Has anyone seen my cat?

I was sitting there enjoying my organic fair-trade cuppa joe, reading some trashy romance novel hidden behind the New York Times. I think I heard someone talk about a car with vanity plates that read "aldistar", or something like that ...

The last time I saw her she was in the Starbucks parking lot. I had pulled into the liquor store to pick up a couple of half-gallons for tonight and as I got out of the truck the cat jumped out the door and started running around the parking lot. I yelled, "Bitchie! Get back here!", but she continued chasing a butterfly which led her across the street (where a passing Mercedes almost took her out) and the last place I saw her as I glanced over my shoulder was the parking lot of the Starbucks.

I figured I'd grab her when I came out, but I ended up in the liquor store longer than anticipated because Louie had just received a new shipment of Elvis decorative Vodka bottles and I spent a good deal of time examining them and finally purchased the whole lot.

Then as Louie and I loaded the crap in the back of my truck I cast a cursory glance at the Starbucks parking lot and saw no sign of the cat. Some guy and a woman with a laptop were just getting into a car and I yelled at them, "Hey! Have you seen a cat!?", but a passing helicopter erased my words and the couple sped off without hearing me.

I thanked Louie and ambled across the street. I looked around the garbage cans behind Starbucks and then asked inside. Nobody had seen her.

As I was leaving a fat kid behind the counter stopped pushing his broom for a second and said, "Hey, Mister, did you say a cat or was it a kitten?"

I looked at him and said, "Well, it was a kitten, but its still a cat, dammit. You see it?"

"Yeah. A nice-looking broad with a laptop took it. She stuck it in her purse. She was mumbling something about number four as she and some guy with a really big nose left the building together."

Now I am pissed. Why would some broad take my cat?

If anyone here could shed any light on this I would sure appreciate it. You return my cat to me and you will be the proud owner of a new Elvis vodka dispenser.

Your choice. Even the tall one where the king is in black and strumming his guitar is not out of bounds.

I want my cat back.

Get a grip, man. It's not like this is the first pussy you've ever missed out on.

I heard Dlowan had a lap top...