1
   

"IRL" vs. "Online"

 
 
sozobe
 
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 03:18 pm
I seem to remember this being discussed before, but I can't think of which of four possible forums hosted that discussion, so I'm gonna go ahead:

On the "online dating" thread, Craven said, in part:

Craven de Kere wrote:
I never use "in real life". The internet feekin' IS real life. I have the bills to prove it.


I was thinking about that in terms of one of my best friends, who lives in Boston (and introduced me to Abuzz) and who I only see about once every two years. We write emails often, though, probably an average once every two weeks, with spurts of several a day. I still consider her one of my best friends if not my very best friend, even though most of our relationship is online these days. We haven't lived in the same city for about 7 years -- we've known each other for about 14 years. (Though we didn't become good friends until a couple of years after we met.) Is this an "online" relationship or a "IRL" relationship?

Similarly, I really do consider a lot of the people I met online to be friends, without needing an "online" or "IRL" prefix.

I do see a difference between online and IRL, though -- for example, Craven is currently making a website for the committee I'm on (thanks again!) and so he is dealing with people I know... IRL. It's WEIRD. Shocked Guess that could just be a different social circles thing, though. My wedding was also WEIRD for me as all of these wildly different people from my life congregated in one place.

What do you think?
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 2,994 • Replies: 47
No top replies

 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 03:20 pm
If I find out y'all ain't real Ise goan giv birth to a cow.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 03:22 pm
Ouch.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 03:24 pm
Oh, and I'm not real. Well, I am, but some of my other ID's include dlowan, Sofia, LibertyD, Gautam, and gustavratzenhoffer. Just so's ya know.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 03:29 pm
Ok, fer me it works like this:

I don't really chat or IM people that I don't know in the 'brick and mortar' world, cept dlowan.

Google is not an abstract concept to me. They pay me every month. I pay them every month. I speak to their employees on the phone. The day before yesterday I (and some other webmasters) pitched a fit at them and they pulled a new program they had launched a day before and decided to rework it with our complaints.

I buy stuff on the net. It's not imaginary stuff it arrives at my door and they take real money from my account.

I will soon be paying over 500 bucks a month to host this site. That's money deducted from a real bank account and to support that this site (pronnounced 'massage parlour') on this here inteeernet (pronnounced 'porn shop') will have to pay me real money.

I build business applications online. I just setup an online system where a company's users clock in through theor browsers online and the system calculates their wages and such.

They get paid real money.

I will buy some groceries tonight online. They'll come tomorrow. It saves me time and I don't have to get upand shop. This allows me more time to see fake boobs at a club.

To me the net is as real as "real life".

When people don't understand it it's magical. When you have to pay for it and fix it or run a business on it it becomes more real.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 04:30 pm
Doh, that was a very real problem with the server just now.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 04:53 pm
Good, I thought I had gone nuts.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 04:56 pm
Not mutually exclusive lady.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:08 pm
It is a complex thing for me.

People I know via the net are real to me - especially if I know them pretty well, but it is another sort of real, I think - I know this because, when I first voice-chatted I was actually completely shocked. Not sure if I really know why - but it was something to do with realising that this friend (and him being male had something to do with it, I think) to whom I had been speaking quite unreservedly, was not something basically in my head, but a real, live person.

I mean I KNEW he was real - but I didn't REALLY know it until that moment, and it felt extremely odd, and rather weird. I am used to that, now, of course - but I can imagine that meeting a net friend for the first time will be similarly odd - I have not done so yet. Probably Margo will be the first one of you I meet - and I expect few surprises. I suppose it becomes as familiar as voice-chat is to me now, pretty quickly - although I really only voice chat with one person. I do not imagine it would be more than an initial shock to meet me, as I am me wherever I am.

I have ordered a few books online - nothing more - and it is nice when they materialise. I CERTAINLY know they are real if I order them from the USA, since our dollar is soooo weak, but I do no other online shopping.

The other "unreal" bit of online life for me is that it occurs late at night - and on weekends when I am not otherwise busy - so it is a sort of "crevice" thing in my life (bigger in the last year, cos I have been poor and sick a lot) - this means it occupies a niche apart from my normal life - sort of like a secret little world! This gives it an unreality.

I imagine doing business over the net makes it much more real.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:10 pm
If I find out where this smegging "lady" thing comes from, I will stomp on the source!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:12 pm
If my net and brick and mortar worlds collided, though, I would feel like George Costanza did in "Seinfeld" - when his friend and fiance worlds collided!!!!!!!!!
0 Replies
 
Sofia
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:20 pm
It would kill Independent Sofia, as well.

Sometimes, I am tempted to try to make a Gathering, but I love everyone being perfect without misplaced freckles or varicose veins. In my mind, those things shouldn't matter ANYWAY. Vision is good, but it can be a handicap sometimes...

<I have often thought one or two people here could be everybody...>

I like the majic.
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:20 pm
dlowan, Yew and sozobe should get married. Ask her why.
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:22 pm
Ha!!

I told you she was just another of my ID's... that proves it.

Very Happy
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:24 pm
dlowan wrote:
If I find out where this smegging "lady" thing comes from, I will stomp on the source!


It means "kneader of bread". Go stomp hlAfdige.

Or yew can blame zenraven. Or Jerry Lewis. Take yer pick lady.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:26 pm
Why the smeg should Soz and I get married.....Soz?
0 Replies
 
Craven de Kere
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:29 pm
To me it's not about worlds colliding. It's about circles converging.

I don't give my cell phone number to my business clients and such simply cause I don't want them calling me when I am off.

I don't give my work number to friends cause I don''t want them calling when I am working.

I don't give out my email address (cept to special people) cause I don't want spam.

I don't use my real name online simply because I am known in webmaster/white hat hacking circles under a screen name and my real name makes no sense to them.

I don't give my credit card number out to.. actually I do. Otherwise the midgets have censored stuff over them.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:40 pm
" Otherwise the midgets have censored stuff over them."

Huh?

I know I am being thick, but, huh?
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 05:46 pm
(Craven likes to look at nekkid midgets online, and he has to ante up or else they have little black rectangles strategically placed.)

Dlowan, I sent Craven an email with the subject line "Worlds Collide" during an exchange re: the website, and quoted a line from that episode. That's what he's on about.
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 9 Aug, 2003 06:12 pm
aha
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

So I just joined Facebook.... - Discussion by DrewDad
YouTube Is Doomed - Discussion by Shapeless
Internet disinformation overload - Discussion by rosborne979
Participatory Democracy Online - Discussion by wandeljw
OpenDNS and net neutrality - Question by Butrflynet
Internet Explorer 8? - Question by Pitter
 
  1. Forums
  2. » "IRL" vs. "Online"
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.04 seconds on 09/21/2021 at 08:58:58