In lieu of flowers.....

I know many groups do send a card saying that a donation was made by _____ in so-and-so's name... The Red Cross and American Cancer Soc. do at least.

If I were making a donation I'd ask. If they don't send the card I'd find a condolance card and send it myself and mention that a donation was made.

Agreeing with fishin. I usually send the donation directly to the agency requested and have received a response back indicating that the family would be notified.

Also, I recently observed a situation where a number of checks made out to the noted agency were included in sympathy cards mailed directly to the family. The family then sent the donations on to the agency. Not having much experience in such things, I don't know how common this approach is.

I don't know how it works in the USA but here you get a list of the names (and the amount of donation).

I am planning on sending flowers and a card to my friend (it was her mother who died) next week about the time she will be returning to her own home.

I found the phone number for the organization they are requesting donations to so maybe I'll just call them and see if I can do it over the phone. Their "online" contribution form is one that you have to print up and mail in so there would be a big lag in time before notification.

It's kind of confusing.

Thanks for your help!

I'd thaught such was more common in the USA.

Here, the procedure is very simple:

the data (name of organisation, banc account) are published together with the fdeath/funeral notification (in the paper and send by post).
The you just fill out your bank transfer.

If you do it online - like I do all my tranfers (see example) - you hit addtionally the buttom "Spende" (='donation') and assure by that to get a (tax reducing) receipt by the organisation.

You could always just make it part of the conversation/letter.

"Just say something like, I wanted to send you flowers, but I see that a donation to ABC was requested instead. So, the money for the flowers went there, so I am going to write to you and let you know Im thinking about you................."

This is a small hospice that they are asking for donations to so I don't know if such high-techery is available. I'll search around a bit.

Thanks!

Often at funerals, the family of the deceased will have donation envelopes near the guest sign-in book for the charity of their choice. If it's mentioned in the death notice in the newspaper you can simply call the local office of the charity and they will organize everything (have the deceased's next-of-kin's address handy so they can be notified).

When my mother-in law died, the family received a stack of donation cards after the service. Apparently small donation envelopes etc had been left on a desk in the reception area. No amounts were specified. It was simply an acknowledgement that a donation had been made. We divided the cards among family members and shared the task of acknowledging the donations in writing. Having never experienced that before, I was frankly shocked at the shear number of them!

When my own father died, it was similar phenomena. Later, I did receive a special notification that a friend (who hadn't attended the service) had made a donation. It seems likely that when she called the charity, she was asked if she would like me to be aware she had donated. At no time, on any of the acknowledgements, was I aware of how much was actually given.

After those experiences when I wanted to make a donation at a funeral myself myself, I searched out and found a similar stack of acknowledgement cards, which I completed and left for the family. It had room for my contact information, but no place to indicate the amount. I took the envelope and separate card that came with it and completed that from home. It was up to me to follow through with my pledge, which I did, by forwarding a cheque. Presumably the donation acknowledgement that I left at the home was given to the family.

In the second case, there was a section on my portion of the donation slip that asked if I required a separate additional slip to be sent to the family. I think I chose not to, presuming the card at the funeral was sufficient to let them know I had honoured their request.

I'm not going to be at the funeral and I don't know her parent's address and it seems like a really bad time to call and ask.

For what it's worth, it might surprise you to know that I wouldn't have considered it a bad time to call. I would have appreciated your interest.

I agree with Joe Blow. The notion that someone was reaching out to me would be very comforting.

The funeral home will have envelopes for donations. You can check the box that says "to be used as the family wishes" or something like that. The funeral home will give all of the envelopes to the family.