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Patronizing?

 
 
Letty
 
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:09 pm
How do you see it?

Often it is difficult to discern the difference between a sincere observation, a compliment, or flattery.

Men seem to be especially vulnerable, but women seem vulnerable, too.

I, for one, call them as I see them....and you?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,182 • Replies: 29
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husker
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:17 pm
You tell me girl! Wink
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Greyfan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:24 pm
I accept all favorable opinions directed at me as compliments, even though deep down I suspect they are merely flattery.

I seldom compliment others, because I fear they will suspect I am merely practicing flattery myself.

I am unfamiliar with sincere observations, but they sound nice.
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Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:26 pm
Always be sincere, even when you don't mean it.
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:42 pm
I work in PR, so throwing around compliments is part of the job. I never lie, though perhaps I overdo the praise from time to time. Can't say many people mind!
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:43 pm
Husker, I can't tell you, 'cause you must tell me. That's the point of this thread.

Ah, Craven, my young friend. Don't equivocate, leave that to the politicians.

Greyfan, Accept it; dissect it; then decide.

Someone once told me that trust was the most important aspect of a relationship. That is true, I think, but regardless, we must ultimately decide who is true and who is not, and learn to know the difference.

As a matter of record, wasn't it Humphrey Bogart that observed:

I never trust a man who doesn't drink. Razz
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 05:53 pm
Hey, D'art, you darlin' thing. As in advertising, we make ourselves believe what the sponsor believes. I did PR for a bank once. Rolling Eyes

Believe me when I say, I liked the VP, but despised the job.
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Dartagnan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 06:07 pm
Indeed, Letty. And may I say, you're looking particularly lovely today!
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 06:25 pm
and, d'art, might I say that I was always a sucker for a man in tights, except, of course, football players.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 08:32 pm
love ya, mean it.
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husker
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 08:35 pm
Letty wrote:
Husker, I can't tell you, 'cause you must tell me. That's the point of this thread.



Look in my eyes and you can see my soul Embarrassed
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 09:11 pm
Ah, a P.R./Adv. gathering! My kinda folks. Move over, I wanna seat, too.

Good P.R. is simply the art of presenting things in the most flattering way.

And I don't find flattery to be patronizing unless it's untrue.
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ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 26 Jan, 2004 09:35 pm
One shouldn't overdo it and gush around generally, but people do really like, even thrive, on being appreciated.

I know myself that one nice sentence in a week can fine tune my grouch routine into a fair state of well-being. One nice sentence that rings true, that is.
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 01:50 am
Blimey. I really like to say anything positive that I think/feel about another person.

It is true, if I say it, so I don't think it patronizing.

I like to tell their bosses, too - ie if someone has given great service, or, at work, if a client/another agency has commented favourably on another person's work, I tell them, and their "boss" too, when I get the chance.

I am no Pollyanna, or anything (like you didn't know that!) - but there is enough negative crap around without missing chances for genuine positives.

Letty - I don't get this:

"Men seem to be especially vulnerable, but women seem vulnerable, too."
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 05:55 am
I have no ear for music and can't identify national or regional accents, but I have no trouble hearing insincerity, resentment and supressed contempt. I take a particular glee in allowing the speaker to think I am bamboozled--and let them hang themselves.

Have you ever noticed that detecting lies (and fibs and fulsome flattery) is easier to do on the telephone when you are not distracted by visual cues.

Also, most people when they are shading the truth use a higher voice than their "normal speech".
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 08:11 am
Good morning, all.

Deb, that was a little vague. It seems that it is difficult for men to accept compliments, although I know some women who would rather have you say something in a candid manner, tempered with true concern, than just empty flattery. When I read the poetry that appears on this site, I really try to critique it with honest observations.

Hey, dys. There is not one person on this site, that doesn't love you, and I mean that!

Noddy, I am not one bit surprised that you can cut through the crap. I have seen that discerning side of you for a while now, my friend.

Eva, good PR is a job, and you are right. It takes a heap of talent to do that job, and have it appeal to all concerned.

Husker, not only the eyes, but the hands are a dead giveaway. <smile>
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 08:19 am
I am perfectly comfortable with a sincere compliment, but excessive, gushy flattery drives me up a wall.

I have a neighbor, who makes it her business to compliment me every time that she sees me. Ad nauseum. She is so "over the top", that I cringe evey time that I run into her. There have been numerous times that I wanted to tell her to "cut the crap", but so far, I have held my tongue.
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Letty
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 09:07 am
Hey, Phoenix. I know that feeling. What do you suppose is in her mind? Do you have something that she wants? Smile
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 09:14 am
Aha! Phoenix, she probably thinks your self esteem needs a boost. How rude!
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Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Tue 27 Jan, 2004 09:15 am
Letty- I think that this gal is extremely histrionic, and really believes that she is doing the right thing. I also think that she is the type (and I have reason to believe this) who examines EVERYTHING very carefully. If she weren't so annoying, she would be pitiful!
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