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Fri 12 Nov, 2010 08:06 pm
Ok, I wrote this in half an hour or so the night after my friend got beat up by 4 youths (my female cousin was pushed off a railway platform) and the same night the same 4 youths beat up a 60+ year old man. I am not a lyricist, but needed to get some things off my chest so decided to start a band that will be a raw punk/oi style with lyrics about pride of my town (Leeton), of my country, work and the good and bad experiences here...
I know it's not that great (although I love the chorus) but I'd like more opinions on this so criticism is fine but be nice ha
WHAT IS LEETON COMING TO?
They beat up an old man,
what pussy scum they were.
Four on one in the dark of night,
the f*cking little girls.
They then beat up my mate,
with two chicks by his side.
Pushed one to the ground,
the pussies better hide!
What is Leeton coming to?
This really makes me sick.
Once a peaceful quiet town,
now run by these pind*cks.
We need to work together,
to save our pride filled town,
so say it loud and let them know,
they'll never keep us down!
Only one was 18 plus.
What f*cking kind of law is this?
The others got off scot free.
It really is bullsh*t!
If they beat these kids up,
and punched in self defence,
they'd be the ones in jail.
What a f*cking load of nonsense!
What is Leeton coming to?
This really makes me sick.
Once a peaceful quiet town,
now run by these pind*cks.
We need to work together,
to save our pride filled town,
so say it loud and let them know,
they'll never keep us down!
What is Leeton Coming to?
What is Leeton Coming to?
What is Leeton coming to?
This really makes me sick.
Once a peaceful quiet town,
now run by these pind*cks.
We need to work together,
to save our pride filled town,
so say it loud and let them know,
they'll never keep us down!
@Combat86,
I'd need to hear the music to be able to tell you whether or not the language works.
I respect your effort, but I suggest you refine the language. As aidan said, I would need to hear it to judge further.
as i said, it is beginner stages of a punk/oi band. I am not a lyricist. There was no help in eitehr comment