Well how'd you do that? Kill your brain with drugs and booze? Sorry, I hate my pain, but I want to feel it, because life is all I have and I want to eat it up, pain and all. And something else; When I start running from my thoughts and running from my pain the first place I am going to have to run is to the shoes store to get a life time supply of running shoes, and I don't have that kind of jack. I used to spit in the face of death and give it the finger every chance I got, and I used to dare pain. Death will never catch me from behind if I see it coming, and I want to see it coming so I can bear death bravely and make my people proud.