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Is Death the Answer?

 
 
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 06:05 am
It is almost four months since my only child Eric passed away (12/23/2011). Ever since then I fell empty inside and my life doesn't seem to have a meaning. Every morning I used to get up from bed and started making breakfast and lunchpack for Eric. Then I woke him up and brought to kitchen. I enjoyed the look on his face when he saw his favorite pancakes with maple syrup. When I wake up now I have this strong feeling to go to the kitchen and start making pancakes. But then I realize that he's not here anymore. I lost the purpose to live and even if I try to fight it I don't think I'm able to stand it any more. I'm loosing the will to live.. Can someone help me? Is there anyone with same feelings??

http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/4818/ericya.jpg
 
jespah
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 06:37 am
@mandy832,
Mandy, I'm very sorry for your loss. But you need treatment from a doctor, just as surely as you would need treatment if you had broken your leg. Please, I urge you, at least speak with your family physician and tell him or her about these feelings you have, and ask about grief counseling.

Eric looks like a cute young fellow. I get the feeling he wouldn't want his Mom to give everything up. Make pancakes. Make extra. And they can be another way to remember him, and smile about how he liked them. Cry if you need to. And, I hope, get treatment, and soon.
0 Replies
 
Green Witch
 
  3  
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 06:55 am
Call any local hospital and they should be able to connect to a grief group for parents who have lost a child. It helps to know you are not alone with your tragedy. Also think about what Eric would want for you. I think he would want his mother to still experience joy and success in the world, even if he is not in his physical form to see it.
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  0  
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 08:31 am
@mandy832,
I am not going to give you any sage advice... In fact; I got nothin... I don't know how I keep myself living or my wife... Some times people just have to go through the motions of life until it starts to make sense again.. . Perhaps because we have other children who need us; but there are always children in need, so that should not be a problem... Some times, I think that my child died to give me a greater understanding of the value and meaning of life, and it is hard to think of it when your heart is bursting and your eyes are blind with tears...I can't tell you it will ever get better... It may not grow much worse... Some pains are worth feeling... Some aches are an honor to bear... And it is possible... Think of old Job in the Bible and how God took a powder on him for the sake of a wager, and the only thing that kept Job going was the fact that he knew he did not deserve the suffering he bore, as if anyone ever does... But his wife, taking the side of the Devil said: Curse God and Die... Your choice naturally, and I have spit in the face of God enough to deserve any fate, but just consider before you reject your life and the suffering that attends it whether life is but prelude, and whether the soft obsequies for a life too short to be evil might sound in time like a blessing...
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 09:25 am
Please find a grief group where you can talk with other parents who have lost a child. See how they are coping.

Pancakes. What a wonderful memory. I know there are children out there who would love to have someone make them pancakes. Find those children.

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mandy832
 
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Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 12:49 pm
I know you are right but there is so much pain inside. I will contact some professionals to help me as you said..I think they've gave me some phone number in hospital for support groups. And maybe I will try our church service..Thank you for your kind words.
And I was thinking about making an online memorial for my dear son so other family members and his friends can easily share some memories..His lost was such painful for everybody not just me. He was such a lovely boy. What do you think about that? Do you know any good websites? I have found some, but I didn't quite like any of them. Everywhere it's full of advertising.
Thank you very much for your thoughts and help and mainly for your support. Thanks.
Green Witch
 
  2  
Reply Mon 16 Apr, 2012 01:55 pm
@mandy832,
You could start a Facebook page in his memory, much easier to maintain than a website. You might also want to consider creating memorial garden around your home or at his school or starting a scholarship fund in his name. I can't imagine a greater grief than losing a child and sadly others have experienced exactly what you are going through. I strongly suggest you get involved with a group that fully understands this special pain and can help you cope with it. Wishing you peace.
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mandy832
 
  1  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 02:35 am
It's beautiful ideas..all of them is so nice. Eric would love that, he was always playing in the garden. I will prepare some nice place under the tree. But I want something for his friends and also for family members who don't have facebook. You don't think it's a good idea?
I've finally found website which a like and made memorial. http://www.memmento.com/Memorial-at-Memmento/667/Eric-Hill
It's ok if you want send him a flower too. You all have been so nice and helpful. I'm visiting group session on Friday. Thanks, thank you a lot.
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OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 02:44 am
@mandy832,
mandy832 wrote:
It is almost four months since my only child Eric passed away (12/23/2011). Ever since then I fell empty inside and my life doesn't seem to have a meaning. Every morning I used to get up from bed and started making breakfast and lunchpack for Eric. Then I woke him up and brought to kitchen. I enjoyed the look on his face when he saw his favorite pancakes with maple syrup. When I wake up now I have this strong feeling to go to the kitchen and start making pancakes. But then I realize that he's not here anymore. I lost the purpose to live and even if I try to fight it I don't think I'm able to stand it any more. I'm loosing the will to live..

Can someone help me? Is there anyone with same feelings??
Mandy, please bear in mind that 1OOOs of people have returned from death in hospitals, including myself.
Personally, I remembered only awakening in the I.C.U.,
but many people have remembered life outside of their human bodies,
and thay were very angry at being forced to resume life inside a human body.
Some of them have compared it to "being put back in jail."
It was enjoyable being outside of our human bodies.
Altho I do not remember my deaths during surgery,
I remember several out-of-body experiences that I had
while awake (most of them while I was on-the-job in court) I suggest that u try www.IANDS.org
That will raise your morale, in my opinion.

I 'm pretty sure that Eric is a lot happier now
than he was before he got out of his human body.

I like the way it was put by Deepak Chopra, M. D.
when he said that people think that we are human beings with occasional spiritual experiences,
but we are spiritual beings with occasional human experiences.

U asked: "Is Death the Answer?"
I like to compare it to the death of the exoskeleton
that is molted off by a healthy lobster, who goes along, on his way,
enjoying his life after he has abandoned it,
or
the death of the materials left behind by a butterfly
who hatches and flys up and away to enjoy his life.





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Tue 17 Apr, 2012 03:02 am
@mandy832,
U might try this website, Mandy:
http://www.biography.com/tv/i-survived-beyond-and-back/videos/

It is a weekly TV show of accounts from people
who have returned from death in hospitals.
There are many weekly episodes that u can see, if u like.

At the end of the summer 2012, August 31, to Sept. 2nd, 2012,
the annual meeting of the International Association
of Near Death Studies will meet in Phoenix, Arizona.
U can have the opportunity to meet many people
who have returned from death in hospitals
and to meet medical doctors who study the issue.

Here is their website:
http://iands.org/news/news/front-page-news/821-save-the-date-2012-iands-conference.html





David
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roseH01244
 
  0  
Reply Fri 3 Aug, 2012 12:25 pm
@mandy832,
Being a mother I can understand your loss,Indeed its a great loss, But you must consult doctor now, and search some purpose for life.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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