I know that in my immediate family grudges are held for eons.
Even if they were nut cases, for me personally it'd be better to just go and deal with the day, then to listen to them complain every chance they got for the next 40 years how I didn't go to little joey's baptism.
That's why I went to my fathers funeral, even though the man and I hated each other. I knew that while my mother was still alive, I had to continue to have some sort of contact with them, even if I didn't want it.
That's also why when she kicked the bucket, I didn't go to her funeral. I wasn't going to have to listen to them go on about it, because I wasn't ever going to see them again.
So far, so good.
I guess I'm just saying don't give them more ammunition than you have too.
I can see your side of it though kicky.
If you went to the baptism of a relative, would they sit around talking about it afterwards?