How often do you let the opinion of others, real or perceive

Cut the ****, Husker. You ain't gettin' his Bud Light!

I just want to state for the record that I really hate when people PM me positive confirmation about something I said.

I really don't care if they agree and really don't want a PM in my inbox just to tell me that.

If he's into "lite" then I have to rethink it!! I like a dark beer.

Unfortunately, they didn't do the commercial on the dark beer, just the light.

Egad -- I do hate lite beer of any sort.

I like ale.

I don't hold back for fear of being judged all that often - less so as time goes on. I hold back more often for the sake of harmony, or not to hurt someone - or because I don't want, at that time, to have to spend hours defending my views, or because it is pointless to say anything.

In real life, especially at work, I would generally be considered the person most likely to say the unspeakable, if I consider it needs to be said, or if it is funny...but I am prone to the odd outbreak of wussishness.

Interesting responses here since I last checked.

Jo, like you, revealing personal stories has become easier for me--it does seem strange that it takes place on such an open forum, but the people I've met in person, including you, have embooldened me and have provided an outlet to talk about things I've seldom talked about before.

I think the diversity and, for the most part, civility of the people on a2k make it a creative and supportive forum for personal revelations.

Roger, that is probalby the way most feel, even if they don't admit it.

Drom, Exactly!!

Montana--I have felt you have been judged unfairlyand that is one of the reasons I started this thread. I'm glad you put yourself out there as lots can be learned about human nature if we are all open to different lifestyles without being judgemental--but that is the problem; it is futile to ask people to be nonjudgemental--it is such a part of human nature--so I especially appreciate those who are open and honest, even knowing they will take a few hits.

Edgar, there will always be parts of us that remain unknown to anyone else. Those intimate places that we are hardly aware of that are integral to who we are. In a strange way, it seems vital that they remain untouched.

Frank, your attitude will always keep a2k lively.

Letty, my friend, I too wear my heart on my sleeve at times, but I'm such a tough old bird now, that I seldom get hurt anymore. BTW, your post on the promiscuity thread was by far the best. So many are willing to cast the first stone. I loved you for offering one to any who would care to use it.

Fishin,' well yeah, that's why I hold back most tof the time. From what I know of you, I doubt that you would hold back or alter responses because of that others might think.

Soz, you are one of a2k's treasures. Your comments are matter of fact, not really judgemental in the sort of personal attack I have seen from many others.
I have spoken up on some topics, but usually politics, etc., not the more personal, intimate topics because they are so incrredibly complex and because it is never possible to know or understand the motives, background, situation at the time, or so many other factors included in any personal social action.

Roberta, I'm lucky enough to know you well enough to fully understand and appreciate your post. Confrontation is something I also truly dislike. Live and let live as long as adults are involved and no one is taken advantage of or hurt. Consenting adults pretty much covers most of the more personal threads.

Husker, yes, Craven is remarkable and I loved his response.

OK Craven, we are on notice not to PM you if we agree with what you posted.

Bunny, I always suspected there was a little wussishness hidden inside that ferocious bunny exterior. Yes, sometimes it just isn't worth the time or effort to reply, knowing it will continue far beyond one's interest if a response is made.

This kind of forum is fairly new to most of us. The intimacy and openess is a wonderful way to understand each other and a2k is one of the best in terms of being monitored so that we can depend on receiving respect for our opinion--in most cases.

I hope it has helped some of the shiest posters to become more assertive and to learn that good people come from any imaginable background or country. Please keep you posts coming while developing a thicker skin. Most of us appreciate each other for who and what we are, differences and all.

I have been searching, Diane, for someone who might be called Judge Knott. Can't find him anywhere.

goodnight, dear people.

From florida

Although we seem to be speaking primarily about judgment here on a2k, let me just say that recently, I had a conversation with Mr. Onyx about this very same thing.....He feels a tad 'embarrassed' by me because he gets all shined up to go to church on Sunday mornings - I do not. I just as well wear what I wear to work (my office clothes) as anything else. I simply don't care...I'm going only to hear whatever the preacherman has to say that sunday (sometimes, I must admit, I am not even listening) but mostly I go to enjoy the Praise and Worship, and I go because of the spiritual food I get for myself while I'm there. nevermind that...he is so concerned about what the churchgoers are thinking because I'm not 'made up' or 'dressed up' that we got into an argument about that the other day. to keep peace, I submitted to his will and got all spiffied up...he can expect not to see that again for another 6 months or so.

When I was younger, I was very wrapped up in what people though, and I've come a long way from that. So, in that respect, I have to even try to make it a conscious effort to be unconcerned about the thoughts about me..... Sometimes, every blue moon, I'll admit to feeling a little concern about one thing or another, but on the whole...I am really unconcerned about what the world thinks of me. I have enough trouble figuring out what I think of myself at times, without worrying about what someone else thinks.

Now, as far as A2K goes....sometimes, I'll admit, I'm a little pricked by a response to a post of something I've said - but I deal with it. Like Eoe said, if you can't take it, dont' post it. I watch a lot of threads here, and while I don't post in them, it's mainly because I might not know enough about it. Rarerly, if ever, do i skip posting because of the response that might come. For instance, any post of any thread draws the attn of the "God?? Whatever!!" crowd, which doesn't bother me....but it forces explanation most of thet time, and I rarely feel it necessary to explain anything about myself.

I do love it here, and I look forward to getting to know all of you better and all that comes with that. If it comes with being judged sometimes.....

BRING ON THE JUDGMENT.....what's it to me anyway?

Damn Craven, I just about to....oh nevermind.

I care what people think, but not about everything.
If I write something, I try to stand by it, if not, I will concede. Life is a learning game, and I'm all about what people can teach me. I always found the teachers were better if they liked you, so I try not to offend.

Thank you very much Diane {{{hugs to you and Dys}}} :-D

Thanks for the kind words, Diane. I greatly admire your generosity of spirit. Dys is a lucky fella. :-)

Sweet Letty, you are a prize.

Onyxelle, you have added to the quality of a2k--I'm so glad you won't let a few bad manners from some posters hold you back.

Ceili, you said "Life is a learning game." That's what it's all about as far as I'm concerned. Like you, I try not to offend, mainly because I really hate scenes, but i have to admit to enjoying some posters who can state strong opinions without regard to the opinion of others. They are the ones who can rip a weak argument to peices without hurting the poster. To me, that is a rare skill that very few will ever have--the ability to show the weakness without ever making it personal--I think it also includes a wonderful sense of humor that had no cruelty. Actually, that is one reason I don't enjoy much of the current comedy.

Thank you {{{SOZ}}}.
I guess what offends me most is the need to win an argument by somehow hurting the other person.