Unhappy

Yes, I hate feeling this way but I cant stand the dissapointment of going and them saying they cant help me.

I, for one, enjoy your posts here.



I've been through major depressive episodes several times. It's more than just sadness. For me, it was an overwhelming feeling of hopelessness; that I would never get out of the holes I had dug for myself. I considered suicide.

Seeking professional help was the best thing I ever did for myself, and one of the hardest. I had to admit that this wasn't something I could take care of myself; I felt weak. I ended up feeling that asking for help meant I was strong.




You're in the UK, right? I don't know what hoops you have to jump through there, but I ended up going directly to a psychologist instead of trying to get help through my general practitioner. GPs just don't have the training to deal with depression. The psychologist recommended someone with specific training in antidepressants, and I continued seeing the therapist for a while.

Thanks for your help guys and Im sorry to sound so negative.

Therapy means talking and im no good at that.Posting is just about doable.

I can understand that! It took me a long time to find a doctor that actually got anything moving for me (without refusing to treat me bc I wouldn't take a anti-depressant prescription from a general doc who had only seen me a few times! < bit of a rant, but, yeah, I get the frustration and hopelessness that can come of not getting good help even when you're trying and asking for it.

When I finally found a doctor who I felt listened to me, and was qualified, it went a lot faster. I walked out feeling like there was hope again. And there is.
And there has never been a refusal with him for treatment if I don't take medication.
He did refer me to my now psych though. And that has been wonderful.

You might need to spend some time "interviewing" doctors as a first step. To find one that works for you. One that will diagnose you, to begin with, or refer you to someone who can.

I'd go with you, if I could. The right doctor makes a huge difference.

It's getting there, and deciding to stick with it til you find one decent. And I know that can seem like a massive and hopeless task in itself.

But that hopeless and massive thing is depression talking, again, and it takes ignoring it enough to keep going.

I wish I knew something better to say. I do understand, and care. It sucks hard to be at that spot where the world seems to be closing in.

MG, I've been where you're at. I could have written some of your posts.

I'm not a professional, but it does sound like you're going through clinical depression to me. The fact that your brother is being treated for depression makes it even more likely. It's a well-documented fact: Clinical depression runs in families.

What do you mean, it wouldn't be fair to your parents to have two kids being treated? That's much better than having one that's getting help and one who isn't! Besides, the real question here is, "What's fair to MG?"

JPB is right. Antidepressants don't make you feel falsely happy. They just remove the oppressive weight of the circular, depressive thoughts so you can think and feel normally again. Sometimes it's the break you need to be able to function well...and begin dealing with underlying issues such as self-esteem. What is this "I don't want to inflict myself on anyone, I hate being me" garbage? I object! I consider you a friend, MG, and I don't let people talk about my friends that way!

M.G.--



Speaking as a parent, I'd rather have two kids being treated for depression than my son being treated and my daughter being absolutely, hopelessly miserable.

Right now you're so down you can't remember up.

This could well be clinical depression and stopping your downspiral all by yourself probably takes more energy than you have to spare right now.

Would it be "fair" to your parents to have a son on anti-depressants and a daughter who is thinking of suicide as soon as she works up the energy to act?

You've given up expecting Prince Charming to hobble his horse in your front garden and come in for a get-to-know-you chat. Unfortunately expecting your Fairy Godmother to come into the kitchen, help with the washing up and then provide a ticket for the ball, a dress for the ball, an escort for the ball and Effortless Happiness Ever After is also unrealistic.

Please, please, please, talk to a doctor. I'm worried about you.

Oh now you're just going too far!!!

Shoes are good! A bird up close...eh, no big deal.
But, don't you dare put down the iPhone!!




Seriously....get someone to help you. You need to find a good doctor.
Please.

By any chance, MG, when you have tried talking to a therapist before, were you depressed at the time? I'll bet you were.

Clinical depression creates a chemical imbalance in the brain. That means you were trying to talk to someone when your brain was unbalanced! Well, no wonder you couldn't do it well! Nobody can!

That's where antidepressants come in. Once the chemical imbalance is straightened out, it's much easier to think and talk straight. That's why a combination of medication and therapy works best for most people.

Also, the right doctor will put you at ease. Look for someone who is easy to talk to. They are out there, and they really can help. I know. I've been through this several times. As I've mentioned on other threads, I am currently getting off antidepressants which helped me immeasurably while going through menopause. The hormone fluctuations of the past few years messed with the serotonin levels in my brain something awful. It's pretty common, actually. But it looks like I've made it through, finally!

Aw sweetie, I'm sorry you're not feeling right. Listening.

PS You are very much worth it.

Oh, MG, please talk to someone right away. I just love you to pieces, you're one of the very first posters that I remember from when I first found a2k, who made me think, "Yeah, I want to stick around here!" I swear I'm not just saying that-- your name was one of the first that I started looking for on threads, and I thought you seemed SO funny and nice and I right away wanted to get to know you better.

And I can so strongly empathize with a lot of what gets to you-- every time you've mentioned some of these things like not meeting guys, bad self-esteem, feeling like your friends are all doing better in life than you and that you don't have anything worthwhile to offer them as a friend, I've felt like it could be me talking. I've been through that kind of ****, man...

And I'll tell you what I only just realized this weekend, after a long heart-to-heart with my best friend: she was feeling the exact same way all those years and would have been able to help me with it if I'd trusted her. So please, please try telling one or two of your friends. Give them a chance. All those friends that we always think have it all together and don't know about feeling worthless and crappy-- they do know. Everyone's been there. Please give them a chance to help with this. We are all here for you and love you, but you need someone in person too.

((MG)) ..sending you loving wishes....

Ive tried not to think too much today so a bit happier.Also spent a bit of money on my new venture so as a woman, spending money always helps.

Thanks for all your kind words.

MG--

Spending money helps because spending money is a way of exercising power.

Are there any other ways you can exercise power in your life?

(Optional Lecture:

You could march right over to the telephone table, pick up the telephone book and look for mental health professionals--then make the call.

You'd be a powerful woman, a woman who is making change happen.)

I'm glad you're posting today. I've been a little worried. You sounded somewhat suicidal.

sending hugs to you MG

New venture?

Eh?

What is it?

Curious girl here.

Coming from one of those families in which clinical depression runs....... well..... besides knowing a little about what you're talking about, I also know that spending money to make yourself feel better is a quick and temporary fix. The good feelings don't last. So, do consider Noddy's query as to what other things make you feel as if you have some power and do those things too. And, of course, get thee on some meds!

Here MG, this thread of Mame's cheered me up a bit, maybe it'll give you a bit of a pick-me-up too: Click!

Thanks guys.

My spending of money is connected to my new adventure, so instead of wasting it on useless pointless things its going towards something specific.

And yesterday I made steps to not put on weight, no crisps or chocolate passed my lips.Its a start, may help.

Noddy24, I agree, power is a fabulous thing.
I thought to myself the other day if I wasnt scared of so much, Id be fantastic and seriously kick a*se in this world!!!

To lose weight you must eat more vegetables and fruit. Avoid mixing carbohydrates with protein as it is harder to digest them. Either take carbohydrates with veggies or veggies with protein. But a healthy diet is bad for teeth and bones as fruits and veggies are acidic so you need to eat nuts and cheese to prevent leaching of calcium. But once in a while enjoy yourself and forget all the diet stuff.

Good for you, MG.

Power and endurance and something to look forward to and build. You've got it.