Reply
Wed 15 Nov, 2006 10:45 pm
Someone told me a story a week or so ago that has stuck with me. It was a sad story, heartbreaking really. I've thought about it and thought about it.
It was not someone I know well who told me the story. I see her on a fairly regular basis but I don't really know her. Her story centered around some angst to arrive for Thanksgiving. She was really rather frantic and miserable over the holiday and what it would bring. She told me the story, I think, because she knew I would understand -- and I do.
I wish I had whispered "bygone" in her ear.
Bygone is a good word that isn't used much. I think I have found contentment by relinquishing so many things to "bygone".
Do you still hold grudges or have you learned bygone?
Is it possible to teach another the philosophy of bygone?
If we could, what would happen?
This Thanksgiving I urge you to rid yourself of a bygone.
I'll bet you'll feel better.
Thanks Boomer. Thanksgiving is over here but the ordeal of Christmas is fast approaching. I'll be keeping your advice in mind.
Christmas! Did someone say the forbidden 'C' word?
[aaaaaahhhhhh.....]
My problem is that I have such an atrocious memory that I forget I'm meant to be bearing a grudge.
I bumped into someone I know the other day and wished her a breezy "hello". She looked surprised and it was only then I remembered that she'd done something really nasty to me a couple of years ago and was obviously surprised I was speaking to her.
Even when I remembered it didn't seem to matter now.
So boomerang, I agree with you.
Bygones nuthin.
I"ve got a little list
and they'll non of them be missesd.
It depends on the extent of the hurt.
I can let bygones be bygones in some instances; a disagreement, an argument....a nasty remark. But unfortunately, there are some things that just can't be forgiven. In my case there is an ongoing family matter where so much pain has been inflicted upon me, intentionally, for the past couple years that I find it impossible to even be in the same room with some of my in-laws. For that reason, I quiety bow out of any family gatherings.
It's their loss.
My mother used to order me, "Don't dwell on it." Living with grudges is like chosing to picnic beside a sanitary landfill, smells, flies, engine noises and all.
Years ago I read a quote, by Carrie Fisher of all people, that has stuck with me. She said:
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."
I think the picnic at the landfill will stick with me too, Noddy.
happycat, you sound just like my sisters talking about each other. Every time I blow out a birthday candle my wish is for them to let it go - the past can't be changed. I know they'll never forgive each other but still.....
I learned about the Power of Bygone from a surprising source. She neither forgives nor forgets but she doesn't let her bygones define her life.
Some people think she's foolish; I think she's very smart.
dadpad wrote:Bygones nuthin.
I"ve got a little list
and they'll non of them be missesd.
She did say, "rid yourself of a bygone...."
boomerang - I'm not just talking about my in-laws....I've been shunned from the family for reasons about which I don't wish to elaborate.
But regardless, I was a member of that family - a sister-in-law, an aunt and a great-aunt for over 30 years.
But, for the past 3 years, I've been treated like a non-person for something that didn't even have anything to do with anyone other than my husband and myself.
These people are strict Catholic every-Sunday-go-to-church types....that act like their s*** don't stink.
However, I've saved a lot of money on gifts, and my Christmas shopping is much easier to do now.
Living well is the best revenge.
~George Herbert
I don't want to forget my bye-gones. They remind me who and why I can't trust or don't like certain people.
I am with Dorothy on that one.
There is a reason why I have excluded certain people from my life,
and I don't care to include them ever again. I wouldn't go as far as
to hold resentment over them eternally - I just ceased to care for them.
That's all!
Life is to short than to waste it with people one cannot trust.
Nice idea, boomer.
But it's a lot easier to let bygones be bygones when someone doesn't keep repeating them.
I would think that something isn't bygone if it keeps happening!
I don't really mean forgetting about the way someone might have wronged us.
And I guess you don't really have to forgive to let something be bygone.
Maybe cutting someone out of your life is a way to rid yourself of a bygone -- as long as you can do it without remorse or regret and as long as you don't continue to carry anger at that person around with you.
At my age I've gotten to read the death notices of some of my bygones
and even gotten to see a couple of them laid out in coffins. Now that's
what I call closure.
Na-na-naaa-na! Na-na-naaa-na! Hey hey-ey, Goo-ood bye!
I'm not unforgiving -- quite the opposite -- but some people have been
toxic. Luckily, I've been able to separate myself from them, if not
physically, then emotionally.
I've gone my own way, done my own thing. The present is a pretty good
place for me. I can let the past go.
George wrote:At my age I've gotten to read the death notices of some of my bygones
and even gotten to see a couple of them laid out in coffins. Now that's
what I call closure.
Na-na-naaa-na! Na-na-naaa-na! Hey hey-ey, Goo-ood bye!
That's so funny, George. I actually never thought that you're capable
of such a statement. I've seen you as the all forgiving, gentle soul - until
now of course, and I agree with you.
CalamityJane wrote:George wrote:At my age I've gotten to read the death notices of some of my bygones
and even gotten to see a couple of them laid out in coffins. Now that's
what I call closure.
Na-na-naaa-na! Na-na-naaa-na! Hey hey-ey, Goo-ood bye!
That's so funny, George. I actually never thought that you're capable
of such a statement. I've seen you as the all forgiving, gentle soul - until
now of course, and I agree with you.
I hasten to add that I did not actually kill them.
Nor did I sing that song aloud at their funerals.
Just so's ya know...
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace