List below the most unusual country music lyrics

This works even better if you know 'Okie From Muskogee'

Asshole From El Paso - Kinky Freidman

We dont have no lovins in el paso
We dont go to porno picture shows
We dont swap our wives with our neighbors
And we keep our kids away from mexico.

And Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.

We dont wipe our asses on old glory,
God and lone star beer are things we trust.
We keep our women virgins till theyre married
So hosin sheep is good enough for us.

And Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down the street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour.

Im proud to be an asshole from el paso
A place where sweet young virgins are deflowered.
You walk down that street knee-deep in tacos
Ta-ta-ta-tacos
And the wetbacks still get twenty cents an hour

Ohoooo, we're raising the bar pretty high here.....

..... I'll be back.

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they, too, were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my step-mother.

My father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grand-child, 'cause he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
(This has got to be the strangest thing I ever saw)
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpaw.

Chorus
I'm my own grandpaw
I'm my own grandpaw
It sounds funny I know
but it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpaw.

Every time you throw dirt on her
You lose a little ground

Walk out backwards and I'll think you're walking in

I'd rather live a life of lies and fantasy
Than to face the truth and realize you're leaving me
You built me up so high my heart can't stand the fall
And life without your love just isn't life at all

So walk out backwards if you must go
And please don't wave goodbye just wave one last hello
The truth won't hurt so much if I can't just pretend
So walk out backwards and I'll think you're walking in

You walked into my heart in search of sympathy
And from that day down to this you've walked all over me
And now you're walking out to find somebody new
But you're not by yourself cause my heart's leaving too

Walk out backwards...
Walk out backwards and I'll think you're walking in

Good stuff y'all.

Tequila Makes Her ClothesFall Off is still very popular and we play it most nights.

Also popular are Rodney Carrington's Titties And Beer and Gary Lee's Rodeo Song

Well it's forty below And I don't give a ****
Got a heater in my truck And I'm off to the rodeo
It's an allamande left
And allamande right
C'mon you fuckin' dummy Get your right step right
Get offstage you goddamn goof
Y'know
you piss me off
You ******* jerk
Get on my nerves


Well here comes Johnny With his pecker in his hand
He's a one-ball man
And he's off to the rodeo

It's an allamande left
And allamande right
C'mon you fuckin' dummy Get your right step right
Get offstage you goddamn goof
Y'know
you piss me off
You ******* jerk
Get on my nerves

We all know somebody like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwGrC0KicSo&feature=related

Corb Lund: Hard on Equipment (Tool for the Job)

Parallel Bars
Robbie Fulks

Well, she's got a temper like a Texas storm, my will's strong as brick
Sometimes when we wanna get along, we both gotta get apart quick.
Well, we'd take our troubles on the town to mend, but the town's too small for that
So we take our stools and we just pretend we don't know where the other one's at.

Parallel bars, one at my feet, one on the opposite side of the street
Where two hearts that just can't meet hide 'til the heartache's gone
We had words, we let fly, he took the low road and so did I
Straight downtown, and now here we are, working it out in parallel bars.

Don't think I'm not thinking 'bout your sweet face while I knock this 8-ball 'round
While I'm across Main gettin' yours erased, every highball I knock down.
But about midnight, when the storm has blown, and the beer's worn down our pride
We're gonna be makin' tracks back home and makin' up side by side.

The most unusual stuff I heard was I had me a wife I had me A daughter I said Hon you know your mother loves you as I pushed her down the crevves (spelling well) The most interesting song I have ever heard but I do not know who sings it [email protected]

I couldnt feed my family so I picked one when I pushed her I went home and hung myself

The Man Who Couldn't Cry
by Loudon Wainwright III
and sung by Johnny Cash

There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for years and for years
Napalmed babies and the movie love story
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
Things got bad, but he couldn't cry

His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
And after that he got sacked from his job
Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob

His novel was refused, his movie was panned
And his big Broadway show was a flop

He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
Oh, but still not a dribble or drop

In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
And made to make license plates
Water and bread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face

Doctors were called in, scientists, too
Theologians were last and practically least
They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast

He was removed from jail and placed in a place
For the insensitive and the insane
He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would rain

Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried

On the forty-first day, he passed away
He just dehydrated and died

Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
Down below, all the critics, they took it all back
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm

His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out

Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought

I SPENT MY LAST $10.00
(On Birth Control & Beer)
Written by Gretchen Phillips

When I was a young girl
Like normal girls do
I looked to a woman's love
To help get me through
I never needed any more
Than a feminine touch
I hated the thought of kissing a man
It really was too much

I did not drink, I did not smoke
I did not say "goddamn"
I was polite, I was sensitive
Before I loved a man
My family, they were proud of me
Were proud of what I am
But then along came Lester
And my tale of woe began

(Chorus)

I spent my last ten dolars
on birth control and beer
My life was so much simpler
when I was sober and queer
But the love of a strong hairy man
has turned my head, I fear
And made me spend my last ten bucks
on birth control and beer

It was June of 1983
When Mary Lou and I did part
She said she loved another dyke
My god, it broke my heart
I was bitter and disillusioned
To lose another girlfriend
Lester came to work at Papa's store
And decided to ease on in

Before that last heartbreak
Nothing made me more sick
Than a hairy-chested
Cheap double-breasted
Suited man with a hard dick
I guess that I was curious
I guess that I was young
I guess it was that rum and coke
I guess that I was dumb

(Chorus)

For of course, for a woman
To love a man
She must also love to booze
If a woman don't drink
Beside her man
Then she will surely lose him
As I sit in this hetero honky-tonk
And reflect upon my past
I think about those girlfriends
And why they did not last

For there're certain thrills
That lesbian love
Simply cannot supply
Like paying for abortions
From sperm gone awry
And so I say to you my friends
Without this man I'd die
So listen to my tale of woe
And hang your head and cry

(Chorus)

Wow pure poetry.

some clever and unusual lyrics out right now

"Pigtails, overalls, freckles on her face
Skinny as a toothpick turned sideways"
-Something In The Water-Jeff Steele

Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud....and it gets worse
Well if I have one, I'll have thirteen
Naw, there ain't no in-between
Cause, the more I drink, the more I drink.

A couple of cold ones, and somebody hands me a shot.
Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin' hot
And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes and sweet talkin' some big brunette
Yeah, once I get on a roll, ain't no tellin' where I'll stop

-The More I Drink-Blake Shelton

Every Time You Go Outside I Hope It Rains...The Burch Sister (1987)

My favorite is by The Burch Sisters about love gone bad...

"Every Time You Go Outside I hope It Rains"