We had pot luck at work for the May 5 (Cinco De Mayo) today.

She was likely to be both teasing you and suggesting you do that next time.
It's a nice tradition.

Suppose there hadn't been a Pot Luck Buffet available. What would you have done for lunch?

Jeremiah, each person is expected to contribute to a pot luck.

You made a social gaffe.

She was teasing you a bit? Perhaps it was her way of enlightening you as osso suggested.

I say that you were wrong to eat if you didn't contribute. PS-guess what? NOONE has time that isn't an excuse

I'd be willing to bet the pot wasn't even Mexican....

Well there were others there who ate but didn't contribute. I think she singled me out. I was so embarrass.

Next time if there's a pot luck...I won't contribute and I will bring my own lunch or eat out.

Why not just contribute and join in without feeling guilty or embarrassed? I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, or make a comment of any kind. If you don't want a social gaffe pointed out then get the hint and let her pick on someone else next time.

I am going to stand up for Jeremiah.

The only way it is bad for Jeremiah to have eaten food when he hadn't contributed is if there wasn't enough food. But there is always too much food at pot lucks... and if the food the Jeremiah ate would have gone to waste anyway, it could be considered his duty to eat it. (By not eating this food, he would have had to consume other food. This wastefully increases the general food consumption and thus contributes to global warming .)

He probably has some obligation to bring food the next pot luck.

I think the co-worker was rude. Publically pointing out the gaffes of others is boorish, especially given the fact that you could have had a very good reason for not being able to bring food.

I agree and didn't say that he shouldn't have eaten the food for the same reasons (assuming there was more than enough to go around).

The woman was a boob, but it made him feel bad and Jeremiah has indicated that he won't participate at all the next time. I think that's biting off his nose to spite his face. If snide comments from boorish people bother him, my advice is to not give them anything to be boorish about, rather than remove himself from what could otherwise be a great lunch. That, or grow a thicker skin and not be sensitive about what the office folks think/say about him.

One office I'm familiar with has come up with an alternative to bringing a dish for the potluck. They collect a couple bucks from those who know they aren't going to be able to provide anything homemade (usually the younger, single guys but not always) and then one of them agrees to stop by KFC or some such place and provide a bucket of chicken for the table.

Times have changed.

Forty years ago "pot luck" would have meant "women cook" because of course single guys have too many other demands on their time.

Perhaps the Censorious Co-Worker was reacting not so much to Jeremiah as to the Busy Bachelor Syndrome?

Ahhh.... the good old days...

Yes, times have changed.

Around here, single guys who don't cook are expected to provide the drinks, paper goods, or something like that. Most just pick up bagged salad and a couple of bottles of dressing...or a deli tray...or a dessert from the bakery section of the grocery store. Something easy. But still, they contribute.

Most single guys have more free time than anyone.

Our young friend's female co-worker was rude to bring it up in front of others, but she was right. He really should have brought something. I hope he'll get over his embarrassment and join in next time. Potlucks are a common custom, and he'll be invited to plenty more of them in the future.

I don't think Jeremiah is single. I think he just didn't know about the tradition behind the custom, in that office or perhap any other.

It seems the co-worker was on the rude side, but we didn't hear her tone of voice.

It is obvious from this thread that Jeremiah is single. If he were married, he would have just had his wife make something for his potluck.

(I miss potlucks in Jeremiah's valley. There was some goooood food. Had the best tamales ever there... home-made... yummy.)

I'm not Ms. Data here, but I've a pretty good memory.
http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=93426&highlight=

Ah, so you DO, osso!

Well then, perhaps his wife can explain the custom to him better than we can.

For what it's worth, my husband does most of the cooking at our house. I'M the one who picks up the deli tray or the bakery specials for the potlucks. :wink:

We had previous pot lucks at my work and my wife did cook food for me to bring. But this time I didn't let her know there was going to be a pot luck for Cinco De Mayo because I want her to rest after she goes home from work.

I told her about this incident and says I should not attend any more pot luck gatherings and just bring my own food. BTW...she was very upset at the woman who embarrased me.

Well, sure that's one way of dealing with it, but it is an isolating response and could leave you feeling unwanted and alone.

I thought you believed your co-worker was joking with you.

No?

Yes?

If so and it's more of the embarrassment factor, why not cut yourself some slack, and while you're at it, cut some for your co-workers, too? Life's too short to keep your nose out of joint over something so trivial, although I can see it stung you at the moment. Why not bring in a cake or brownies or something some time this week? Invite the others to help themselves -- your treat. It's ok to mention you were a little embarrassed - we're all human and most of us have been there. Locate your sense of humour and use it! Be gracious.

I've made more blunders than I can count! Believe me, you're not the first guy.