I didn't know gus worked at Home Depot

Leave the bastid alone


he is off his meds


mean ole woman you..........

Couldn't get one of the guys at the office to cut the wire for you, eh?

I'm surprised you found an HD employee actually willing to talk with you. I have to chase the bastids halfway round the store and corner them just to ask a question. And, if it makes you feel any better, they're just as condescending to me. They're also just about equally as clueless as your erstwhile gus sounds.

But I don't think they let our gus work at Home Depot anymore. Not since that embarassing little incident with the garden gnomes...

If you would get your hands out of your pants........



that might not happen

Don't be ridiculous. Why would chai be walking around HD with her hands in her pants?

I find that men have similar problems when trying to purchase goods of the female orientated variety.

Conversation I had once in Mammaries 'R' us......

"I'd like to purchase a bra, please"

"Certainly sir, front clip, back clip, underwired, sports, sexy, padded, nipple-less, push up, wonder or nursing?"

"Bloody hell, I just thought that there was the one type, made to stop them from wobbling...... the shopping list just says bra!...look"

"That says brie, actually.....does sir usually wear spectacles?"

"Bugger.....oh well, at least I got the french letters"

"That says fresh lettuce, sir"

"Ah!"

Lord, you're funny...

Hmmph! Thanks for that slap in the face!

Don't be silly, I wasn't going to go all the way back to the HD offices to have someone cut my wires.


Oh....you mean guys at MY office?

I work in a female dominatrix, I mean dominated industry. On the odd occassion a man wanders in here, they're usually here to service me or get yelled at by the big boss (a woman) When that happens I usually rush in, hold them down and drool on their face.


blacksmith...they really treat other guys that way too?
Seriously, my thoughts were "I don't feel like explaining to you what I have to do." He wasn't trying to be helpful, just trying to make me realize I was obviously in there by accident. He obviously wasn't going to pick out the proper snips for me....

You know, it wasn't even an age issue, which at first I thought about.

Moving on...here's something I find quite often....

You're working on a project, be it mechanical, business, computer, art, whatever...and you have a really good grip on what you're needs are. You know, that you need a certain size, certain capacity, etc.

When you approach the salesman, you give them enough information that it's VERY clear you know what you need, and haven't just started doing this yesterday...

Well, here we go...Questions are good, but please don't ask me questions about what I've already told you, and you'd know if you'd been paying attention.

Sometimes, when it's going in that circular direction, I'll say to the person something like. "I think I've told you everything you'd need to know to help me, what part did you not understand? I'll go over whatever you didn't get, or repeat it all, but this time listen."

heh...ever notice how you'll say something really simple to someone, they're looking at you, and they'll say "What?"

Try this....say back to them...."You heard me."

I usually get my wife to go with me. That way, on the odd occassion that I actually need their assistance, I can chase them down the aisle while my wife blocks their escape route at the other end.

Once I corner them, I usually have to explain a couple times what I need and why. They sometimes ask questions that have absolutely nothing to do with my project or needs. One time, in plumbing, a guy actually gave me some good unsolicited advice and a good tip. I don't think he works there anymore.

Sometimes I will ask one of the girls. Particularly if they are pretty. I may not get my answer but at least I don't have to chase them through the store and they quite often offer to take me through the store to find what I am looking for.

It is on these excursions that I should have left the wife behind.

At least the staff is easy to find in those orange aprons.

Well, they certainly treat me like that-- and I've been doing carpentry and metalwork for 20 years! I went into one of the big box stores-- Lowes or HD, I can't remember-- to get some large galvanized nails about 8" long. I know they carry them, but can't seem to find them on the nail aisle. I find and corner Employee of the Month and explain what I want, where can I find them please? First thing out of the Employee of the Month's mouth-- What do you want them for?

Well, what the eff do you care? Maybe I want to drive them into my skull and end the agony of this shopping trip. Do you have them or not?! I don't want to engage in a discussion about my latest project, I want to be WORKING on my latest project. Now give me the effin' nails and let me go!

Exactly! I cringe when I hear that. None of yer business what I want them for! Just tell me where to find them!

It seems that some things are exactly the same in Canada and the U.S. Must be a corporate training program on stupid questions.

I know a guy who used to be a Home Depot manager.

He says they all live for the day when a woman will ask for the stud finder.

As long as she doesn't ask for screws at the same time.

Reminds me of a joke newspaper headline from way back.

A crazy man runs into a laundromat, ravages a woman who is doing her laundry, and runs away.

Headline....




















"NUT SCREWS WASHER AND BOLTS!"

G'Night all.

You're talkin' to a woman who owns TWO stud finders..

What, couldn't you find anything with the first one?

So I'm working at the Home Depot and I see Chai standing in the scissors aisle. I walked up to her and asked he what she was doing.

"I need to cut some really thick wire, Gus, and am looking for the right scissors for the job."

"You don't use scissors for cutting wires, you dumb bitch. Ya gotta get yourself a good strong set of wirecutters."

"Oh... silly me. I'm so helpless. What are wirecutters?"

"Follow me."

We get to the wirecutter aisles and I took down a good set of wirecutters and handed them to Chai. Then I lit a cigarette and told her to get the hell out of the store because she was cramping my style.

Chai put the wirecutters in her back pocket and then, as she clutched a couple of stupid-looking metal orbs she had purchased in the gardening department, she kissed me on the head and said, "Thanks, Gus, I've always considered you to be a stud and if you come over later on, after I finish cutting the wire, I will ride you like a crazed bitch."



I sat there smoking my cigarette, painfully aware of the moisture left from her lips on my head, and desperately wanting to wipe it off, but I resisted.

I just stood there and fumed.

How does Chai ride crazed bitches, anyway?