What time is it?

Actually, we rarely know the correct time. Time is arbitrarily designated in "slices" over the earth, for efficiency's sake. If I am at high noon, the guy who lives two miles west of me is really a little behind. If everyone figured by the "correct" time, there would be utter confusion.

Come to think of it, we have utter confusion as it is.

Can anybody explain the international date line to me? That has confused me since I was a kid.

Anyhow, there's no time like the present!

I'll try to explain it, Phoenix, but you might well end up even more confused. The time zones are based, more or less, on the fact that the Sun appears to cross certain longitudes at different times. OK so far? The date, however, is an arbitrary setting. So, if we decide that when the Sun seems to be directly overhead at Greenwich, England, it is 12 noon there, then we can extrapolate from that the time is New York City at that moment simply by measuring the degrees of longitude difference between NYC and Merry Ol' etc. If we accept Greenwich, England as 0 dgrees longitude, then the logical place for changing the date is at 180 degrees. Make sense so far? The clock will have run all the way around by then. At 12 noon in England, it will be 12 midnight at the Date Line and, therefore, a new day. 180 degree turnaround. It is fortunate for all concerned that the 180th meridien happens to run straight through a fairly empty part of the Pacific Ocean so that it doesn't really inconvenience anybody.

That is a grossly oversimplified explanation, but it'll have to do until some geography maiven comes along and explains it more betterer than I can.

Whatsa matter? Didja lose your cell phone?


Sheesh. It's 12:05 a.m.

Since the Packers get Brett Favre back this year... and possibly Randy Moss to chase down his footballs... I'd say it's A$$ Kicking Time...