Hotels I Have known

My daughter works in reception at a hotel and serviced apartment complex In Melbourne. She recently made these comments.

When I arrive at work at 3pm, and the accounts, which usually get done between 8 amd 10am are still not even stapled, I know it's going to be a great start to my shift...

We have upgraded guests due to maintenance issuse (ie, bedbugs) and had them shout "******* JESUS GOD, I WANT A ROOM HERE," and politely asked them to leave my Reception until they were ready to speak like an adult.

I have wrangled cars, because people never listen when I/we say "Don't, for the love of God, park in front of the roller door because if you do, the man who lives there won't be able to get inside and he will come and berate me - yes, me - for the fact you can't listen."

I have created car spaces out of thin air so that someone's trailer will be secure.

I have fixed a door at a remote property - by propping it open.
A guest called to say she had shut the door, and complained about security. I asked her to open the door with her card. Oh - not working? That's why there's a sign saying "OUT OF ORDER, DO NOT SHUT."

I have re-propped open the door, and written a note in larger type, saying "Hello. This door is out of order. If you close it, you - and all the other guests - will not be able to get inside."

I have spoken to the cross-dressing prostitute working from the first floor, and had him call me a 'bitch.' (OOoo-ah. Bitch slap me. Go on.)

I have checked 20 people in, taken 15 phone reservations, taken 15 internet reservations, closed off all the websites and emailed several people with quotes..


I will be here tomorrow at 8am, after my 11pm finish, and I will be awake.


Love hotels. Love them.
Jesus.