Oh geez, Mame. I know exactly what you mean, and I have noticed it's a gender thing, too.
One man I work with unknowingly trained me how to handle this. I started out sending him numbered lists of questions, and I soon learned that no matter how clear I was (subject line: "FOUR Questions") he only answered the LAST one. Drove me crazy. I even asked him about this in person. He said, "I meant to answer the others, but I guess I forgot." Sheesh. The man has a doctorate, for God's sake, he's no dummy.
Short story: Now I only ask one question per e-mail. If I have more questions than that, I send multiple e-mails. Each one has to have a different subject line.
(sigh)
Very cute, Francis!
I think it's a person thing. Just as some folks think in a more linear or non-linear way than others, and some goodly portion, but not all, of those group in one or the other gender, perhaps so do folks with ability or interest in answering more than one question at a time, but I might not generalize on that either. Attention Deficit may play a hand in all this, as may Task Avoidance.
Mame's example of the fellow who continually missed meetings, etc., is not so much related to gender, to me, as to people with certain flakiness problems, which may be personal attributes or even chemically induced.
I thought Mame's email seemed clear and concise; nudge that I can be, I'd follow up with other ones about the unanswered points, assuming I couldn't just go see him. All missives pleasant, of course.
(I belong to Non-linear R Us.)
It's not a gender thing at all. I remember many women during my worklife who would do the same thing. And trust me, I've worked for a LOT of different people.
I agree with kickster.
I get this all the time from women, and well as men.
doesn't matter if I put bullet points.
doesn't matter if I say, please answer all four questions, and number them out.
welcome to my world.
In fact, I notice this goes on quite a bit right here in A2K, for both men and women.
I've often read someones well thought out opinion, that address multiple questions, but for some reason someone grasps onto one idea somewhere in the middle, and throws the rest aside. Then, others will come in and address that one instance, until it becomes the entire focal point.
I'm thinking "ok people, what about all the other things that person said that qualifies that one point, which by this time has been taken completely out of context."
That's happened with things I've written as well.
Mame wrote:Okay, this is an example of what I send:
1. XXX Website updates sent to ABC company. Do you want to review them before they go live? No answer means no need. He trusts you.
2. Working on YYY Website updates. Will send you a draft later this week. No need for a response.
3. YYY Website needs additional graphics. Do you know where I could get a map detailing MNO and some electromag results? Answered.
4. The database has now been compiled. Should I send it to Jim for dissemination purposes? What is the usual procedure? Should have answered. Ask someone else.
5. Attached is a Fact Sheet for XXX Company. Is this what you had in mind? Feedback would be appreciated. No answer means this is fine, or he's working on it. I'd assume fine unless or until he says otherwise.
Succint and direct questions. He answered No. 3 only, leaving me wondering if I can just update the website without his review/approval. No. 2 was for his information only. But 1, 4, and 5 never got responded to.
This is typical in the business I'm in. I worked as a PA for the President of the last company I was in and it was even worse. He'd schedule meetings with people, myself included, and never show up or even answer his phone. It's very frustrating.
I think I'm just not cut out for this business (hence the cooking gigs).
All I can do is breathe deeply, continue working, and wait for their interest in these matters tor return. I guess when they want to know, they will ask.
sigh. Thanks for your help.
Francis, that was amusing.
Sounds like he's not into micro-managing and wants you to handle things more independently. You may come to appreciate this. It does indicate respect for your abilities.
Okay, the consensus is it's not a gender issue. Thanks. I'll keep that in mind. I've honestly never met any women like that, so it surprises me.
Yes, Chai, I've noticed that, too, about the point that gets picked up and the ones that don't.
Bill - I sent that on my 3rd day here, so I don't know if his ignoring of the questions means he's okay with it, he's thinking about it or what. I'm not comfortable at this early stage to just assume one or the other. And with respect to a publicly traded company, until I understand my role here, I'm definitely not putting information out on a website until I know what's what.
Thank you all. I think I'll just ask him tomorrow why he didn't respond to the other issues.
My bad. I missed that you were that new there. New answer; the guy seems like a jerk. :wink:
I believe it's a gender thing. I think women are generally more detail-oriented than men. Men seem to be more concept-oriented.
Or, as Tony Soprano would say, they "think big f*cking picture!"
Re: Men, help me out here
Mame wrote:I know women and men are different, but can you please explain something to me?
I wrote my boss an email detailing updates on several projects we're working on. He responded quickly, but only addressed one of them, as usual.
Why do men do this? I've never had this kind of communique with women, so I am nonplussed. That either means more work for me by sending the other questions again or waiting until he's ready to discuss the other projects.
Is this a guy thing or a HIM thing? This is why I hate working in offices. I'm always at the vagaries of whoever's in charge. blah.
I think it's a boss thing. I've had it too. Maddening. Must come with the "busy-busy, I'm an important boss" territory, where they quickly go through emails, fire off some quick answers and jump into the next meeting.
Of course, it only yields more work and more emails, because then you have to follow up and bother them again, so it's completely counterproductive. But good luck in getting that across.
Oh, and I dont think it's a gender thing.
I tend to be thorough by instinct. Downside: things keep laying for a while if I'm busy. Upside: if I write an email about something, it likely deals with it comprehensively.
E.g.: this is the problem; these are possible solutions I thought of, do you have any others?; if we'd go for these solutions, we would need x, y and z to be in place, is that possible?; these are the advantages and disadvantages of the different solutions, what do you think?
And bullet points, I love bullet points.
Drives at least three of my four female colleagues batshit insane. They cant read it. 'You write such long emails, I cant read that all!' 'My eyes glaze over past the third paragraph.' What they want is short and snappy. Everything beyond four paras is likely to be ignored.
They, on the other hand, drive me crazy. (We all like each other and generally get along crazy, but this difference in style is definitely the pain point.) You will get these endless email exchanges. Five, six in a day, as everyone chimes in on individual snippets that are sent out ad hoc.
E.g.: 'Oh, this needs to be done, do we have file X? - I have file X, but do you have Y? - Oh, good about X! But can you add this sentence to it? - Hey, what about Z? - I dont think that sentence is right, but btw, did person B get it?'
If just any one of them would take the bleeding 15 minutes at the start to think the process through in advance, she could make a list and it could be dealt with systematically, efficiently, at once. Rather than in these concentric circles where one thing reminds someone of another and only when everyone has commented on the problem does someone start talking about what's needed for a solution and then that gets commented on by everyone and only then... raah.
Is that a gender thing?
We were told, last time I worked in a big organisation,
"Send fewer e-mails. If you think the recipient is in, and you can go and talk to him/her, do that."
Some people use the e-mail like a drunk man uses a lamp-post....more for support than for illuminaton. Sometimes it's purely an arse-covering exercise.
Not that I would ever accuse anybody here of that, of course.
McTag wrote:We were told, last time I worked in a big organisation,
"Send fewer e-mails. If you think the recipient is in, and you can go and talk to him/her, do that."
True, of course. A lot of that stuff is easier if you're in the same building and you can just explain and get answers as you go along. With us, there's usually always one person who's abroad or in another office though, hence the loathed endless emails to and fro.
On the other hand, emails can be real practical sometimes. You can look stuff back up. Talk it over and three persons will go away with three different interpretations of what was agreed on.
men have 1 track minds. no matter what its 1 track , getting laid, working, ansering 1 of many questins u get the picture.
That's when men are in their twenties...
It's difficult to nail this guy down to get a meeting with him, and not because he doesn't care about his company but because he's juggling so much. I really hope to be able to take this from his shoulders, but initially a little direction would be appreciated. I don't like to interrupt him when he's in the middle of all his deal-making, so I figure he can answer an email when he's got a full brain to devote to it. Live and learn
The VP Ex is coming in tomorrow and we're going over all this so I probably won't have much to ask El Jefe. Thank goodness. He's returning from a week-long London IR tour and will have lots of emails and calls to return and I haven't got a hope of getting 5 minutes with him.
