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The end of my compassion rope.

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boomerang
 
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 08:38 pm
I found it today.

Quote:
com�pas�sion �� (km-pshn) KEY �

NOUN:

Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.


I think I'm a pretty compassionate person.

I've endured some serious things and come out with my compassion intact.

I've done some good things in my life.

I've been compassionate.

But today I think I found the end of my compassion rope and it is both a horror and a relief.

Have you ever found the end of your compassion rope?

How did you survive it?
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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,019 • Replies: 45
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 08:55 pm
You okay?



(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Boomer)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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gustavratzenhofer
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:03 pm
You found the end of your compassion rope for a particular event or is this the compassion rope that encompasses all things?

If the latter, then you are now a Republican.
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FreeDuck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:07 pm
Well, when I was younger the rope was pretty short and I found the end of it fairly often. It's grown a lot longer over time but I still find the end of it now and again. And then I take it, and wrap it around the little S.O.B's neck, and I .... get a hold of myself.
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:44 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:

If the latter, then you are now a Republican.


Ha! Hilarious. That is EXACTLY what I was thinking!

Honestly and truely I am fine, thank you for publically and privately asking.

I'm just mad to learn that there is a point where my self preservation and my protectiveness kicks in to tell my compassion to **** off.

I didn't think that point existed.

But it does.

I'm a serious "there but for the grace of god go I" kind of person because I've been down but jesuschristonabike if your hole is already huge put down the damn shovel and start kicking some dirt in the hole.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:56 pm
It seems my compassion rope gets shorter and shorter as I age.
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:58 pm
gustavratzenhofer wrote:
You found the end of your compassion rope for a particular event or is this the compassion rope that encompasses all things?

If the latter, then you are now a Republican.


Couldn't have said it any better than gus.
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littlek
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 09:59 pm
yikes, does that mean I'm turning republican? Are there any medications for that? A surgery perhaps?
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Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 10:06 pm
"When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on." -

-- Thomas Jefferson
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cicerone imposter
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 10:24 pm
I'm not even sure what "compassion" is, but I am definitely not a republican.
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roger
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 10:44 pm
littlek wrote:
yikes, does that mean I'm turning republican? Are there any medications for that? A surgery perhaps?


A quick chat with gungasnaKKKe should do it.
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JLNobody
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 11:09 pm
C.I., are you a compassionate liberal?
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Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 11:38 pm
To use the famous misquotation...

    Show me a young conservative and I'll show you someone with no heart. Show me an old liberal and I'll show you someone with no brains.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 04:08 am
Boomer--

Am I right in guessing that Someone Efficient decided that since you are coping with so many problems--and coping well-- that you would be delighted to shoulder their troubles in your spare time??
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dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 06:29 am
littlek wrote:
yikes, does that mean I'm turning republican? Are there any medications for that? A surgery perhaps?



There are Buddhist compassion building exercises which I occasionally practice.

Whether they protect you from Republicanism is moot, but I would hope so!!! ; )


I, very sadly, reach the end of my compassion rope more often with those I know, but do not love, including here, than I do with those I do not know.

I am now intrigued as to whether I have become more or less compassionate as I age.

I suspect it depends on something or other.


I reach the end of it from time to time, big time, but it seems to regenerate itself.

With just a few people I see in my work, I have to discipline myself to maintain an empathic and compassionate stance towards who they are, as opposed to what they do.
0 Replies
 
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 06:46 am
Quote:
com�pas�sion �� (km-pshn) KEY �

NOUN:

Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.


I do think it's an age thing. It takes time and life experience to get to the realization that not all suffering is supposed to be relieved or that it can only be relieved by the sufferer so your efforts are futile.
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 07:33 am
Personally, I don't believe that compassion should be unlimited or unconditional.

Which is not to say you can't have a deep well of compassion; just an acknowledgement that no well is bottomless.

Don't kick yourself for it.



(And sometimes, the best thing you can do for someone is nothing at all. They have to hit bottom before they can start climbing back up.)
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 07:36 am
Nicely stated, DrewDad. I agree.
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boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 07:55 am
In this case it's kids that are getting ready to hit the bottom but I realize that I am inequipped to help -- especially if the parents aren't going to get their act together. (I don't think the kids are in danger -- I would have made some phone calls already if I did.)

I know this family is living in a pressure cooker but they just keep turning up the heat and I don't think they really notice what it is doing to these kids.

The kids came over to play the other day. A lot of things have changed in their home since the last time they were here. I don't know how else to describe them but this huge clot of negative energy. It really infected Mo. It was bad.

Their leaving was a scene. A bad scene. After they were gone I got to watch as Mo appeared to crash after some awful kind of high. He wasn't himself; it was pretty creepy.

The father of these kids is disabled and has surgery scheduled over the upcoming month. I know he was hoping that I would offer up additional play dates.

I kept my mouth shut.

My compassion rope slipped silently away.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Tue 24 Jun, 2008 08:03 am
boomerang wrote:
In this case it's kids that are getting ready to hit the bottom but I realize that I am inequipped to help -- especially if the parents aren't going to get their act together. (I don't think the kids are in danger -- I would have made some phone calls already if I did.)

I know this family is living in a pressure cooker but they just keep turning up the heat and I don't think they really notice what it is doing to these kids.

The kids came over to play the other day. A lot of things have changed in their home since the last time they were here. I don't know how else to describe them but this huge clot of negative energy. It really infected Mo. It was bad.

Their leaving was a scene. A bad scene. After they were gone I got to watch as Mo appeared to crash after some awful kind of high. He wasn't himself; it was pretty creepy.

The father of these kids is disabled and has surgery scheduled over the upcoming month. I know he was hoping that I would offer up additional play dates.

I kept my mouth shut.

My compassion rope slipped silently away.





I don't know as it has slipped away, simply that you have done a silent cost/benefit analysis, and decided to target your compassion closer to home.

It will not do these kids any good if Mo goes downhill with them.


This sounds a truly sad situation.
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