Do people talk to you?

People have always talked to me - but I always talk to people. I learned that from my mother. She'd have told the check-out girl her whole life story in her sweet little southern accent by the time she'd paid for her groceries- and this was in suburban New Jersey. I'd watch as at first, they'd ignore her, and then they'd start to nod, and then they just couldn't resist her and they'd start to smile and talk back.
I was just on a plane with her and we had to land in Chicago and Kansas City and each time she'd greet the person taking the aisle seat and learn everything about him. She'd say, 'Hello - how are you today? My name is Juanita and this is my daughter, Rebecca...as the person just looked at her sort of dumbfounded- no one acts like that on planes. But she did and made some new friends.

But the woman I sat with on the flight home and I are now e-mail buddies. She told me all about her 80 year old Dad who she was going to visit in Vermont to meet his new lady-friend. Her mom had died two years ago and her dad went to this ice-cream social to have something to do and this 78 year old lady called him up and at first, he didn't want to go out with her because he said she was, 'Geographically undesireable', which meant she lived more than 20 miles away from her dad and he didn't like to drive at night....' We laughed and laughed and I smiled remembering my growing up years with her - she grew up in suburban Connecticut - the other side (of NYC) we used to call it, and it was lovely to have someone to talk and commiserate with about the recent and sudden death of a dearly-loved parent- (her mom - my dad).

I have an English friend who is very taken aback by how much people talk to me and tell me. His joke is that he can go to the bathroom and by the time he comes back, I'll know the birthdates and social security numbers of the people at the table next to mine.

I think people are fascinating. I just can't see not trying to get to know as many as I can. I think it's one of the most enjoyable things about life.

I'm just average, common too
I'm just like him, the same as you
I'm everybody's brother and son
I ain't different than anyone
It ain't no use a-talking to me
It's just the same as talking to you.

It's sort of like traveling. Every person is another country. I love hearing all the histories and stories.

oh believe me, we'd BOTH be talking, and hopefully laughing.

wow.

I lived in wisconsin twice in my life, and I couldn't get anyone to give me the time of day.

seriously, I felt very socially isolated there, and not very welcome.

Yes, people talk to me if my guard is down. If I forget to put on my leave-me-alone Noo Yawk face. Why do I want to be left alone? It depends on the circumstances. I don't mind someone talking to me on the bus. How long can it last? But not in the hospital waiting room. That can last for hours!

On the street I am often asked for directions (this has been going on since I became an adult). I don't think I look especially approachable or "nice." I think it's because I look like I might know where something is.

So, do people (strangers) approach me and talk?

Being a somewhat sourfaced and sullen male with slightly thinning here, nope.

Do you start up conversations with people in say the post office line? Or the grocery store? Maybe these people get some kind of very open minded vibe from you.

I wonder how much of this approachability is based on the gender of the person being approached. And perhaps the gender of the person making the social approach just might be an issue as well.

Off the cuff, my kneejerk reaction is that strangers are more likely to approach friendly and affable appearing females. Also, I would garner a guess that females take the stranger role approaching other strangers to make a connection more so then their male counterparts.

Does this hold any anecdotal reality according your perceptions Linkat?

Myself? I can be shy. Really love dogs. Yet I find it difficult to even spit out things like "that's a cute dog you have there" when I walk by a person with a friendly pooch.

I think most people hold that invisible ... not 'leave me alone' barrier to their posture but an obliviousness that I bet I too exude that making such social contact less likely to occur.

tend to spend time in rural settings, folks talk all the time, i can take or leave it but i'm always pleasant

I will occasionally breach the barrier when it comes to dogs.

Walking along. I see the cutest dog ever. I walk past. I go back. "I gotta tell ya. That's the cutest dog I've ever seen." We start talking.

I'm in store. I see a woman with two basenjis. Gotta say something--and I do. We start talking.

Sometimes I start up conversations in line and so forth.

But more often people just start spilling their guts to me without any prodding.

When I used to take the train, I would be reading a book and often times when some one sat next to me, they'd start a conversation while I was reading or ask a question. Usually (because I love to read), I would answer the question quickly and shortly and still some of people would persist - after a little bit, I'd just put the book down and talk - and this would be all walks of life - old/young (other than children of course) male and female.

Now after driving and parking - there is a good walk still to work from where I park, I've had people talk as we are walking in the same direction, ask for help for directions, ask for use of my cell phone. I doubt I do have a sour look on my face and I certainly do not have thinning hair.

I do think I appear as an unthreatening woman - maybe a mom sort of person. And instinctively I do try to help people out even without them asking if they appear to need help - some how that must show in my appearance.

People don't usually strike up conversations with me. I am told I look intimidating.

People do start conversations with me, or me them, say in grocery store lines. Even this week, a guy started talking to me about the weather as I was waiting for my genoa salami to be thin sliced. I responded, it's cooler now, time to make some pizza - and so on.
Y'all know what I look like...

People talked to me easily in Italy, italians asking me (me?) directions. Must have been that famous-to-me black suit, so I might have looked like a non tourist, yet not quite from italy, too unstylish for someone actually from Rome et al. Maybe I have a roving curiosity type face, seem to be awake.

This happens less now that I'm a little off balance in space from recent eye stuff, but it still happens.

The worst time was many decades ago when I took the Greyhound from San Diego to Santa Monica (a couple of hours). The woman next to me started talking about the Lennon Sisters (they were a staple of the Lawrence Welk show, which I hated..) I was nicer back then than now, and arrived at the bus depot exhausted.

The best time wasn't even talk - I was standing outside of Sant' Ignacio church in Rome studying the piazza, away from some clutch of people. (The facade of the church works with the shapes of the buildings surrounding the piazza, all but the church in some glorious colors (yellow, umbers, golds, if I remember). A handsome older man (I remember the yellow sweater) rode by on his bicycle, waving directly at me and smiling. Yes, that's all, but when you're solo on a long trip, ya' notice this kind of thing.

osso, Remembering being in Europe. People asked me for directions there as well. Don't know why. This happened especially in Italy and Paris. Go figure.

All the time! I get asked for directions a lot (well, I live in a tourist town),
things at the groceries and so on. Once they hear that I have an accent then they
really go to town.....

You're in luck (or maybe not) since your english speech is easily clear, at least to me. I don't remember any disconnect, unless I didn't hear you, and that's my ears, not your voice.

CJ has a very definite accent.

Oy. I hate the new google images.

I scurried through the part of my photos that is in order and couldn't find the one with the piazza S. Ignacio photo(s), that I remember clearly. Not that anyone asked, just that I'd enjoy seeing it/them, and remembering the bicyclist with the yellow sweater, not photo'd as I was busy looking. Where the hell is it? Probably in some special place. Looked the piazza up on google images, and what? Sorry, it's a bunch of scattered junk of different sizes about a well regarded piazza/church, or scattered junk about other stuff. I suppose I should look on flickr.

On CJ's 'accent' (my ex would have said dialect, and I argue on that to this day) - I lived some years a long time ago in a sort of german irish neighborhood, maybe I'm used to it. Took a semester of german a million years ago. Any trouble I have understanding Thomas is related to my hearing - maybe there is a mini lapse, but not much. But, I have trouble understanding Walter and have to stare at him intensely to follow, probably because of his accent, relatively soft voice, and my hearing. Plus the obvious, CJane and Thomas live in the U.S.

Used to...even when I was a kid, adults, I mean.

It was quite overwhelming when I was little...and even as a teen, because they would talk about REALLY adult problems. It felt kind of a privilege, but could also be a bit much.

Since I decided it made sense to use whatever this thing is in a career, I have gradually learned to not exude whatever it is much in my social life, because I don't really want MORE of such talk from strangers after work.

I'll admit, I'm puzzled, and somewhat sad, at this "barrier" talk.

Why exactly are some of you afraid to peep over this barrier?

I'm not talking about people who commence this non-stop diahrrea of the mouth that some strangers can (and do) lay on you.

Most of the time conversing with strangers is not only pleasant, but leaves me with a renewed feeling of the interconnectedness of, not only people, but Everything.

If anyone looks ornry, unwelcoming and generally unhappy, it's me.

Maybe that's why people end up opening up. As soon as we start to talk, they realize looks can be deceiving.

Oh, I'm not Miss Mary Sunshine. To be honest, I really don't get that much out of a drive by friendship when it's with someone who is of the ilk that can't say **** if their mouth was full of it.
Get real man, let's have an off the wall sharing of opinions.

I've even been known to make stuff up to make the conversation more interesting. Not more than a handful of times, but I have. Why not?
That's the great thing about talking to strangers. You're probably not going to see them again.

Me: Oh yeah, when I was in my 20's I was a prostitute. Really rough life. Glad I came to my senses.
That'll keep the conversation going.

Last time I flew, my husband and I had the horrible experience of missing a flight (airlines fault - we had 15 minutes between flights, our flight was late coming in, and they moved the gate clear over to the other side of the airport.)

Anyway, Neither of us slept for over 36 hours, stuck in the terminal. When we Finally got a flight going home I was totally spent, irritable, and couldn't think straight.

I'm sitting in a window seat, eyes glazed over (I can't sleep on an airplane), when the person next me asked me if I wanted her apple, from the airline snack.
I wearily turned my head, intending to just give a blank stare. My eyes met the eyes of this 14 year old girl, whose soul was just laid bare of her face, showing she was just trying to be kind, and not wasteful. "I like apples, but they hurt my braces"
I learned that this wasn't her first flight, but it was her first trip, and she'd flown the first time just 5 days before.
She told me she was from Mitchell, South Dakota, "Of course you've heard of the Mitchell Corn Palace"

no, I haven't...

"Really?! Well, it's very famous. It's made entirely from corn. My cousin works there. She's 19."

We ended up talking about her concerns about the environment, her school, boys "I don't have a boyfriend......yet"

She said she would be landing at home at 10:30, and her mother was going to pick her up.
"She's probably going to make me go to school from the airport....rolling eyes"

Oh, I don't think she'll do that, the day will be half over, and she hasn't seen you for a week.

"Well, my DAD wouldn't make me go to school, but my mom will......well, she might want me to go....Maybe not."

She looked pensive for a moment, and leaned in close to share this secret...."you know what I'd really like? There's a Carino's italian restaurant in Sioux Falls. I hope I can get my mom to take me to lunch there. That would be so great"

By this time, more than an hour later, I was wide awake, and looking at this bright pretty young girl that thought getting spaghetti for lunch with her mom would just be the greatest thing. I thought how little it really takes to make someone happy.
I told her that she could tell her mom that I said she should definately take her to Carino's.
She did this little pressing her lips together and giving an affirmative little nod, like "yes, I'll do it!"

My leg of the flight landed first, and I told her I would definately visit the Corn Palace one day.
She told me I would love it.

Now look what I would have missed if I'd had some barrier up.