@Mike W,
(First, this post assumes you meant a Christian church - if not, it may not apply)
Mike - I've been in a similar spot before, so maybe I can help you out...
Quote:Is it not enough to believe and even study the bible on your own
No - if you are on a deserted island, maybe. God says all over the Bible that two are better than one, three better than two, etc. God says that for several reasons, but the most relevant to your question is that we can get some weird ideas by ourselves. It doesn't matter if we are the smartest person alive - our experiences shape our perception, and no one is as logical as they think they are. For that reason we need other believers to balance and shed light.
God hooks each of us up with certain spiritual gifts like ministry, evangelism, worship, etc. Each of those gifts will shine a little light on the mystery that is the Lord. Going it alone leaves too many shadows. That's when I run into things.
Why We (Should) Attend Church
Attending church is important not because it is some "rule" handed down, and certainly not because God wants us to be miserable (because we'll always be dissapointed or angered by people in church - they're sinners, too).
Church is really meant to be a delivery system where God directs his flock through his word. We then "take it and run" by joining a small group where you meet with a group of believers/friends to act out God's commands.
Get in a Small Group
If you've never heard of a small group, or if you are having consistent problems getting plugged into the churches, you are probably in the wrong church. It seems a bit strange/intimidating/downright scary at first, but you will grow exponentially by finding a good small group. You may go through a couple before you find the right one, or it may be the first one.
Finding a Church
It seems from your letter that you may be relatively new to the faith. Don't sweat it - finding a church home is a very common problem.
- The first thing I recommend is to pray that God will lead you to a new church.
- Have faith that he will do so - because he will.
- Be willing to jump denominations. I don't mean going to a Hindu church if you're a Protestant, but God really doesn't give a rip about all the denominations of Christianity out there. Just make sure that they preach Jesus Christ as the savior.
In closing, don't sweat the "judgemental" Christians. Remember church is about our relationship with the Lord. Abandoning church because of people gives the devil just what he wants - us being separated from our Father. People will always be jerks, but I've found that much of the judgemental Christian meme is really just that.
My prayers are with you, brother - be blessed.