I wish my daughter could read all of this. On June 15, she and her 2 month old baby came to live with me, due to her boyfriends abuse. I helped her get a temporary restraining order. She was supposed to go to court this Monday, 7/6/09. Well, Tuesday when I was at work I guess the ex came to my house and she and my grandbaby left with him. I am heartbroken and sick with worry. Having been abused myself way back when, I wanted so much better for her. But I also know how manipulative abusers can be, what with their "I'm sorrys" and "I'll change". I am absolutely heartbroken. I can still smell my precious little grandbaby's baby smell. Please say a prayer that she will get away from him, for her sake and her babies sake.
PS: When you say the prayers: daughters name is Chelsy, her baby's name is Aria. Thank you.
Hi, sorry i took long to reply. I have finally giving birth and having my daughter now kept me busy. But yeh i got your message and don't worri i will pray for both of them. I understand, it's not easy to let go but you stay strong and have faith. She will come back.
Take care,
Hi everybody
How are you all doing?
Do you remember me? I'm the girl with "the abusive husband in every way". I have given birth to a beautiful baby girl and I have been busy looking after her. Well, updating to what I wrote before giving birth. I just want to say my birth was fine and I have giving birth naturally.
My husband was not allowed to come in the labour room, as I have demanded. I now have my daughter and put in a prohibited steps order and residency order to say he's not allowed to come near me or remove my daughter from my care. This is temporary until the court hears his side of the story and makes final decisions.
I'm writing to say I have strong fears that my husband will hurt my daughter if I don't abide by his rules. I have known my husband for almost 3yrs and I know what he's capable of doing. In the past he would make love to me without my consent and would tell me he has every rights, as I’m his wife, which I don't think is fair. He would even have sex with me when I’m sick, sleeping, on my period and during my pregnancy etc. In other words, my husband cannot control his desires of sex when they come, find out more on: MY HUSBAND IS ABUSIVE TO ME IN EVERY WAY, WHAT DO I DO? HELP! And you'll know what I mean.
To be honest, I don't want him near my daughter because I fear him and want my daughter to be safe. My husband like I said, have done so many horrible things to me in the past of which I was vulnerable and defenceless as I was pregnant. I did not have any freedom of speech what so ever; it was all about what he wants. I feared my husband so much that I did not report any of the abuses to the police because I was warned not to or else. I now wish I did.
I was a victim of rape in the past of which I also didn’t report but now is not just about me, I have a daughter who I need to keep safe. I have never had justice done to me and would like that now.
I have deep feelings that if justice is not done, my husband will one day take my daughter out of the country or will rape her as well as he doesn't care about anyone's feeling as long as he gets his first.
He didn’t care about my feelings, what makes me think he would care about my daughter's feeling or age.
I'm a young 20years old girl who really wants help, justice and safety for my daughter. I would die if I loose my daughter to him or if he ever hurts my baby. Been raped at the age of 11 is not an easy thing to forget as no matter what you do or where you go these thoughts remains in your mind. It affects you emotionally and mentally and to have these recalled again by a person you though you could love and trust, make things worse.
I have my daughter registered already and she has my last name. I had to put my husband's name on the birth certificate as we were married on the day she was born. I was devastated when I had to do that, as I did not want to have him as the father on my daughter's birth certificate. I just wanted to get a divorce and have his paternity rights removed, as all he gave me was hell. I don't think he deserves to have the paternity rights because he has not supported me through my pregnancy but only thought of him.
My main question is:
Can I remove his name as the biological father on my daughter's birth certificate and just have blank? If yes, how?
Can I tell the court that I don't want him to have direct contacts with my daughter and why? If yes, again how?
I'm sorry this might sound awful but I hate my husband so much for what he's done to me? I just want to get a divorce, finalise things and move on to take care of my daughter. I have been through a lot of stress concerning the whole matter.
All I want now is justice. My husband wants me back now, saying he promise things will be better but I do not believe him because he said that to me many times and things got worse. He's only been nice now because he's loosing his case in court and I don't want to be fooled again.
I also do not want my daughter to know that her father is a rapist. I don't want her to know him at all. She does not deserve that. I want the best interest for her.
I have lost trust in men and don't think I will be able to love again or if I ever do, it will take time because love for me now does not exist.
First love fucked up, big time. And
Once a rapist, always a rapist
Once a wife beater, always a wife beater
Once a cheater, always a cheater
There's no way I will go back to the suffering of the past or allow my daughter to go through it.
Please help and reply with what you think.
Take care,
New Mum
Are you in a position to pay for all of this child's needs for the next 18 years, that is without government checks? If not then why should we the taxpayers allow you to load up on us the cost of raising your kid just because you are filled with hate and don't want a child to know her father. I would rather you both be forced to take care of your responsibilities. we could get you into a program to deal with your anger issues if that would help you to be able to be a co-parent.
Yes i am able to take care of my daughter on my own which i have been doing so far. Her father himself has not done anything to support her all through my pregnancy and after. So i have been supporting myself and my daughter.
It's not about hatred but i'm more concern about safety. I don't want child support from him, i will be fine on my own. What i want is justice and the safety of my daughter.
My husband is very abusive and capable to do whatever to bring me down. He said that to me many times aswell. He refuses to pay anything.
I have tried counselling on marriages but he refuses to turn up and said i'm insulting him of been mentally disturbed.
I want JUSTICE and SAFETY and i would stop at nothing to get that.
I want him to leave us alone. He took advantage of me but i will not let him do that to me again. My daughter does not deserve her father like him.
Get a court order of protection on him. Let them determine if he should pay child support and/or get custody. If he is as bad as you say he is, there should be no issues in proving that she would not be safe around him.
