Today Is Stephen's Birthday

He is 24. He is more like a 13 year old. He will probably not mature any farther than that.

He will probably never marry.
He will never hold a high or even a medium position anywhere.
He will never drive.
He will probably not live to a ripe old age.

In school he was primarily shown only meanness or at best indifference. He was invited to one party where he had a seizure and was never invited to another. When we threw him parties they were poorly attended. He was never invited for a sleepover.

When he turned 19 and graduated they tried to tell me that since he was a "certificate" and not a "diploma" graduate he could not walk to the stage in cap and gown like everyone else. I took care of that **** and special programs kids walk in their caps and gowns now.

He was taken off my insurance with no room for debate and placed on SSI and medicaid. Without it his medication would be 1200.00 a month. My plan was to teach him from day one to put 50.00 a month into savings and investments so one day he could have some quality of life, but the government program says that if he ever has more than 2000.00 in savings he's off the program. That would pay for his medicine for 7 weeks. Recently we moved and our house payment went up 200.00 a month so they said his housing we supply him went up in value and decreased his payment by 50.00 a month, even though we still charge him rent. We charge him rent (a minimal amount) because we are trying to teach him about responsibility and contributing to a household.

He has had a drowning incident and been declared dead and then revived. He has been beaten up by other kids on several occasions in school and had to be stitched up at the hospital for things done to him by hateful kids. He has had seizures at horribly inappropriate times and ruined countless numbers of family outings and caused an immeasurable deal of family stress.

It is highly unlikely that Stephen's situation will improve much and I worry about what will happen to him after I'm gone.

I wouldn't trade my time with Stephen for anything or anyone and I would go through all this again. I love him, and he saved my life.

Before Stephen came along and I'm ashamed to say this because I have two older daughters from a first marriage, I was a totally self centered prick who thought of myself only and took no responsibility for anything or anyone including me. Stephen taught me how to love and care for a person with no chance of anything being given back to me. Without Stephen I would have continued pursuing "Big time rock stardom" and today I would be either dead from an overdose, or an aids victim or in prison on drug charges or all of those things combined. At best I'd be an alcoholic and a drug addict no doubt.

Today I am a loyal husband and father to squinney and 4 other children besides Stephen. I don't think of myself as a particularly good father or terrific husband but I'm there day to day and my family knows that I love them. I have Stephen to thank for what little progress as a human being I've made, because he changed my direction.

Stephens' world is small. In a few minutes I'll get him up, take him to breakfast, take him bowling, take him to an afternoon movie, take him to his favorite restaurant for dinner, and then bring him home where his step mom and sibs will be waiting with presents and cake. That's about as big and happy a day as Stephen could wish for.

It's the least I can do for someone who has taught me so much.

I'm posting this because I want as many people as possible to know that my son Stephen is an important person, a life changing person, a valuable person.