Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 03:42 pm
Holy ****.

So my lovely wife made some chicken soup with jalapenos this afternoon while I was watching the Packers make the Vikings their young Asian manservants. She joined me for the final minutes, and after the game whistle blew at last, things got intimate. Because nothing is as romantic as a Packer victory.

You see where this is going. I don't know if there were, like, jalapeno seeds in her teeth, or if she didn't wash her hands, or whatever. But holy **** I was double over holding my joint for ten minutes. And even now I'm not completely right.

Surely this has happened to someone else, right?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 15 • Views: 2,758 • Replies: 49

 
littlek
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 03:44 pm
um. no.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 04:24 pm
@Gargamel,
Don't be so quick to blame the old lady. Look on the bright side. It could be a symptom of prostate problems.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 05:13 pm
@Gargamel,
Yes, but it wasn't jalapenos, it was a European cream for back pain that gets
really really hot . I swear I did wash my hands before touching his merchandise...
0 Replies
 
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 06:04 pm
@Gargamel,
Ask her how her hands are feeling. If she cut up those peppers by hand, her hands should be burning for a day or so, too. Washing your hands adfter cutting up HOT peppers does little to get the 'fire' off.
0 Replies
 
chai2
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 06:13 pm
I once shot hand lotion up my nose while shopping in Walgreens.

wow wee that smarts.

Another time?

I was holding an open tube of BenGay, and my cat simi came up to sniff it, just as I was moving my hand.
A tiny tiny dot of it got on her nose, which she immediately licked.

Christ Almighty, the aftermath wasn't pretty.

A jalepeno dick is nothing compared to BenGay tongue.
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 06:21 pm
@Gargamel,
Gargamel wrote:
while I was watching the Packers make the Vikings their young Asian manservants


If Gustav sees your post, he will say you deserved it.
0 Replies
 
Fido
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 07:08 pm
@Gargamel,
It is only gonnorea... Nothing syphilus won't make small by comparison... Maybe wife does not like sports as much as you...Or you as much as sport...
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 07:42 pm
Why is this thread generating ads for brain injury?
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 07:46 pm
@wandeljw,
wandeljw wrote:

Why is this thread generating ads for brain injury?

I'm not getting those. Think about personally targeted advertising wandel
wandeljw
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 07:49 pm
@dadpad,
dadpad wrote:

wandeljw wrote:

Why is this thread generating ads for brain injury?

I'm not getting those. Think about personally targeted advertising wandel


Thanks.

I thought it was some confusion regarding definitions of head.
msolga
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 08:09 pm
@Gargamel,
Quote:
Holy ****

Look on the bright side, Garg.
Things could have been far worse.
You could have rubbed your eyes, too!

Quote:
Surely this has happened to someone else, right?

Not that I've heard.
But then, you wouldn't exactly rush around telling loads of people, would you? Smile

msolga
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 08:14 pm
@msolga,
But what I'd really like to know: what was the verdict on the chicken soup?
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 08:16 pm
I get an ad for acne fighting foam...

oh, I cut jalapenos, etc. all the time. I try not to stick my un-soap and water washed finger in my eye.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 08:17 pm
@wandeljw,
Could be. I'm getting the same ads.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 09:02 pm
@msolga,
Jalapeno eye is terribe, terrible I tell you!

I had invited a newish boyfriend to the house for dinner and I was cooking Mexican food. I went to put my contacts in a POW! Jalapeno eye.

My eye swelled shut immediately so I had to wait for newish boyfriend to show up and pry my eye open and dig out the contact.

How romantic!

I never ever ever wore contacts again.

Maybe you should try drinking lots of milk, Garg.

Or treat your wife to some ice cream.

Good luck!
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 09:07 pm
@boomerang,
Quote:
...I was cooking Mexican food. I went to put my contacts in a POW! Jalapeno eye.

OH!!! Shocked
That would have been agony, boomerang!
O my goodness, you poor thing!
0 Replies
 
wandeljw
 
  2  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 10:25 pm
Good news, Gargamel. Joe Nation and Thomas will be running a marathon to support medical research for your problem.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  3  
Reply Sun 21 Nov, 2010 11:06 pm
So what was really weird was the part where I was just kneeling alone naked in the kitchen and she had to find a way to kill the time until I was right again. Not sure exactly what she was up to while I filled the apartment with my cries of agony. But I was both in incredible pain and particularly aware she was listening to me whimper things like, "Holy ****-**** this is intense."

Of course I told her, "This better be the best ******* soup ever." It wasn't. But it was pretty ******* good.

And my joint is alright. Functional. It didn't retreat into the depths of my crotch when later we gave it another shot.

Now Willie Nelson is singing Georgia On My Mind. I'm writing thank you notes. A pleasant late Sunday evening. All is well.
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Nov, 2010 01:47 am
@Gargamel,
Quote:
...Now Willie Nelson is singing Georgia On My Mind. I'm writing thank you notes. A pleasant late Sunday evening. All is well.

Very Happy
And that's the main thing, isn't it? All ending well. You survived the ordeal.
I'm so pleased to hear this!

Do you plan to have any meals, involving chilies, in the near future?
0 Replies
 
 

 
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