What is the MOST offensive question that you have ever been asked?

Someone I didn't know very well once asked me if I would 'breed' with him. It made me feel like he was looking at me as some sort of animal.

I found that very offensive.

"When did you stop having sex with your dog?" I was so offended. I have never stopped! Poor Buster! The very idea! Then I took the question literally and answered "12:14 PM".

Why did your mother tell you not to tell anyone you are adopted?

When I was ten years old, my mother told me I was adopted in 1930. She also told me not to tell anyone that I was adopted. Being excited about the information, the first thing I did was to tell my friends I was adopted. When my mother found out what I had done, she was very angry and severely punished me because I had shamed her.

I always wondered why my mother was ashamed about adopting me.

BBB

Maybe she thought it highlighted a perceived inadequacy in herself. Or maybe she was brought up to think those things were none of the neighbours' business. Or maybe she secretly thought someone else's child is second-class compared to your own.

Who knows? Did you never ask her that?

My feelings were so hurt that I didn't want to know anything more about her reasons.

BBB

How old are you? Just flat out asking that is a little stupid. I said, "That's how old I am."

She had presented you as her own true child all those years, and you made her out the liar.

She probably wasn't ashamed of adopting you, she was proud of having a kid. She had showed you around all those years as her own. Can you imagine what she went through when all the neighbors found you were adopted?

You didn't know my mother. Your opinion does not match her behavior.

BBB

Not most offensive, but most shaming...

At 17, this really nice guy showed interest in me. What really delighted me was that he was absoultely gorgeous. It made me feel really good about myself that someone so handsome wanted to spend time with me (I did appreciate how nice he was)
He was the type of handsome that even other men could acknowledge he was good looking.

My father asked me "What do you think a guy that looks like that wants with someone that looks like you?" Implying all he must want me for was easy sex.

I was a virgin when I met him, and was a virgin long after I dated him for that summer.

My father was a horrible person.

I think, yes, that was a horrible thing for a father to say to his daughter.

He sounds like it, Chai.

Aiii, I can understand that, BBB. I hope it didn't last throughout your life, the feeling, I mean. That would have been a waste indeed.

Ibstubro's take on this was my first thought, as logical.
But I too didn't know your mother.
I'm sorry about that kind of rejection.

((chai))

I cut off all contact with my family when I was 22 years old. I decided I would not allow them to continue to hurt me any longer.

I was a precocious child with a lot of talent and creativity. My mother told me she deliberately tried to give me an inferiority complex so I wouldn't out-shine her two sons, resulting in an insecure child. Being raped by two men when I was four years old didn't help.

I never fit into my adopted family for a good reason. I was adopted (as I was told later) for my deceased birth parents $5,000 estate, which was a lot of money in 1930; my mother also wanted me to help her control son's clinging problems; she thought my presence would help her get pregnant again, etc, etc. She never loved me and made it clear to me. She beat me so badly that even my teachers noticed the welts on my body. For example, after she told me I was adopted, if I didn't get the dishes washed and dried within the time she allowed, she said she would send me back to the orphanage. More insecurity.

There is a lot more abuse, but enough is enough information for you to understand.

Now you know why I wrote in one of the "God" threads that the reason I started wondering if God really existed because of the hypocrisy I noticed in my so-called christian family.

I guess I shouldn't have responded to your questions and you wouldn't have had to read this diatribe. They didn't have child protection laws at that time and they didn't have child counselors. I've had to work it out on my own, maybe not successfully. I hope this doesn't shock my daughter, Butrflynet.

BBB

One thing I forgot to tell you when I decided to stand up for myself when I was sixteen.. One day, my mother was going to beat me again. I came up to her nose to nose and told her if she ever hit me again, I would hit her back as hard as I could. She never hit me again.

Tough girl, I learned to be!

BBB

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through all that, but obviously the toughness has served you well.

It always does.

Like you, I cut all ties to my (biological) parents at about the age of 21, and I never looked back. People say, "Oh, that's so sad! or "That's not right, you should patch things over with them."

Unless you have been a child in an abusive situation with selfish adults, you cannot understand the tears it causes in your psyche. I simply tell people "If there are people in your life who are miserable and miserable to you, you are better off without them, regardless of who they are." My father has passed and my mother has made overtures since--dangles of scraps of her beloved money. 30 years, and she still believes she can buy my attention.

ibstubro, you understand.

I made an unannounced visit to my parent's home in my mid-forties. I spent an hour with them, which confirmed my decision to cut off all contact was the right thing for me.

BBB