Hazard, shmazard, don't worry about us, dag, we're germ resistant and not the least bit squeamish.
It so ISN'T Eva's. My great great great grandfather had it centuries before your granny. It wasn't hers to leave. And not just the bottom corner, either, how can I possibly entertain with just that? I need at least the bottom half. And if you knew more about it, you'd know that wood is self-cleansing, no bacteria on it whatsover.
I know, clary. Apparently even Jean Baptiste-Grenouille used it when he worked at the tannery, and later to make his human perfumes later. It was tossed when he was killed, picked up by clary's great great-grand father who was Madame Arnulfi's journeyman and lover. He was the size of a Hun and not very smart. It still has JBP initials scratched on the back though it's hard to see now through all the rot and fungus.
I am well aware of it's provenance. It may have meant a great deal to your great great great grandfather, Clary, but his descendants fell on hard times and sold it. My grandfather picked it up in an antique shop in London while he and my grandmother were on their honeymoon. It has been in my family for the last 75 years until I misplaced it during my recent move.
I am positive that the initial scratchings are new, Dag. Obviously a crude attempt to steal my family heirloom.
You are misinformed, both of you. J P B is my great great great grandfather, and his name was Julius Poubelle Blenkinsop. He lived his whole life in a cave in Greenland so your ancient relative could NOT have found this in a London antique shop. It was stolen from my grandfather much more recently, three years ago in fact, by the window cleaner who came to call at his home in Ulan Bator. If you have it now, Eva, it's because you are related to the evil Mongolian window cleaner, of which you need not be proud. I want it now.
Ha!
It's JBP! NOT JPB, clary. Sorry, that proves it all.
Oh RATS!! You sussed me out for the treasure seeker I am. I withdraw from the contest. I didn't really want it anyway.
Actually, it's a fake. Don't try and sell it at Sotheby's, they'd laugh at you.
dagmaraka wrote:Ha!
It's JBP! NOT JPB, clary. Sorry, that proves it all.
And I was just about to claim it as MINE!
But Jean-Baptiste Grenouille was JBG.....
Who the hell is JBP?
(looking at Noddy's)
You're right, it is nicer. Yours doesn't have mold and rot and scratched initials on the bottom. And it's blue.
But mine is older.
(looking at mine, then looking at Noddy's again)
Um...wanna trade?
I still think I should have half of one of them, at least. I mean, it was my great great great great great uncle's baronial estate that it was found on, the original.
Eva--
Sorry. My Sainted Mother would churn in her urn if it went out of the family.
But it is the turn of the living to own this priceless relic, not the dead and cremated!
Clary--
I'm alive and kicking and possessive.
Ooh you are MEAN, you know it belongs in the Old Country not the modern history-less wrong side of the pond.
Darling, I not only conserve history, I make history.
I am sorry to interrupt this unseemly squabble, but I have just been informed that the cops have taken said item to the lockup and plan to auction it along with confiscated drug assets. It was not as some people have suggested; a Stray Cat fessing up to being Elvis in drag.
I hope this sets the record straight.
