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How long is it ok to not be in a relationship?

Forums: Single Life, Relationships, Love
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inbetweener
 
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 07:59 pm
I'm 21 years old and never had a girlfriend. I have plenty of friends that are girls, but no girlfriends. 21 is still really young I know, but I still feel like I'm missing out on an important part of my development into an adult. Most of my friends are either in a relationship or have been in 1 or more in the past. Sometimes i get this feeling that it will be like this forever, my friends all married and me all by myself. Do you think my situation is a problem? For a while I was really stressing about it, but for the past year or so I don't feel the need to find a girlfriend as much. Don't get me wrong, I still would like one if it came up naturally. It just seems like everytime a girl is interested in me, I'm not in her. And every girl I'm ever interested in, gives me the classic "we're better off as friends" line. Maybe I'm overreacting I dont know. What do you think? Should I be on the hunt hardcore, or is it still early and I can relax?
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Type: Question • Score: 10 • Views: 2,661 • Replies: 27
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OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:15 pm
@inbetweener,
At age 21, of course it is early and u can relax.
0 Replies
 
plainoldme
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:18 pm
Keep doing things you enjoy doing. Trying to make life happen is always wrong. Are you still in college?
0 Replies
 
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:20 pm
@inbetweener,
hunting for a girl never works.

enjoy life, have fun, and you will find a girl noticing you...

oh to be 21 again...
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  -2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:23 pm
@inbetweener,
U r also old enuf to adopt fonetic spelling, as soon as POSSIBLE.
That 's the important thing.
Rockhead
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 08:27 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
that's sure to get him a girl, dave.

good thinking...
OmSigDAVID
 
  -1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 09:37 pm
@Rockhead,
Rockhead wrote:
that's sure to get him a girl, dave.

good thinking...
I 've never known it to fail.
0 Replies
 
wmwcjr
 
  2  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 10:10 pm
You guys are funny. Smile
0 Replies
 
laughoutlood
 
  1  
Reply Tue 22 Mar, 2011 10:15 pm
@inbetweener,
hunt the hard core and report back if you have any further questions
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 12:01 am
@inbetweener,
It's OK to not be in a relationship for however long it suits, inbetweener.
There aren't really any right or wrong lengths of time.
Quote:
What do you think? Should I be on the hunt hardcore, or is it still early and I can relax?

Relax & enjoy yourself.
0 Replies
 
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 05:51 am
I disagree.

You have to decide that you may have to put a little effort into finding someone.
(Girls are not going to knock on your door)

What are you currently doing to make this happen?
CoastalRat
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 05:54 am
@PUNKEY,
Girls have always come around knocking on my door, Punkey. Of course, come to think of it, they were always girl scouts selling cookies. Hmm, maybe he should be more proactive.
inbetweener
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 03:27 pm
Haha I really enjoyed everyones input. Yes I am in college right now. I also work part time so it is kind of hard to make time for "hunting". I still go out on the weekends but its to hang out with friends (most of which are all coupled up already) usually. Approaching random girls at school or while I'm out was never one of my strengths, but I try. Would I say I'm giving 100% effort? No not exactly. I really don't mind being single, I just didn't know how long being single was too long. After getting asked if I was gay by my own mother, I thought it was becoming a problem.
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 03:28 pm
@CoastalRat,
Now that u mention it,
that happened to me too:
2 Chinese girls came to my office, ostensibly selling small-size artwork,
but in reality, it turned out that thay were looking for husbands for Chinese girls.





David
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 03:32 pm
@inbetweener,
U might also be interested in researching
approach-avoidance reactions (qua asking them out).

It blew my mind when I found out about that
in first year psychology class.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 03:51 pm
@inbetweener,
Can your friends set you up, maybe? Do you meet people in your classes? (College is one of the very easiest times to meet people -- I'm sure online dating sites have changed this somewhat but still, I don't think it gets much easier, so that's something to take advantage of while you can.)

I think it's fine to be single for as long as you want to be, though. If you don't feel any particular urgency to have a girlfriend right now, I don't think you need to push it.

inbetweener wrote:
After getting asked if I was gay by my own mother, I thought it was becoming a problem.


Smile
0 Replies
 
contrex
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 03:55 pm
@Rockhead,
Rockhead wrote:

that's sure to get him a girl, dave.

good thinking...


He can say to a girl,

"wood U like to fuk?"
0 Replies
 
inbetweener
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 04:52 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
exactly

1 of my many problems
PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 07:42 pm
@inbetweener,
There is no "right" amount of time for someone not becoming involved.

Do you really want to? I think you do, otherwise you would not have asked.

Become more mindful of where and what you are doing. There are probably lots of girls around, but you are not seeing them. Pause, and take a look at your surroundings.

PS. You can tell mom the right one has not come into your life.
That usually quiets them.


OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Wed 23 Mar, 2011 08:03 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
There is no "right" amount of time for someone not becoming involved.

Do you really want to? I think you do, otherwise you would not have asked.

Become more mindful of where and what you are doing.
There are probably lots of girls around, but you are not seeing them. Pause, and take a look at your surroundings.

PS. You can tell mom the right one has not come into your life.
That usually quiets them.



Tell her that until THEN
u will remain IMMUNE from divorce.





David
0 Replies
 
 

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