I didn't know if I should vomit or laugh...

I'm on the way home a little earlier today and I swung my truck into one of those gas station/convenience stores so I could top off the tank, use the bathroom, and grab a bag of sunflower seeds.

I fill up the tank and walk into the store and head back to the bathroom. It is one of the small bathrooms with one urinal and one toilet stall. Usually if there is someone in there they lock the door but the door was unlocked and I walked in. I should have turned around immediately and walked out because I was hit by this wall of odor with the force of a sledgehammer.

There was this guy standing at the urinal and the odor apparently didn't bother him -- he was going about his business, staring at the wall and whistling a tune.

I had another thirty miles or so to go before I got home and I didn't like the idea of standing on the roadside taking a leak, so I figured I would quickly dart into the stall (where the odor obviously was emanating from) and pray to hell it was only a lingering odor and not a situation where some thoughtless bastard had neglected to flush.

I swung the door open.

The sight that greeted me caused my senses to reel. It was a horrific mass of toilet paper and crap mixed together into this ghastly concoction that seemed to have a life of its own. Piles of crap that looked as if someone had dumped a truckload of Baby Ruth bars on a pile of cotton and the water melded the two things together created this horrific vision.

My knees started to buckle and bile began to rise in my throat at the same time I noticed something alien wedged into one of the turds.

A wallet.

It sat an an angle and appeared to be working its way into the center of one of the death logs.

I raced out of there, laughing, choking, and gasping for breath. I figured I would take my chances on the side of the road. As I neared the cash register there was this guy standing in line who looked a lot like George Castanza from "Seinfeld" and he had some items placed on the counter. He reaches back for his wallet and, realizing it wasn't there, started patting his pockets in a furious manner. Then he stopped, thought for a second, and made a beeline for the bathroom.

I paid the cashier for my gasoline, chuckling as I was doing so.

"What's so funny?", he asked, appearing to be a little annoyed with me.

"Oh, nothing really." I said and turned to leave.

As I was walking out the door I said to the guy, "I'd be a little careful accepting cash from that guy when he comes back."

I left and his puzzled stare followed me.