So I just got off the phone with Imus

In light of his recent publicity, I took the liberty of recording and transcribing the conversation:

Imus: Hey Stu, what's up?
Stu: Not much, what's up with you Imus?
Imus: Oh, not too much, you know. Just chillin. Oh wait, no actually I have this thing going on...well, never mind, it's kinda silly. No big deal really. I have to do this "apology show" thing, well its no big deal...I'll can use like 90% of the material from last year's thing.
Stu: Yeeeaap, you always do know how to stir the coup. Well, talk to you later then.
Imus: Well wait hold up, the truth is, this one is kind of serious...I've lost all my sponsors.
Stu: I see. Aha. So that's why you're calling.
Imus: I'm a good man, you know? I'm a good man who's just said a bad thing. A good man. Who just said a bad thing.
Stu: Keep telling yourself that. Look, I didn't expect to ever hear from you..ever again....after the night...
Imus: Oh yeah, the night...damn you it took me 3 years to forget and now you've had to remind me again. Damn you.
Stu: <silence> Wow, awkward moment huh...
Imus: Look, Stu, I could really use your sponsorship. Times are really rough.
Stu: No Imus, this is the last time. I heard about what you did, and I can't support you anymore. Too much media, association and all whatnot, you know how it is...
Imus: What?? You heard about what I did?? What? Who told you!!? Oh wait...don't tell me, it was the oreo wasn't it! Wasn't it! Wait no...I fired her. It was Janeelinie, wasn't it!
Stu: No. It's all over the media. And I can't sponsor you again.
Imus: I need your help, I must have it! I-mus I-mus! There's no one else I can turn to.
Stu: Sorry, no can do.
Imus: Don't make me play the card! Oh don't make me! I'll tell them about you...about your race!
Stu: My race? Huh, I am white?
Imus: What, you're not one of those taco-loving--
Stu: <interrupting> No! God no...burritos maybe, but it's been a while...
Imus: Hmm. Well. Hmm. Hum. In that case, you've got to help me. It's your duty. You're white like me! Marshmallows, they're sticky. We've got to stick together, ya' know?
Stu: Hmm, good point. Okay, I'll sponsor you...but this is the last time...best behavior this time, mmkay?
Imus: Oh, you know I will be. Thank you so much, Stu. You won't regret this. I promise. I'll make it up to you.
Stu: Ah, don't mention it. See ya later then.
Imus: Oh, and Stu?
Stu: Yeah?
Imus: See ya later, you nappy-headed ho!! Hahaha! <click>