Bad Day...Family Death

Hey bear, thoughts with you, man.

RH

Sorry to hear that, Bear.


I know what you mean.


If I were ever to kill myself I would do my best to leave minimal clean-up, and make sure it wasn't someone who cared about me who found me.


I guess sometimes people are not at their most rational when they do it, though.


(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Bear)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bear, I would have the same feelings of unbelief at the thoughtlessness of the person committing suicide.

I realize that many suicides are not thinking rationally, but there are enough who do commit suicide who also try to make as easy as possble on the relatives left behind, to make me believe that this person was basically insensitive.

My heart goes out to you.

actually this was a very nice person... giving and a joy to be around...

I will keep you and your family in my prayers and thoughts.

I'm sorry, Bear--I really feel for you. It was just a year ago that my husband's dad killed himself, also in a very gruesome way. It's a very weird, disorienting thing to go through.

I'm still so angry with him at what he did to his sons and his wife that I have a hard time feeling sadness at him being gone--it turns into anger as soon as I think about it... When you're less close to the one who did it and closer to the survivors who are left to deal with the pain, it's very hard to get past being mad about how incredibly selfish it was to inflict this on everyone else. At least, that's the way it's shaken out in our situation, anyway--the in-laws are too mad to forgive, the close blood relatives are too sad to be mad at him. And I know it's not a very fair to be mad at someone who was basically out of their mind, but jesus is it hard to forgive this kind of hurt...

I've been there, Bear. My father committed suicide in 1990 when his health situation became more than he could handle. We were left to clean up, both literally and figuratively.

Believe me when I say...I understand the anger. Yes, it does feel as though someone dumped their shitload of garbage on your doorstep to deal with. It took me years to get over the anger because I felt guilty about being angry. I may not be totally over it yet. It might not have taken me so long had I been willing to admit I was angry, and if I had known it was a perfectly normal reaction.

So go ahead and yell. Scream if you want to. Throw things. It's OK.

My thoughts are with you, bear. I definitely understand the anger.

the problem is I'm not really that angry... I'm turned off by the bad form... but I don't have any strong feelings one way or another... I feel like I should have a strong feeling but i don't.... I'm not really close to my family although I did like this particular person quite well...

I'm trying to work through why I don't feel worse than I do when I should....

shock, maybe?

Forget the "should"s...

You feel what you feel. Or don't. There is no right or wrong way to feel.

It just is.

Does your lack of emotional response make you think that you are more Jaded then you realized? Maybe it has gone deeper then you realized?

believe me I'm well aware of how jaded I am.

Bear
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<Bear>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

BBB

I'd say shock. Our brains insulate us against stuff we're not ready to deal with yet.

Well, I can understand the shock alright - I was shocked just reading it. I think suicide always affects me this way. Not that I disagree with it. Just the part that's so disturbing to Bear... it would have been more considerate if he had gone somewhere by himself where he would be found by a stranger later. Sad, at any rate, for the family.

it was a she...

I hope she didn't do it because you told her I was coming to town.

But, seriously, Bear, you have my condolences.

I have dealt with suicides before. In every case, they were inconsiderate of others. I don' judge one for taking that option. Just wish they would consider ways to make it easier on the rest of us.