You Know That Time Is Slipping Away When...................

I had a screensaver that imitated old TV test patterns. An office co-worker had no idea what a test pattern was.

Wow- I'll bet that threw you!

When your hair starts to turn gray
Struggling with a loaded supermarket trolly
Your daughter rejects 60s rock & roll as being old fogies music
When you forget how to cut & paste a word doc.
And you can't find your spectacles & your wife says --- "you're already wearing them"

C'est la vie, just bring me my pipe & slippers & leave the Scotch on my desk.

Every morning when I look in the mirror.

When you see those "rockers", and they look like someone's grandpas!

Pheonix:

Like eoe ... everytime I look at the mirror and wonder who that haggered old fart is that's looking back at me! Every once in a while, it makes me womder just HOW EXPESIVE cosmetic surgery is!

I've found that the years just fly by now. Remember when Christmas took FOREVER to come. Now I think, Christmas already??

Well Phoe ... it's like Betty Davis used to sau ... "Old age isn't for wimps"! It becomes more apparent each year!

Anon

i have resorted to painting all my mirrors black, if i dont see it, it doesn't exist.

Anon- A few years ago, I would put my hands on my TMJ and pull back, so I could see how I would look with a face lift. There used to be quite a difference. Now, nothing is going to help!

face? Personally, I can think of a few other areas that could use a lift.

When you hear the elevator musak version of
In-a-Gadda-da-Vida.

Sounds like my mother's way of dealing with menopause. She removed most of the mirrors in the house and refused to enter the rooms that still had them. Were we ever glad when she got over THAT! (I hope I am handling it more gracefully myself. But I will admit that I have begun lowering the wattage of the light bulbs in my bathroom. Don't wanna deal with it when I first wake up, y'know.)

When was my last "omigod-I'm-getting-old" moment? When I found out the child that was born to our friends when we were all newlyweds together 20 yrs. ago is about to get married. And this is my SECOND marriage.

when your granddaughter says grandad,what was it like in the olden days?

When I thought I saw someone I used to live with, and thought, "well, it looks like her but her hair is way too long", and then realized her hair has had 7 years to grow (from a buzzcut.)

My biggest one currently is being called ma'am. I look around and realize that it's me. I call women ma'am, so now that I'm a ma'am, what do I call everyone else? And when the heck did I become a ma'am, anyway?

I always want to say "Hey, kid, I can still hang out all night and drink you under the table. Who you calling ma'am?" But, then, that wouldn't be very middle-aged lady-like I suppose.

How about automatically being given senior discounts without asking for them? (It seemed that not too long ago, I had to show my license to get into a bar!)

An old and recently widowed woman is considering suicide. She wants to make sure that she doesn't mess up and become a burden upon anyone else, so she calls the doctors office to inquire about the position of her heart. The doctor's office assures her her heart is just below her left breast.

Later that night, she shows up at the hospital with a gunshot wound to her left knee....

You go into a liquor store for a six pack of beer, where you see a big sign proclaiming, "WE CARD EVERYONE". They don't card you. You ask, "How come you didn't card me?" And they laugh.

I knew a woman who lost her husband when she was age 78. She missed him terribly; but, as she also told me, she did not wish to be a broke down old lady in her 80s. She said she wanted to go out in a thunderstorm and get killed by lightning. Well, the old woman drank enough beer to float the Enterprise in the time I knew her. A few days before her 80th birthday, she drank heavily to the point of regurgitation. She strangled on it. The paramedics came and found she still had a pulse. "Don't resuscitate her," ordered her son. They didn't and so she successfully avoided being a broke down old woman in her 80s.

I was looking at my old yearbook (had recently moved to arkansas) and it had a picture of myself and a bunch of friends snowboarding and now i am in arkansas with no snow it seems that the trip to the Pocono Mountains was yesterday.