3
   

PHP Debate

 
 
Reply Fri 5 Mar, 2004 11:04 pm
Code:<?php
#######################################################################
## ##
## PHP DEBATE 1.0.0 Initiation file ##
## ----------------------------------------------------------------- ##
## ##
#######################################################################
## ##
## Author: Robert 'Craven de Kere' ##
## http://www.able2know.com ##
## ##
#######################################################################

include_once ('common_variables.php');

if ($_SERVER['SERVER_NAME'] != 'able2know.com'{
echo "You have stolen this from able2know.com. Which is fine with us. Let us know when the burning sensation in your crotch shows up.";

BurningSensation(crotch);

}

if ($user_visits < 1) {
echo "<b>Disclaimer</b><br><a href=\"http://www.php.net\">This is PHP</a><br><a href=\"$PHP_SELF\">This is PHP on drugs</a><br>Please do not expect valid syntax, this is a $lang['joke'],";
}

if (!isset($HTTP_GET_VARS['username']){
die ('<b>Fatal Error:</b>
User unknown, please register to participate ');
}

$root_path = '/home/' . $username . '/public_html';

//
// connect to the database
//

include_once ($root_path . 'brain.conf');

$sql = "SELECT *
FROM " . BRAIN_TABLE;
if( !($result = $db->sql_query($sql)) )
{
message_die(CRITICAL_ERROR, "Could not query brain", "", __LINE__, __FILE__, $sql);
}

//
// check for common_sense, kill the script if not found, load common_sense if found
//

if (!file_exists($root_path . 'common_sense.dat'))
{
die ('<b>Fatal Error:</b>
$root_path does not contain common_sense.dat,
please download common_sense.gzip from http://www.waggery.com/ ');
}
else {
include_once ($root_path . 'common_sense.dat');
}

if isset($HTTP_POST_VARS['mood'])) {
$mood = ($HTTP_GET_VARS['mood']);
} else {

echo "You have no strong feelings one way or the other";

}

if ($mood = 'humourless'){
die ('<b>Fatal Error:</b>
Please download homor.gzip and run teh install file first ');
}

start(php_debate)

?>
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 3 • Views: 5,464 • Replies: 17
No top replies

 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 12:15 am
!!!!
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 01:11 am
Code:<?php
/* Beware of bugs */

switch ($mood){
case "braindead":
include_once ('circular_logic.php');
case "stressed":
if ($cause = "constipation"){
for ($i = 1; $i <= 50; $i++){
EatPrune($i);
}
if (!$tp or $tp=0){
update tp_holder set roll=1;
insert into trash (select empty_roll from tp_holder);
}
CommenceEvacuation();
} else {
while ($mood = "stressed") && (!$dead){
SwigVodka();
}
}
default:
echo "Allow a few seconds to load debate\n\n";
RubBrow();
ItchCrotch();
}

ReallyStart(php_debate);

?>
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 01:57 am
Code:<?php
#######################################################################
## ##
## ROTFLMAO 1.0.0 ##
## ----------------------------------------------------------------- ##
## ##
#######################################################################
## ##
## Author: Robert 'Craven de Kere' ##
## http://www.able2know.com ##
## ##
#######################################################################

if ($_SERVER['SERVER_NAME'] != 'able2know.com'{
echo "You have stolen this from able2know.com. Which is fine with us. Let us know when the burning sensation in your crotch shows up.";

BurningSensation(crotch);

}

function roll ();
{
rotate ();
{
for ($left_space = 0; $left_space > 10; $left_space--) {
roll_left ();
}
for ($right_space = 0; $right_space > 10; $right_space--) {
roll_right ();
}
}
}

function rotflmao ();
{
laff ();
roll();
}

while ($ass_attached = TRUE) && ($floor_unobstructed = TRUE){
{
rotflmao ();
}

if ($ass_attached = FALSE){
end_rotflmao()
echo "That is easily the funniest thing posted to A2K Monger";
}
?>
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 02:07 am
[
Code:<?php
#######################################################################
## ##
## Move thread? 1.0.0 ##
## ----------------------------------------------------------------- ##
## ##
#######################################################################
## ##
## Author: Robert 'Craven de Kere' ##
## http://www.able2know.com ##
## ##
#######################################################################

if ($_SERVER['SERVER_NAME'] != 'able2know.com'{
echo "You have stolen this from able2know.com. Which is fine with us. Let us know when the burning sensation in your crotch shows up.";

BurningSensation(crotch);

}

$initial_intent = 'serious';
$current_tone = 'Sheer frivolity';

$yes = $HTTP_GET_VARS['vote_yes'];
$no = $HTTP_GET_VARS['vote_no'];

if ($yes > $no){

move_to_waggery.com ()
}
?>
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 02:10 am
Code:<?php

echo 'gobs of errors! The quick replu window is way too small!';
?>
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 02:33 am
Code:<?php

AddMyVote("yes");
if ($yes > $no){
move_to_waggery.com()
}

//
// Check value set in earlier post & razz accordingly
//

if ($ass_attached = FALSE){
echo "<h1>Behold Craven, the Assless Wonder!!</h1>";
start(php_freakshow);
}
?>
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 07:47 am
Code:<?php

$aside = "I've written very little PHP before now, so I'm having to learn from your syntax, run php.net function searches & rely on some old VB knowledge...but it's been fun! I doubt anyone has written functions that detail rotflmao procedures before :lol: or constipation relief procedures, for that matter, heh.\n<br>'Twould be difficult for me to write PHP for any kind of debate that requires more than simple if else clauses, for loops & basic stuff like that, though. Me hopes some of the other PHP programmers 'round these parts show.";

echo ("<small>".$aside."</small>");
?>
0 Replies
 
JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 02:06 pm
truth
I'm nauseated.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 03:53 pm
Code:<?php

echo "Don't take any hints from my code, it's rife with syntax errors and upon a second look the programming is all wrong too. For instance, the rolling would go to the left and never stop because I started it at 0, am subtracting and the for statement is > 10. In some cases I just ignore the programming to make it more legible (and I use an include for general variables and functions so that I can use stuff i never declared,";
?>
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 08:49 pm
Code:<?php

$how_easily_amused = $HTTP_GET_VARS['hea'];
$attention_span_loss = $HTTP_GET_VARS['asl'];
$amused_value = ($how_easily_amused - $attention_span_loss);

echo "Heh. Yeah, I'd noticed the general variables include (I'm using it too :)) & the infinite roll() loops..";

if is_infinite($how_easily_amused){
die ("<b>Fatal Error:</b>
Gibbering goon. Please check into padded cell");
}else{
while ($amused_value >= 1){
laff();
//roll(); <-DO NOT run this fuction, for sake of JLNobody's nausea
$amused_value = ($how_easily_amused - $attention_span_loss++);
}
}

echo "Please sacrifice <b>"
. CountCodeFcukups($HTTP_GET_VARS['username'])
. "</b> virgin(s) to continue...";
?>


edited to make more sense, fix some typos, add edit notice & type "*%#[email protected]^"[/i]
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 09:01 pm
fuction?
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sat 6 Mar, 2004 09:10 pm
Freudian code slip?
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 7 Mar, 2004 12:39 am
Code:<?php

function ReenterDebate($topic){
unlink($root_path . "yackety-yak.php");

if isset($topic){
if ($topic = "RANDOM_TOPIC"){
srand(phase_of_moon(getdate()));
$rnd = (rand()%pow(10, 100));
$topic_possibilities = explode($idea_div, $universe);
$topic = $topic_array[$rnd];
}
start(php_debate, $topic);
}else{
echo "Select topic to continue...";
}
}

ReenterDebate();

/* I think this post is the coding equivalent of rambling. */
?>
0 Replies
 
Monger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 11:35 pm
Just read over this again, a year after the fact. ...'twas fun making up shite I didn't know how to do. Smile
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 11:39 pm
I've recently read it as well, and had fun looking back at "greener" code invention.

Incidentally, now that I know you are awake I'm gonna drop you a line.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Tue 29 Mar, 2005 11:40 pm
Got voicemail. Gimme a call sometime.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Thu 31 Mar, 2005 04:58 pm
OK. Writing a ROTFLMAO routine is funny.

Debugging your ROTFLMAO routine is just nerdy.
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

\n - Question by negikaithal
PHP question about parse_url - Question by markalanbaker1
What does \n mean in PHP Code? - Discussion by roverroad
PHP: Cookie Problem - Discussion by BobbyDouglas
Installing PHP with IIS - CGI Error - Discussion by skinnz
Displaying <?php in javascript. - Discussion by BobbyDouglas
php software - Question by aishna
 
  1. Forums
  2. » PHP Debate
Copyright © 2019 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 08/18/2019 at 07:31:54