Mourning the Deceased?

Mourning is necessarily one of the most personal things. There is no right or wrong way, and no one can tell another how best to count the loss of a loved one.

No. Why?

Everyone does it diffrently.

Even denial is a form of grief.

Simply put, if you ( or who ever it is ) dont feel that you are doing it 'right', seek some professional help.

There is no right or wrong way though.
Even the person who turns to bottles and bottles of alcohol following someones death, is grieving in their own way that might be some what correct for them. Maybe not for their bodies.. but eh..

In what way?

Mourn in whatever way works for you. It may vary from person to person that you have to say goodbye to and it may also vary according to the circumstances of your life at the time of a person departing as well as your overall state of mind at that time.

I have been known to mourn by ignoring the situation, by going on spending sprees, by immersing myself in garbage television, by falling apart immediately, by...well, the list is fairly long. Each person who I have lost to the grim reaper has received a different form of mourning from me. Dear old Dad was a 3 year wait, Mother was an immediate sigh of relief, Grampa...well, it was Autumn and I walked off shuffling my feet through the crisp crusty leaves, leaving the Thanksgiving dinner and family back at the table (we got the call during dinner). With Uncle Bert I drank myself into oblivion and took a while to recover, with my old pal John, I went into an unbelievable rage. When I lost Roger on 9/11 I just sort of went into shock realizing that sweethearted guy was gone. When my cat died, I stared at the spot where he had breathed his last and refused to vacuum it for over a month (the carpet, not the cat).

Sturgis- I agree with you. There is no one "right" way to mourn. There are people who hang on to tradition, and look askance at people who don't follow the traditional mourning procedures.

I think that each person needs to mourn in their own way, or else the mourning simply becomes hypocritical rote motion. The ways to mourn are as varied as the people who mourn.

When my nan died, we came back from the hospital, I drank a glass of milk(something I dont normally drink) and my mum started doing the washing up.
I think we were all in a state of shock.

In the family car we were in on the way to her funeral (she was gona be cremated)it was May I think and hot, someone commented on how hot it was, then seombody else said 'someone else we know is gona be alot hotter soon'.
Sounds sick but we all giggled, even my dad whose mother it was that had died.

We are all different, do your own thing.

When my nan died, we came back from the hospital, I drank a glass of milk(something I dont normally drink) and my mum started doing the washing up.
I think we were all in a state of shock.

In the family car we were in on the way to her funeral (she was gona be cremated)it was May I think and hot, someone commented on how hot it was, then seombody else said 'someone else we know is gona be alot hotter soon'.
Sounds sick but we all giggled, even my dad whose mother it was that had died.

We are all different, do your own thing.

Good advice.

I'm with Tico...

Why are you asking this question Miller?

It would seem self evident each person mourns in a unique way.


What is your perception of mourning? How have you mourned? I can't imagine answering this question unless I have an inkling of what it means to you, since to me at least it appears you may not know what it is.

Re: Mourning the Deceased?

I am skeptical about the existence of death.

I suspect that death is a fake,
appearances being deceptive.

One 's material body wears out,
as do his shoes, but he does not stop walking.

I suspect that the Law of the Conservation of Energy
applies to conscious life.

Being told that consideration of any evidence
against death is only " denial " is not convincing;
it just shows closed mindedness. Some people manifest
great discomfort and fiercely overt hostility when addressed
with the concept of the continuation of life.



I can understand the sadness of losing communication
with a friend, the same as if he went away to Europe.

I'd think there'd only be a proper way to mourn the dead if we were all the same and we're not, it's the same with a lot of these absolute rules. I tend to retire deep into myself away from anyone, maybe have a good cry, think, A LOT and try, try as hard as I can to actually take something from the experience. Being thankful for simply having known the deceased full stop and therefore appreciating the memories that they have presented with you for life, is a good start and a great help to me.