After A Long Day At My Regular Job

I would do the same, except I can't sing, and can't play enough songs on bass to last an hour.

So I go to the bars, and spend $50 an hour on tequilla and beer.

It's guys like you who pay my mortgage Slap. Nuthin' but love for ya.

If you ever come to Raleigh I'll get you drunk at one of my karaoke shows and hook you up with this dwarf transvestite I know.

Well here's something that doesn't usually happen... I got to the gig and they'd double booked it... me and some duo of kids... they asked if we wanted to play together and I told them I was doing this when these boys were rocking the diaper.... so give me half my money and I'll go home.

So here I am with a night off, cash in my pocket and red wine and blue valium in my system. I feel relaxed, content and watching squinney in her jammys... a little heat spreading to my loins..... 8-pp

I have been paid over $800 to tell jokes for ten minutes. Gotcha beat.

Nice.... I did stand up in the early 80's for awhile. lt's of fun but the timing wasn't right. I often wonder what would have happened if I had stayed at it because because I went from mc to feature in a couple of months. I really enjoyed it and have thought of doing a few open mics to get my feet wet again.

You still active?

I do it between gigs Bear. I'm usually too busy.

what's your regular gig then?

He chauffeurs famous people around.

I would love to do standup. But I'm too lazy to put the work in just to come up with ten minutes. It's a lot of work.

Oh yea, plus I heard you're supposed to be funny.