Child Modeling

Ah-hah.

Eva.. hits it. Right out of the ballpark.

No. We are not so poor that we are hunry. But we are poor enough to not be able to take care of basic maintance things as they arrive , and not afford anything above and beyond true basic necessities unless it is REALLY planned for.

Example-I can go out to lunch with my friends if I keep it under 10 bucks and plan about 2 weeks in advance.

I can hear you all know.. " Well. . how in the world did she just afford to go to new mexico??!"
By selling my ass off.

We sold furniture, pieces of musical hardware, knives forks, cheap drums, extra photography work. Remember.. I had almost 6 months to plan for that. And I am lucky in the fact that Ian inherited many pieces of garage sale quality junk that sells fast and for under 20.00 over and over again.
If I were not that lucky to be able to drum up small amounts of money like that, we would not have gone.
We also ate from a cooler as much as possible and slept in a really bad, cheap hotel.
Y aknow there was a shoot out in the parking lot while we slept one day?!

Anyway. Im geting side tracked.

Yes Eva is ABSOLUTELY correct.
This is not at all about Bean, Beans experience, or anything else for that matter. I have been 100% honest about that from the get go.

She, right now, would be working for my education.
Though I dont see it quite as drastically as Eva does.. it is still 'selling out' my daughter for my gain.

But this is not a gain that is selfish.

Im not putting her to work for the next craze of Jimmy Choos..

Im putting her to work so that I can have a degree and earn money that will make our family comfortable.
I am choosing to use that money for an education. Not a weave. Not drugs. And not -just because I want it-. It has a purpose and its purpose benefits the entire house hold in a drastic way.

If given the opportunity, would I have her work beyond what I need?
Absolutely not.
I dont feel good about this as it is.. obviously.. or I wouldnt have posted about it asking for input.

So dont bash on Eva.
She is dead on .
And I think that is the entire reason I have been feeling ODD about this at all. I know it is taking what SHE worked for and putting it to my gain.
Very selfish.
Probably illegal to a certain extent. Those rules I dont know anything about just yet.

But..Im with Eva.. it is 11:50 pm here.
Im freaking tired and I have a lot of work to do tomorrow.

I will write more later.

I would never bash Eva. We're inernet talking.

Nor was I suggesting that she was unempethtic or out of touch with people with struggling with money.

I dunno. Much as I love you, Eva, and you know that I do, I have a different take on this. These three people, especially these three, are a family, a unit. And in a family, everyone helps out with everything. I think if Bean is not being exploited, and she wouldn't be, from what I've seen of her parents - then it'd be fine. Everyone does their bit towards the common goal, which is a better standard of life, in this case.

You know Mr. & Mrs. Wolfie LOVE her and would never hurt her or put her in an uncomfortable position. Well, we all know that. She's a precious little treasure. But if they tried out this modelling and Bean was cool with it, I'd go for it.

Another point - I don't think it's HER money, I think it's THEIR money. Think of child support. Not ALL of it goes to the kid's food, etc. It often goes into the family coffers for everything. (Not that I've ever had child support, but this is what I'd expect). Or alimony - surely that mother would spend some of that on the kids. It's a family unit.

Bottom line, though... I always, always, always go with my gut and if this is bothering you, Shewolf, don't do it or put it aside for now. But if it's not bothering you, go for it. Keep the assignments simple and spaced out (time-wise) so it doesn't get to her. You know what to do. You're a smart cookie and loving mama.

Hate to repeat myself but I'm feeling so ignored here...



Bottom line, there is a certain percentage that must be saved for the child. That's the law.

I didnt miss that post at all

I honed in on it and did some research. hence my responce about it being illegal to certain extents to use all of your kids money


And even if I had to put away 60, 70 % of what she earned.. then that is perfectly fine! Actually that would be wonderful.
I would still use what I could to further me, myself , and I .

Though..Im not feeling so odd about it anymore I dont think..

I don't think it's wrong at all and I don't think you're exploiting her by using that money to help the family out.

It's for her future, in essence. You are bettering yourself so that you can better her life; be able to set aside college money or be able to afford to get her a car when she's 16. Or make sure that food is always on the table and the electricity is on so that the ac works or the house is heated.

It isn't like you'll be forcing her to work 15 hour days 8 days a week.

It's something she will enjoy and personally, had my family needed the money I'd have worked for them instead of pissing it away on myself. Jillian might not understand it now but there's no doubt in my mind she'd understand it later. And you don't have to use it all. You can save half for her so that she doesn't feel slighted later.

No, I don't think you're wrong and I don't think you're being selfish. You're not buying shoes or purses or anything for yourself. You're looking for a way to keep your family afloat and I am confident you'd never do anything to exploit your baby. I know you'd rather go hungry than let anything bad happen to Bean.

I agree to a certain extent with Eva, however, if the child can make money, help the family out (she is part of the family as well) and she enjoys it what is the harm? I think you really need to ensure that Bean has fun with it and doesn't mind - it doesn't become a drag or she doesn't want to do it.

Also, whether it is required by law or not, I would assume part of the money would be saved for her as well. I do think as the parent, there is work involved on their side as well. Bringing her to the photo shoots, getting them set up and making sure things are done in the child's best interest - almost an agent or rep for the child - so I see no issue with the parent keeping some money for these services. It appears the money is being earned for the family as a whole which Bean will benefit from as well. Getting a better education would benefit little Bean as in most cases, this education would help the family as a whole.

As long as you are not pocketing the money to have a spa treatment or buy yourself some expensive jewelry, etc., the money is used for the benefit of the family and Bean is having fun, so what?

I agree with Mame's take as long as it is for the family unit - not for selfish reasons. I would suggest though, putting a portion aside for Bean whether there is a legal requirement or not. Or perhaps once you start working and earn that extra income, set up an account for her where you put away so much each month - if interested in college - start a 529 plan - money grows tax deferred.

Shewolf
Shewolf posed her questions openly on A2K. She knew she would get feedback, pro and con. She uses A2K in a good way to work through complicated issues that will result in the best outcome. I know that if Shewolf would take any action about Bean that she might be ashamed of, she would not ask for our opinions openly on A2K. That, in itself, gives me great confidence in her ethics. Eva gave a lot of thought to her very good advice to Shewolf out of respect for her. What more could one ask of a true friend?

Those of us who know Shewolf well and love her and her family have great respect for her judgment about raising Bean and know she would never do anything that would be harmful to her daughter. I admire Shewolf for wanting to get her degree so that she can improve her life and that of her family's future. I also firmly believe that she would do right by Bean with regard to saving most of Bean's earnings for her future without the need of any law to require it of her.

Shewolf knows herself and her ethics better than anyone. She will have to work her way through her decision along with Bean's daddy. I'm confident that they will do what is best for Bean. They have proven that many times and I think they will continue to do so.

BBB

I agree Linkat. Afterall...Shewolf, your education from the money Bean makes would add to her standard of living - when it means more to her as well. Right now she doesn't know it is work really - and she doesn't understand how hard money is to come by.

If you increase your education and get a good income going with your photography - she will certainly see the benefits of it when she is older and it will matter more to her then.

There is no doubt you have her best interest in mind - and that you would be aware of any questionable situation that come up with her in any situation. It sounds to me like you are being responsible in your educating yourself about the requirements of a child working and getting opinions from others.

And that's the whole point of it, I believe.

I worked with a wonderful little girl, Iman, from the time she was 3 until she was about 6. I used to joke with her mother, who was single at the time and raising her on her own, that that we were contributing to Iman's college fund.

It was a joy 15 years later when I got the invitation to Iman's graduation celebration. I felt as if I'd truly played a part and it was extremely satisfying.

You guys have made my day!

Just stopped in here for a few minutes while traveling. I see you all have resolved this very nicely. Thank you for restoring my faith in A2K once again.

Shewolf, I have no doubt that you will handle this well. Directing a four-year-old, getting her to appointments, managing her schedule, etc. is certainly worth something, and you are absolutely entitled to a percentage of the earnings for your work. I think the law is very wise.

Mame, Amigo, et. al....thank you for understanding that my comments were made from the best of intentions, whether you agreed with them or not. THIS is the right way to talk among friends, and I appreciate you all more than you know.

Shewolf...keep us up on this. I'll be excited to hear about Jillian's first shoot!