We have children, then they leave home and we are lost! Were does the time go.

Forums: Empty Nest, Relationships, Parenting
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I often wonder what my life would have been like if I didn't marry at a young age and had children. Would I be as lonely as I am right at this moment. Would I have gone to college and done what I love to do or would I still be the most lonely person in the world right now. I guess that I just feel so lost since two of my children have moved away and my husbun is gone a lot. I haven't had any new friends in a long time. Part of the reason why, is because married people are so busy with their spouse that I feel like a third wheel. And single people are looking for a relationship with some one. So, any Ideas were to find a friend that has time for someone else in their lives?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 8 • Views: 1,191 • Replies: 10

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@Lisa Marie,

Since you are a single mom you must be working, though you didn't say. I always made most of my friends through my working positions, or taking classes. Have you thought of going back to school, college?

Also, lots of friends were made through my kids, i.e., parents of their friends. You don't have to be lonely, with or without kids. You have your self, your interests?

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You have "empty nest" syndrome. I thoroughly understand.

But you can use all this free time to re-invent yourself.

Indulge yourself and get a makeover.

Watch for the opportunity to help others - maybe other mothers who need your expertise.

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Acquire a hobby that women do, then seek out a group for that hobby. Crocheting, knitting, book discussions, flower growing?

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I have full nest syndrome.

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@Lisa Marie,

Lisa Marie wrote:

So, any Ideas were to find a friend that has time for someone else in their lives?

How about multiple friends instead of just one? A little time with each friend, and suddenly you have a rich life, without having to supplant someone's spouse or family with your needs.

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@DrewDad,

http://cdn-www.i-am-bored.com/media/microcookingonebook.jpg

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@Lisa Marie,

I'm wondering what your relationship with your husband is like?

As for friends, there are many avenues to meet people :
- Sporting clubs (doesn't have to be active - lawn bowls, croquet come to mind)
- volunteer organisations (charities, hospitals, services, environmental groups etc)
- hobby clubs (eg Bridge, quilting, scrapbooking, chess, etc)
- organisations like Rotary, Toastmasters etc

As you meet new people, invite them over for something like drinks, dinner, BBQ's etc...or out for coffee, etc

By the way, if you had children early in life, then it's likely not too late to go and get your degree.

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@vikorr,

or to take classes at the local college or college extension. As an adult, I once took an art class at a local high school at night, the start of many more rewarding art classes.

There are clubs - photography clubs for people at different levels of ability, including none, with cameras, even the cheapest, as composition is not dependent on the money into the camera - and many other possible clubs, such as gardening.

There is volunteering, which can pull you out to looking past yourself and while doing that, finding a kind of community.

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@Lisa Marie,

LM, whatever interest, big or little, there is a club or group you can go to. I recently joined a sailing club and I garden. Tell us what, if any, interests you have Very Happy

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@Lisa Marie,

Quote:

Part of the reason why, is because married people are so busy with their spouse that I feel like a third wheel

I am not buying....if you are not making friends it is for one of two reasons. A) you are a bitch B) you don't want it bad enough to do the work. I assume that it is B

You also have the option of enjoying your own company enough that it does not matter if you have friends around. That is where I am, friends are great, being by myself is great.

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We have children, then they leave home and we are lost! Were does the time go.

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