Middle Aged Crazies and Beyond

I WISH I WAS EIGHTEEN AGAIN

In a bar in Memphis an old man walked in
I thought he was out of his head
Being a young man I just laughed it off
I couldn't get into what he said

Oh I'll never again turn a young lady's head
Or go running off into the wind
I'm three quarters home from the start to the end
I wish I was eighteen again

Oh I wish I was eighteen again
And going where I've never been
Where old folks and old oaks
Just stand tall and pretend
I wish I was eighteen again

Now time turns the pages and life goes so fast
The years turn the black hair to grey
I talk to the young folk but they don't understand
The things this old man has to say

Oh I wish I was eighteen again
And going where I've never been
Where old folks and old oaks
Just stand tall and pretend
I wish I was eighteen again

recorded by Jerry Lee Lewis, also George Burns

TOO OLD TO CUT THE MUSTARD

When I was young I had an automobile
I'd scoot myself right under that wheel
I had to fight the gals off with a stick
But now they say "Oh he makes me sick"

He's too old too old
He's too old to cut the mustard anymore
He's a gettin too old
He's done got too old
He's too old to cut the mustard anymore

When I was young I had lots of pep
I could get around I didn't need no help
But since I'm old and a gettin grey
The people all look at me and say

He's too old too old
He's too old to cut the mustard anymore

WHO'S GONNA PLAY THIS OLD PIANO?

Who's gonna play this ol' piana
After I'm not here
Who's gonna sing these sad songs to you
Cause your eyes to fill with tears
Who's gonna keep these ivories talking
Like Jerry's doing now
Who's gonna play this old piano
After my last bow
When that final curtain calls
Someday Lord it will
Who'll take my place on that stage
When everything is all hushed and still
Who's gonna touch these keys with feeling
Really get to you
Who's gonna play this old piano
When my time is through
The Killer ain't through yet though baby

We've laughed and you know we've cried together
Done a million shows
So I kinda think like I
Have every right to know
Who's gonna keep this music going
Who will carry on
Who's gonna play this old piano
After the Killer's gone
- Jerry Lee Lewis

Who'll walk me down to church when I'm sixty years of age
When the ragged dog they gave me has been ten years in the grave
And señorita play guitar, play it just for you
My rosary has broken and my beads have all slipped through

You've hung up your great coat and you've laid down your gun
You know the war you fought in wasn't too much fun
And the future you're giving me holds nothing for a gun
I've no wish to be living sixty years on

Yes I'll sit with you and talk let your eyes relive again
I know my vintage prayers would be very much the same
And Magdelena plays the organ, plays it just for you
Your choral lamp that burns so low when you are passing through

And the future you're giving me holds nothing for a gun
I've no wish to be living sixty years on

OLD DOGS AND CHILDREN AND WATERMELLON WINE

How old do you think I am he said
Well I told him I didn't know
I was sitting in Miami pouring blended whiskey down
When this old grey black gentleman was cleaning up the lounge

There wasn't anyone around but this old man and me
The guy tending bar was watching Ironsides on tv
Uninvited he sat down and opened up his mind
On old dogs and children and watermellon wine

Have you ever had a drink of watermellon wine he asked
He told me all about it even though I didn't answer back
Ain't but three things in life that's worth a solitary dime
That's old dogs and children and watermellon wine

He said women think about themselves when their menfolk aren't around
And friends are hard to find when they discover that you're down
He said I tried it all when I was young and in my natural prime
Now it's old dogs and children and watermellon wine

He said old dogs care about you even when you make mistakes
God bless little children while they're still too young to hate
As he moved away I got my pen and copied down that line
On old dogs and children and watermellon wine

I had to catch a plane up to Atlanta the next day
As I left for my room I saw him picking up my change
That night I dreamed in peaceful sleep of shady summer times
Of old dogs and children and watermellon wine
- Tom T. Hall

WHEN I'M SIXTY-FOUR
--The Beatles

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a Valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.
If I'd been out till quarter to three
Would you lock the door,
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four
You'll be older too,
And if you say the word,
I could stay with you.
I could be handy, mending a fuse
When your lights have gone.
You can knit a sweater by the fireside
Sunday morning go for a ride,
Doing the garden, digging the weeds,
Who could ask for more.
Will you still need me, will you still feed me,
When I'm sixty-four
Every summer we can rent a cottage,
In the Isle of Wight, if it's not too dear
We shall scrimp and save
Grandchildren on your knee
Vera Chuck & Dave
Send me a postcard, drop me a line
Stating point of view
Indicate precisely what you mean to say
Yours sincerely, wasting away
Give me your answer, fill in a form
Mine for evermore
Will you still need me, will you still feed me.
When I'm sixty-four

Sometimes I feel like we've got
nothing to say anymore
We sit around
and fade into the walls
like old photographs

I guess it happens
as the days and years go by
Something changes
and you don't know why
and you're afraid to ask

Photographs
I don't want to be
just a fading memory
torn in half by time
All we have are pictures of us
and the way loved used to be
between you and me
Old photographs

We used to talk about
mistakes our parents made
We swore we'd never
waste our lives that way
How the tables turn

Are we the same two people
who fell in love
Have we really changed so much
or did we just grow up

Janis Ian

Beyond the Blue Horizon
George Olsen
by Whiting and Harling
also performed by Spike Jones.

Beyond the blue horizon
Waits a beautiful day
Goodbye to things that bore me
Joy is waiting for me

I see a new horizon
My life has only begun
Beyond the blue horizon
Lies a rising sun.

Ever the optimist

We had an apartment in the city,
Me and loretta liked living there.
Well, it'd been years since the kids had grown,
A life of their own left us alone.
John and linda live in omaha,
And joe is somewhere on the road.
We lost davy in the korean war,
And I still don't know what for, don't matter anymore.
Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "hello in there, hello."

Me and loretta, we don't talk much more,
She sits and stares through the back door screen.
And all the news just repeats itself
Like some forgotten dream that we've both seen.
Someday I'll go and call up rudy,
We worked together at the factory.
But what could I say if asks "what's new? "
"nothing, what's with you? nothing much to do."
So if you're walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don't just pass 'em by and stare
As if you didn't care, say, "hello in there, hello."

OLD BLACK JOE

Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay
Gone are the toils of the cotton fields away
Gone from the Earth to a better land I know
I hear their gentle voices calling old black Joe

CHORUS
I'm coming I'm coming for my head is bending low
I hear their gentle voices calling old black Joe

Why do I weep when my heart should feel no pain Why do I sigh when my friends come not again
Grieving for forms now departed long ago
I hear their gentle voices calling old black Joe

Where are the hearts once so happy and so free
The children so dear that I once held upon my knee
Gone to the shore where my soul has longed to go
I hear their gentle voices calling old black Joe
- Stephen Foster


SOUPED UP JERRY LEE LEWIS VERSION:

Gone are the days when my heart was young and gay
Gone are the toils of the cotton fields away
Gone to the fields of a better land I know
I hear their gentle voices calling
Old black Joe

I'm coming
I'm coming
For my head is bending low
I hear their gentle voices calling
Old black Joe

I'm coming home
I'm coming home
Wo my head is bending low
I hear their gentle voices calling
Old black Joe
Old black Joe
Old black Joe
FADE

THE TRAIN CARRYING JIMMY RODGERS HOME

Come along my dear, the time is growing near
We'll have to walk down where the field is overgrown
Consumption has claimed his life and we dare not miss the site
Oh, the train carrying Jimmy Rodgers home

Well we've had some hard times these last few years
Lost our farm, almost lost our spirit too
Ya but it's the strangest thing, when we heard that man sing
Oh we knew somehow we'd make it through

I can hear that whistle blow, that old train is rollin' slow
Sounds like it's cryin' for the singing brakeman, too
Back to the sunny south he'll go and he'll never roam no more
Here's the train, oh hold me close, oh sweetheart do

Come here my little son and let me hold you up
I want you to remember this day when you're grown
How your mama and dad were so proud and so sad
Watching the train carrying Jimmy Rodgers home

There goes the train carrying Jimmy Rodgers home

OLD RIVERS

How long has it been since I first seen old Rivers
Why I can't remember when he weren't around
Well that old man did a heap of work
Spent his whole life walking plowed ground

He had a one room shack not far from us
And we was about as poor as him
He had one old mule he called Midnight
And I'd tag along after them

He'd plow them rows straight and deep
And I'd tag along behind
Bustin' up clods with my own bare feet
Old Rivers was a friend of mine

That sun would get high and that mule would work
'Til old Rivers'd say Whoa
Then he'd wipe his brow lean back in the reins
And talk about a place he was gonna go

He'd say One of these days I'm gonna climb that mountain
Walk up there among them clouds
Where the cotton's high and the corn's a-growin'
And there ain't no fields to plow

I got a letter from back home the other day
They're all fine and the crops is high
And down at the end my Mama said
You know old Rivers died

I'm just sittin' here on this new plowed earth
Tryin' to find me a little shade
And with the sun beatin' down cross the field I see
That mule old Rivers and me

Now one of these days I'm gonna climb that mountain
Walk up there among them clouds
Where the cotton's high and the corn's a-growin'
And there ain't no fields to plow