I'm not a (blank)

edgarIdon'tknowwhatthehellI'mtalkingaboutblythe

I am not a crook.

I am not a rocket scientist

im not a woman

birth must have been....... unusual.....

I am not a hermaphrodite.

I'm not really a dog or a caribou...

I'm not really an arc welder...

I'm not your boy toy.

Oh wait, I am.

I'm Not the Guy
Dan Bern

You can categorize me
Lump me with the others
If that's the way you wanna play
You can say that the way it's been
Is exactly
The way that it's gotta be
And I'll make you feel right
If you gotta feel right
Well if you're willing to live truthfully
I think you'll see
That, Babe, I'm not the guy Who hurt you
Many years ago

I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy

Babe, what are you seeing?
When you look in my eyes
Maybe someone from a magazine
Is that someone who hurt you?
You don't gotta explain it
I used to read that magazine myself
But last night in the kitchen, yeah
I cancelled my subscription, yeah
And maybe you'll believe me, Babe
That you don't need to carry yours
Around anymore

'Cause I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy

I'm not the guy who made you crawl into the shell
I'm not the guy who threw your heart against the wall
I'm not the guy who made you feel like all you did was lost
I'm not the guy who loved you, Babe, and kept his fingers crossed

I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy

I'm not the guy who tried to hide his wedding ring
I'm not the guy who disappeared after the spring
I'm not the guy who took care of you for a weekend stay
I'm not the guy who loved you babe, and took his love away

I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy

I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy
I'm not the guy

you have just destroyed all of my fantasies...

I'm not Rappaport.

I'm not infected anymore....

yes, but are you infected any less

I do not think, therefore I am not.

I am not an italian dish.

Yeah, the page break kinda ruined my joke...

(that one was followed by this this one)

I'm not Prince Hamlet--nor was meant to be.

I'm not Gertrude, either.

Or J. Alfred.