with that we talked about when we went out and he asked if i wanted to give it another go. he said that the reason he finished it with me wasn't because he wasn't in to me but because he got a little scared because of what his ex did to him. he said now that he hasn't seen me much in the last 7 months since we split up its given him time to think about the people who really care about him in life. anyway with that he apoligised for certain things that appened in the past and asked if i wanted to give it another go. of coarse i said yes. so i guess i should see how it goes this time round. you say capitalization would of helped, but you obviously never really needed it as the fact you responded to this post ment that you must of understood what i was saying no problem. can't say that anyone would respond to a post if they really never understood it

Well, for heaven's sake. Things aren't always as clear cut as we want them to be, are they, jump on the bandwagon naysayers?



Mame actually gave you good advice on the caps and using paragraphs, Jolee. It definitely does make it easier to read. Nobody REALLY needs it but it does help.

YS MAME MAY HAV GAVE ME SOM ADVICE ON TH CAPS BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT, END OF!!!. I WISH SOM PEOPL WOULD QUIT PICKING UP ON SOMETHIN SO PATHETIC. NOW, HOWS THAT FOR GREAT SPELLING HAHAHA. WAS THAT ENOUH CAPS 4 THE BOTH OF YOU

what night was this?

Spelling is a non-issue, Jolee, but the other part really was good advice from Mame. Obviously, you know that all caps wasn't what she was talking about.

Constructive criticism isn't really criticism, you know.

Let's just say you "slept" with him again, because he decided to feed you with all these words ...... and hasn't probably had sex in those 7 months or very little...

You're setting yourself up for another month and then zilch.......................

in
my
OPinIon.

Look, you're here asking for advice or opinions, so make it easy on us. See, two spaces after a period isn't so hard. Capitalizing the first letter of a sentence lets us know it's a new sentence. Why not help us help you this way?

The default nowadays is one space after a period, Mame. I believe that computers self correct to set the spacing at one.

If you did put two spaces, when I copied and pasted all this answer, the spacing had been moved to one.

Paragraph breaks would be a great idea too, Jolee.

Hmmm, I'm going to try that. I like the two spaces. I know grant-writers use one because they're crammed for space, but all the books I read have two, which is what I learned. It makes for easier reading, IMO. But as I say, I'm going to try this - cut and paste and add it as an edit.

Edit:

Hmmm, I'm going to try that. I like the two spaces. I know grant-writers use one because they're crammed for space, but all the books I read have two, which is what I learned. It makes for easier reading, IMO. But as I say, I'm going to try this - cut and paste and add it as an edit.

No, I still see two spaces.

Edit: I saw two spaces until I updated, and then it became one space. Wonder why that is.

Computer default spacing, I think. I thought I remembered this being discussed long ago on some thread here - maybe, maybe not?????

When I copied and pasted yours, it had already been reduced to a single space.