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Least Favorite Holiday Songs

 
 
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:05 am
Where do I begin? I mean, I don't really like holiday music. At all. My father has a stack of shitty Christmas CDs. Amy Grant's Christmas album is wildly unpopular among everyone else in the family, particularly my mother, yet my father plays it constantly.

And every year a new song irks the **** out of me. This year it's that mothef---ing Paul McCartney abomination, "Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time." I'm simply going to assasinate him for writing it! Whenever I hear that song, I picture a Prozac-wired family, glassy-eyed, gnashing their teeth over prime rib.

I have an affinity for imagining dramatic senarios in which certain songs would make rather ironic soundtracks. For example, a plane crashing to "On the Wings of Love." Or a crackhead flatlining as "My Heart Will Go On" plays. This works great with holiday music. In this regard, holiday music and serial killers are a simply wonderful combination. But I'll leave the imagining, and further venting, to you.
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Type: Discussion • Score: 0 • Views: 986 • Replies: 19
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Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:07 am
i hate all of 'em... except for Santa Claus and His Old Lady by Cheech and Chong...
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George
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:18 am
Do You Hear What I Hear?

"A Child, a Child shivers in the cold--
Let us bring him silver and gold"

How about bringing him a blanket?

"Said the king to the people everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people, everywhere"

As I remember the story, the king was Herod and
he had all the newborns in Bethlehem slaughtered.
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Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:23 am
George wrote:
"Said the king to the people everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people, everywhere"

As I remember the story, the king was Herod and
he had all the newborns in Bethlehem slaughtered.


You know, that gives me an idea. There is plenty of room for more death metal Christmas albums. Exodus alone is a bottomless well of potential material.
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George
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:30 am
Gargamel wrote:
George wrote:
"Said the king to the people everywhere,
Listen to what I say!
Pray for peace, people, everywhere"

As I remember the story, the king was Herod and
he had all the newborns in Bethlehem slaughtered.


You know, that gives me an idea. There is plenty of room for more death metal Christmas albums. Exodus alone is a bottomless well of potential material.

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like a bloody sword.
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dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:34 am
alvin and the chipmunks, actually I pretty much detest all xmas holiday music.
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Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Tue 11 Dec, 2007 10:55 am
I remember once entering Country Kitchen in Norwood, Ohio for lunch with my roommate. At each table were those miniature juke boxes. My roommate thought it would be hilarious to select Alvin and the Chipmunks' cover of Achy Breaky Heart, quite possibly the worst song ever recorded. The song played and every head in the diner turned toward our table. I got the same chills I did watching the diner scene in Easy Rider for the first time.
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SULLYFISH66
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Dec, 2007 07:09 pm
I guess I don't detest the holiday music, I resent WHERE and WHEN it is played. Pumping gas to Little Drummer Boy? Buying condoms and booze to Joy to the World? I hate it in the stores and blasting on the streets.

The only one I do like is Elvis' Blue Christmas
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hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 07:20 pm
The Hoodoo Gurus version of Little Drummer Boy rocks - all other incarnations of that track are devil spawn.
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msolga
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 07:30 pm
Little Drummer Boy Rocks? Surprised Laughing

Must get hold of a copy!

What I hate is loud, piped Christmas carols you just can't escape in shopping centres (like my own at the moment Rolling Eyes ). They just seem to make everyone utterly grim & miserable & want to escape the scene as fast as possible! Add the cheerful, relentlessly upbeat dj & you just want to kill somebody!
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 07:34 pm
I hate all Christmas music, too. Especially hate Do You Hear What I Hear, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell Rock and Silent Night.

Hate all of it, though. Ugh.
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hingehead
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 10:07 pm
msolga wrote:
Little Drummer Boy Rocks? Surprised Laughing

Must get hold of a copy!


Your wish is ...yadda yadda

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/little-drummer-boy-up-the-khyper/173319044
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Slappy Doo Hoo
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 10:24 pm
Christmas and Music do not belong in the same sentence.
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Swimpy
 
  1  
Reply Tue 18 Dec, 2007 10:31 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltiY-BqvOIU

This is what Christmas is all about, mates.
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jespah
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 04:58 am
I may have you all beat with the crapfest that is Lou Monte's classic, "Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey" -- and a-one, and a-two -

Quote:
Hey! Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
It's Dominick the donkey.
Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
The Italian Christmas donkey.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Santa's got a little friend,
His name is Dominick.
The cutest little donkey,
You never see him kick.
When Santa visits his paisans,
With Dominick he'll be.
Because the reindeer cannot,
Climb the hills of Italy.

Hey! Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
It's Dominick the donkey.
Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
The Italian Christmas donkey.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Jingle bells around his feet,
And presents on the sled.
Hey! Look at the mayor's derby,
On top of Dominick's head.
A pair of shoes for Louie,
And a dress for Josephine.
The labels on the inside says,
They're made in Brook-a-leen.

Hey! Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
It's Dominick the donkey.
Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
The Italian Christmas donkey.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)

Children sing, and clap their hands,
And Dominick starts to dance.
They talk Italian to him,
And he even understands.
Cumpare sing,
Cumpare su,
And dance 'sta tarantel.
When jusamagora comes to town,
And brings du ciuccianello.

Hey! Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
It's Dominick the donkey.
Chingedy ching,
(hee-haw, hee-haw)
The Italian Christmas donkey.
(la la la-la la-la la la la la)
(la la la-la la-la la-ee-oh-da)
Hey! Domini ...


Please, God, make it stop.
0 Replies
 
Gargamel
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 09:41 am
Okay. In a recent development, there is ONE Christmas tune I enjoy. Kind of a lot. I just heard it, "I'll Be Your Santa, Baby," by Rufus Thomas.

This is one of the funkiest songs ever, Christmas or otherwise. Heavy on the wah-wah and the bass. It starts in your toes, and before you know it you're bobbing your head like a Romanian orphan.
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Noddy24
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 01:52 pm
Right now I'm icebound and "White Christmas" does not please me.
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 02:11 pm
The best Christmas song ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZgPCl2SImPg

Ignore the retarted video.
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Chai
 
  1  
Reply Wed 19 Dec, 2007 02:56 pm
oh, that dominic the donkey song is embarrassing, and I'm not even Italian
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Dorothy Parker
 
  1  
Reply Thu 17 Jan, 2008 11:32 am
Sorry, I know I'm a little late for this one but I really hate that Chris De Burgh one.

In fact, I really hate Chris De Burgh full stop with his little evil bastard face and crap hair.

Mad
0 Replies
 
 

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