The Handbag

Every once and awhile I go into minimalist mode and try to streamline the contents of my handbag. No sooner do I do this, however, than I discover myself in desperate need of the liquid soap or knee highs that I jettisoned.

If one thinks anthropologically, handbags may be a vestigial expression of women's biological desire to nest. We need to feel that all the necessities of life are immediately within reach ?- and these necessities have increased in number as civilization has grown more complex. By the same token, the handbag may only be a shrewd invention on the part of patriarchy to keep women enslaved. The dead white male who invented it knew that it was an accessory that we wouldn't be able to resist.

Be that as it may, I admit to having a fetishistic love of handbags that would probably require years of psychoanalysis to be rid of. But given that I know a lot on the subject, I might as well share my knowledge with anyone interested:

1) A handbag shouldn't be too big. Most people, barring the Amazonian supermodel, look ridiculous with very large handbags. Even a bag of the best variety, if too large, will make you look like a bag lady seeking a street corner in which to curl up for the night.

2) It shouldn't be too small. There's nothing more déclassé than a purse that's been overstuffed. It's like a tight dress that shows all the bulges.

3) It shouldn't be too heavy. Given the cargo, one doesn't want to turn the thing into a barbell or hasten the development of a dowager's hump.

4) It shouldn't be too light. Those light-weight knitted bags, when filled with the necessary items, will make you look like Santa with his bag of toys.

5) It should be reasonably stylish. A dowdy handbag, like a bad haircut, can add 10 years to your age.

6) It shouldn't be too trendy. In my 20s I made the mistake of buying bags that were "cute" ?- i.e. for a fleeting moment in time they looked cool, only to recede into looking stupid a week or two later. Anything made out of blue jean material or with words written in French should be avoided.

7) It shouldn't be too expensive. An expensive bag is fine if you're going to remain faithful to it for years. But most women are like me ?- they crave change. Since it's better to be fickle about handbags than husbands, I recommend confining yourself to Marshall's and the reduced bin at Loehmann's.

8) It shouldn't be too cheap. The faux-leather bag may look good on the rack, but the pungent plastic odor and stubborn refusal to wear out will get on your nerves.

9) It should have at least two compartments, for cell phone and reading glasses. This is a stipulation that wouldn't have occurred to me a decade ago, when I didn't have a cell phone and didn't need reading glasses. Compartments are also the kind of simple innovations, like cup-holders in cars, that weren't necessary until someone thought them up. A few weeks ago, when I couldn't sleep, I saw an infomercial for a pocketbook insert with compartments for everything you might need. The idea was a good one, but the actual item (which the infomercial promised would fit into a handbag of any size) seemed dubious. If readers have tried this insert and can vouch for it, please e-mail me.

One thing I've learned in my long career of shopping for handbags is never to buy one unless I've tested it by transferring the contents of my existing purse into the projected one. I do this even if I have to do it in the middle of the store where all can see. As embarrassing as it may seem, it is necessary. Be assured that the procedure will draw a great deal of sympathy from other shoppers who will offer their opinion: "not big enough," "bad color," "looks lumpy," etc. Take their advice. Or don't. You'll need to buy another bag in a few months anyway.
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(1) I have a fondness for the term "pocketbook," in its evocation of portable reading-matter, but the word seems to have gone out of favor (and tends to be used only for the little black purses with stiff handles that my grandmother used to carry).

(2) My seasonal pilgrimage is not apparently unique. A recent survey states that the average American woman buys at least four handbags a year. The "at least" is intriguing, since it suggests legions of women who can't resist a fifth or sixth handbag ?- not to mention the fashionistas who buy one for every outfit

I like fashion.

I follow fashion, after a fashion.

A really good pair of shoes makes me so happy.



Handbags I don't get.


I have a rather ugly but extremely useful Eddie Bauer backpacky thing (it has one strap that goes over crosswise so it's not really a backpack). That's what I use. I've had that for a bit more than a year, and before that I had a small black leather bag for about 9 years. Before that, more backpacks.

Shapeless--

I used to have a handbag that put Mrs. Swiss Family Robinson to shame: sewing kit, spot remover, jack knife, length of stout cord, length of wire, cough drops, notebook, pen, extra pen....

Then my family genetic curse woke up and I started spending a lot of time on crutches.

I can't carry a shoulder bag. Even petit bags make my back hurt.

I now have a kangaroo pouch (free for supporting the wilderness).

I carry:

Identification and bank cards.

Change purse.

Car keys.

Notebook and pen.

Tissues.

Wet wipes.

Container for pills.


I frequently carry a tote bag with a handicapped parking placard and the paperback--or magazines-- I'm currently reading.

Rationalization:

As I get older I am less dependent on material goods and my soul is flourishing.

Cords and wires? That's not something I'd think to carry around with me on a regular basis. I guess that's why I was never a Boy Scout... 8)

Shapeless--

I still keep bits of string and wire, but in the house.

The wire handles on Chinese takeout are useful for all manner of projects.

Crap. I carry very large purses sometimes. I own two: black l and brown leather. I have a really huge black and white tote that I use on the boat, and a dozen little "clutches" of various fabrics etc from patent to beads.

I LOVE 'em.

Gawd help me.

I've got purses I never used and probably never will.

It's a sickness.

I've some thrift shop treasures, oldies with satin linings and fancy clasps, planning to do an ebay thing, with no idea if they are worth more that a few dollars... so I am slow to do it, since I like them on the hall doorknob..

I've a giant tan leather thing, still love it, usually only carry when travelling.

a faux Fendi purse from the Salvation Army, amusing to me because of the Fendi bit, and useful since it's easy to see, with the stripes.

two sacky tacky type purses from Target, one I'm using now, sort of a dark red woven beaded thing. Nuovo hippie.

The simple brown leather purse I bought in Florence, a tad worn, I'd never ever ever toss it.

A few others. I'm over needing any new ones. Well, that.... took a while.

Still looking for the perfect wallet design. I hate all of them, even the very expensive ones don't put it all together the way I would.

i saw a woman carrying one of these like a purse recently: http://www.benettontalk.com/2007/02/ikea_against_plastic_bags_1.html

i was disgusted at the "need" of it also kind of impressed. it wasn't full, of course.

I found a picture of my winter handbag on eBay...except it's in a different color.

Brahmin handbag....





Mine is black and brown, like this one....It's sides are brown croco, as well as the strap, the rest glossy black.




I love this bag, and it loves me. I don't lay it on the floor and make sure I don't get pen or gunk on it. It only carries my wallet, cellphone, comb and any receipts I might gather during the day.

I've had it 3 years and will have it years more. The curve of the top of the bag fits perfectly along my hip.

Since my rolfing, I realized I can't wear shoulder bags... so right now my bag is at the shoemakers, getting an addition to the strap, so I can wear it across my chest.

I hate putting away when the Spring comes.

What?

No one else wants to present their bags?

Oh okay- you twisted my arm Chai...

I buy about one bag every ten or so years, usually when I have to go somewhere nice and I finally look critically at the one that I'm using and realize it's so beat up that I'm embarrassed to take it anyplace but the grocery store.
I keep a nice black one for dressy occasions- because when I dress up, I almost always wear black shoes. It's small because I don't tote alot of stuff along that I don't need.

I love the one I got this fall. It's a beautiful shade of olive green velour (one of my favorite colors) so it's very autumnal. It has brown leather straps with black accents- so I can use it with brown or black shoes. It's the perfect size. I can carry my wallet, a hairbrush, my camera and it has just the right amount of compartments for my other stuff- even a separate zipper compartment in which I can carry the dozens of pens and pencils and an extra calculator which I need to keep handy for my students.

I can even stuff a little spiral notebook in there- which is something I always like to have handy.

I was a little hesitant about the velour- thinking it would look ratty pretty quickly- but so far so good- it's held up really well.

It won't work for spring or summer however- the color and texture are wrong. But I certainly am enjoying it right now.

I paid $12.99 for it at Target.

BigDice just gave me a black bag by George Gina & Lucy. All their bags have names - this one is Miss Perfect. Very fitting - it holds everything I will ever need - wallet, keys, phone, lipstick, tampons, dextrose in case my blood sugar goes down, Advil, calendar, chewing gum, scrunchy, my nice pashmina in case it gets cold. Perfect for every day. But too large to go out in the evening. Then I usually use a smaller black Mandarina Duck bag that I got a very good price at a Mandarina Duck outlet store.

And if it has to be really nice I have a sleek black leather bag by Strenesse - also a gift of BigDice. It's very classy so I hardly every use it

Chai, love your bag! Drooled a little bit.

Ok this is a vice of mine. I like bags. I've got several. I buy more than I need.

My mainstay is a rectangular maroon handbag with square outer pockets. I love it. It's the perfect size. It suits me. It works for most things.

I have a bag for papers and meetings, a bag for the beach and camping, a bag for when I wear dresses, a bag for music outings, a bag for when I spend time with the kids, a bag for the car, a bag ...oh, it gets excessive.
And luggage and backpacks too. Excessive.

And yet I still think the writer is a freak and off base.

I don't bring make up with me Shudder at the thought.

Backpack and a small bag but I'm hating the small bag as it doesn't have a shoulder strap. Someone will make some serious $$ selling adjustable straps to go with a handbag that doesn't have 'em.

Well, um...err, no

urs, I got as a present a Mandarina Duck burgundy leather backpack. I had never heard of that brand before.

Hm, I guess I have quite a few handbags, they're mostly from one German
designer, as I like his designs. I also have 2 briefcases.

I bought a stylish black bag last month but I wasn't very sure about my choice, so I didn't wear it.. yesterday I sent it to a relative who found it beautiful.. I'll by another one today I think.. hope to find a bag which I can fall in love with ! lol

See, "wear it," that kind of gets at the main disconnect I think. I'd "wear" shoes but "use" a handbag (/backpack/purse).

I do see some really pretty ones and get that they're pretty, then I look at the price tag and have a heart attack. I keep an eye out in a general way for one that is both pretty and non-heart-attack-inducing, but it's not on the top of my list. (Ask me about the gorgeous shoes I just bought, though..!)

okay ! thx